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Totally Gutted

Husband has been in recovery since April 2006 from Heroin, crack, amphetamine use and done really well, that was until today when he said he was addicted to Codeine and benzo's.  I feel so hurt and lost, Ive lived the lies before, said no way again and boom here I am.  I feel really angry as well, because I cant understand why the dipstick docs would prescribe opiate painkillers to a recovering drug addict, this has ripped my life apart once and it seems like its happening all over again, I feel such a damn idiot for not recognising the signs, the mood swings, erratic sleeping patterns, sweats. Stupid, stupid, stupid
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677105 tn?1226274313
So sorry for what you are going through and we are here to help if you need it.  Since he told you about it, maybe he is ready to quit.  That would be a start.  It is not your fault.  Perhaps you should try to find an Al-Anon meeting that is specifically directed at family members who live with addicts.  I will say a lil prayer...
Helpful - 0
536882 tn?1225512859
Sorry for what you are going through.  Realize that it is not your fault, nor your responsibility to 'watch for the signs'.  Your husband is an adult.  He knows he has a choice when it comes to taking pills.  Its not the doctor's fault.  Its your husbands.  He should have reminded the doctor about his addicitons and concern thereof.  I think he probably was looking for an excuse to use again.....may not be the case, but I am an addict and thats how my mind works. If he goes to the doctor, the doc is going to try and help him.  He puts trust in your husband that he will take as directed.  So blaming it on the doctor, or yourself for not catching it is the wrong avenue.  Many times we disregard the signs because we truely care about them, and .....we have begun to trust them again.  Don't feel bad about that.

Your husband needs to accept responsibility for what has happend.  Be accountable for his actions, and realize he will be an addict the rest of his life.  It will never go away.  Sits on the sideline and waits for us to let down our guard and hits us full force.

You have been here before.  What did you do last time?  If you haven't been already, I suggest Alanon.  It will give you the strength and support you need during this stressful time.  If your husband wants to get clean, he has to do the work....you can't do it for him.  But you can work on you, and the way you react to his behavior.  Set your boundaries again...and stick to them.....firmly.  Don't set limits you're not willing to enforce....let him know what you will tolerate, and what you won't.  
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