Hi. I found that on my first day of no pills, done tapering, I worried more about having no pills than going thru more wd.
It's such a different way of living, not having those back up drugs.
Stick with your program ...you know it's worth it!
I like the fact that you wrote a letter to the demon of addiction. I've always look at this diease as if it were a real person that is basically the devil. This diease is patient and will wait for us. It basically sits back and waits until we have a terrible days or a fight with our spouse. It sits back and laughs at us until we relapse. Anyway stay strong and I'm glad u r going to AA. I go 3 times a week and I've been clean and sober for 16 months after a terrible bout with pain meds. I wish you could take the week off to get through the worst of the WD's. If u want post what u were taking and how much. Stat strong and God bless.
Just giving you a shout of encouragement! I haven't logged on much due to being busy with work (and not my addiction, woohoo!) was on prescribed pain meds for years and kicked them a few months ago. I work a full time (and then some) job at a law firm and have two small children and went through wd. Believe me, it was AWFUL and I am NOT a strong person, so if I can do it, you can go through wd at work too. Honestly, as hard as it was to get up, dressed, make up, etc., it passed the time...it kept me busy..and when going through wd, three solid minutes in a row that you aren't thinking of how awful it is, is amazing, ha!
You can do this!!!
Good Morning Lady! You have already shown so much strength...you will get through this! Stay out of your head when addiction tries to creep in. Play your music or favorite funny movies. Your beautiful job (cuz u have a really cool place of employment) will distract you as you stare around at nature and know that God is good and on your side. Keep up your meetings. You have already worked out such a great plan and stuck to it - you are so strong. I ditto Spike, I am nothing special - no stronger, no better - and deeply believe that if I can do it so can you! Keep posting when you need strength and support. We are here for you!
girl you are doing great it seams that you have your head in a good place and your work environment well we all need to work at a place like that lol love your "lunch room" keep yourself busy move as much as possible drink lots of water and eat as clean as you can the mental crap starts after and that stinks but just stick close to here there are lots of great people on here with lots of GREAT advise they really helped pull me out of an almost relapse thing i was going thru over the weekend i am so grateful for this forum and everyone that is on here best of luck to you your doing great so far just know that!!!
Wow...thank you all,,it is exactly what I needed today...so far so good...I'll keep posting because your words lift my spirits, thank you again...
Hi..Very proud of you! Now just keep putting one step in front of the other and always remember to keep your Guard Up!!
How are you feeling both physically & mentally??
You can get through. Its all a mind game. You can trick your mind feeling anyway you like based on your atmosphere and thoughts. If your sad dont wallow in it. Get on the phone and don't even talk about addiction just talking normally to take your mind off of it. Get in the car and listen to some music or scream your head off if that's what you feel like doing. Pills are a cover up. Break out!!!
Break out...I like that...physically I am rather achy, and restless. Mentally, I am really set in my heart and mind, but emotionally, well, I've been not very nice to be around :( I wallow in self pity. I have covered up the last 20 years of life with mind altering chemicals (alcohol was #1) So, feeling is REALLY raw!!!!! I am scared, and I don't know what I'm scared of. Regret the past and am frightened of the future. Just this minute though....I will have dinner and go to my meeting...thank you all for holding me up.
Raw emotions is a good thing cuz u r feeling again. I know it is tough to push thru, but u can do it! So glad to hear u r going to a meeting and getting that face to face contact. Sending u virtual hugs! xoxo
Hey Gettingalife back,
Love your name btw bc it is powerful and positive. You're taking control and I love that. I finished my taper and felt so much like you do now. I am 30 days out and today was incredible. I don't know how long your taper was, but I see you spent longer than me on drugs, but just by four years. 16 years is a long time too, and I am here to tell you that fearing the future is not what you need to do. Why? because the hard part is tapering, then a week to ten days of physical withdrawal (from methadone on my part), and then there is some absence you may feel emotionally and with your motivation, but going to work, is exactly what you should be doing. You can make the time pass so much faster just by staying busy. You've already done so much of the hard part by now!
I wrote a lot about it all in my journals, but just keeping your thoughts geared toward success is very key. Also not giving into thoughts about how bad it is. I had the digestive issues pretty bad during the end of my taper and for a while after. I had very bad insomnia for a long long time, and I was run down and sick, but I did always promise myself that I would at least get up and try to do things before I would just give into what my mind was trying to tell me when it said "I can't" most times, I would shock the hell out of myself by doing so much more than I thought capable.
I can tell you that the jump from my taper was only hard that first day. After that, I wasn't afraid. I was opening my arms saying "come on future.. I'm a waiting for you" haha some days were harder than others but 30 days has flown by so freaking fast. The taper was the hard part, and there was some difficulty after with that badness feeling setting in, but I didn't dwell in it tool long as it seemed to grow the longer I lingered on the couch or at home in the mornings. I think you have to do real work to shake it off and then when you've gotten up and about, exercised, interacted with others, and all to the best of your ability, if not to 100%, you will find by days end you feel better for having stuck it out. I think that sitting around waiting for yourself to get well is infinitely harder than getting up and getting practiced in daily activities minus your DOC. It's so much harder my god it is, but you don't think it that when you're languishing. What you think is "I can't... I don't feel like it... I can't even move" but for me, that wasn't actually true. I could move, I just wasn't that motivated to do so, but for whatever reason, motivation followed action in this case.
Doing all you can to get well faster includes participating in daily life even when you don't want to, banishing negative thoughts about your ability, banishing fears to the best of your ability, inserting positive self talk, taking on things that challenge you so you can better learn to handle adversity, learning to self soothe, as the drug used to do it all for you, and also exercise, eating healthy, and I tell you some electrolytes and protein works wonders for sleep, anxiety, and RLS. Oh and reading as much as you can about the nature and science of addiction/recovery, esp for your own DOC.
I hope this makes any sense at all. Good luck and you've got this! I have been where you are now, and it isn't a cake walk, but It will go by so fast. Don't relapse which only ensures you will go back to the same place, the same pain, the same trap again. It feels so good to be free. I can go anywhere, do anything without the aid of a drug. I can get up and move under power of my own body and it's great. I hope you will continue and I can congratulate you on 30 days.