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Avatar universal

Tramadol is going to kill me

I have to stop this. I am a chronic pain patient. Have access to anything from morphine, percocet, most recently Belladonna/Opium and pure oxycodone. nothing I take compares to my drug of choice for the past 3 years.. that evil little white pill, Tramadol

I am not a " high" type person. never enjoyed the stoned feeling. I have extreme lethargy from several chronic diseases and when I found this little speed pill that gave me super energy and feeling like a normal person again , I was hooked.  I was able to get out of bed and have strength, clean my house , go out with my kids, be a normal mom again.

So here I am now , and have been for awhile now, desperately trying to make it until my next script, doctor shopping, E.R. visits just for the purpose of getting more tramadol because my pain managment doctor would cut me off if they knew id taken 150 tablets in a week ... Thats my usual now...  its always been 4 at a time , at least 12 per day,  but for the past year its usually 15-20 per day.  

Ive tried to w/d on my own... its literal hell and I cannot take it. Ive used other drugs to replace tramadol ( vicodin, norco etc)  and ive sucessfully done it , but I always go back to tramadol, only because of the energy it gives me.  If I didnt suffer from debilitating fatigue, I wouldnt have ever started this junk. All I wanted  was to be pain free and have a normal energy level. I once had ambition, I could do anything, Now , there are only 3 magic words I wait to hear, " your prescriptions ready"

Ive conned so many doctors, pharmacies, some at the same time... anything to get that pill that controls my life. Im so tired of being slave to a drug that is destroying my body.  its exhausting...  literally scared to look at my bottle, in case its getting low... then the anxiety sets in ," ok I have to start figuring out how to get another script before that runs out."  Im running out of options....  and Im just TIRED.

and to top it all off , last week, I swore I would stop again ... BUT I NEED energy, because I DO suffer from chronic fatigue and I conned some Adderall....  I took the whole bottle of 40 in 3 days.

Thats when I realize , nothing is going to work , because , I AM AN ADDICT. thats the reality. I think it really set it when I was researching on google "  how to call in your own prescriptions" AND I almost went through with it. If I had I probably would have been arrested.

So the question----   HOW do I stop this? Ive been trying to drag myself to the rehab clinic for methadone/suboxone.... I cant be chained to a methadone clinic... just wont work for me . and im scared that subuxone wont give me the energy I need. SO im literally terrified that I will move onto adderall , no matter if I do manage to quit the tram....

I need help
39 Responses
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12389102 tn?1425007432

I signed up here to share the same sentiments. I think that was almost a decade ago when I first tested the power of Ultram. But later on, I just figured out that it affects perilously the cognitive-related functions of my system. The liver enzymes got aggravated terribly, and also the haemoglobin decreases. I similarly experienced the epileptiform convulsions every single night. Though, I illicitly fond of using this kind of opionid pain medication, my body can't handle what I fancied the most. My daughter and sons appealed that I have to avert using excessive dose so I can still manage life to the fullest. I hope your family will aid you, too.
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Avatar universal
Do you have any after affects from the Tramadol quitting since you substituted Suboxone then got off that? Any depression, anxiety? I have wds from tapering already and their mental and physical. My Dr is going to send me to pain management for tapering. I am starting before I get there. What if they try to taper me too fast? I will go crazy. I went cold turkey when I started reading how bad Tram is. Made it 7 days but now that back on them it seems like I feel wds all the time. And it's uneasiness and anxiety. I'm so scared. Do you recommend Suboxone short term for Tramadol detox? And again, any Tramadol post symptoms? Thanx you so very much!
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11532111 tn?1421549858
Oh  Tramadol the worst hell of my life I actually hold a grudge against them I hate those Sum *******
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Avatar universal
Well...  I am glad you made the decision to taper and will continue to wish you well and check in your posts to see how you're doing.

I'm especially happynwith myself today :).  I turned down pain meds.  

Actually told my pain mgmt Dr I was taking a break from anything narcotic or addictive.
He's thinking I'm a little nuts... Yeah lol maybe so but its coming from a good place. I'm feeling empowered! Even as I sit here with pain in my joints so nadnthat it feels like theyve been smashed with a hammer ... And my skin feel an sunburned BC of nerve pain,   I'm STAYING STRONG!!   I AM going to gather some info on good SSRI/NRI s and it tricyclic meds that work for pain and may have an energy boost quality.  Right now I have aqua/massage therapy  / my nerve stimulators / methylprednisilone/ coumadin and my seizure meds. That's all I'm taking    I'm suffering but I made it out alive!

Screw tramadol.  NEVER EVER AGAIN!  The thought of it makes me sick
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Avatar universal
Sorry, I am referring to Tramadol.
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Avatar universal
I just got brave and told my Dr that I want off them because they scare me. So now there is no going back. I totally get everything you say about the energy thing. And it is a very functionable! When my Dr first prescribed them after I came down with a chronic pain disease, I would tell everyone how the energy part of it was a bonus and how I never felt foggy like some medications will do. Just on and on then bam! Read somewhere hope evil these little white pills really are. I became obsessed with reading story after story to the point of going cold turkey within days of reading horror stories. By day 7 I was in acute mental dip and simply could not go on. Looking forward to a very slow taper after I told her what I did. I am getting sent to pain management and pray they will understand why I want the very slow taper.
I hope you find a doctor that you know you could trust and confess to him or her and just cry out for help. There are many compassionate Drs. Or they wouldn't be doing what their doing.. oh and cry out to God to show you His love, big perk! Blessings
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Avatar universal
24 hours since last suboxone dose... Feeling good :)
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Avatar universal
Thanks for all the support.  You l have been wonderful.

I am currently taking about .5 mg of sub during the day. Then around 1 mg at night

I'm still here...  But that's about it.
No way I'm going to methadone. Don't need it.   Pain mgmt keeps calling wanting to replace my meds. I haven't called back BC I'm not sure what to say. I guess I'll get to that later.

I'm going to make it through this. Luckily, without a sub addiction. I hate this junk. Hate feeling high ... That was never my thing.  Going to my rheumatologist tomorrow to ask about provigil or vyvanase.  Anything to stop me from going to adderall.  Its SO hard not to  . my addiction started and continued due to the energy / euphoria I got from tram.  That's what i am craving

I am going to have to be brutally honest with my doctor and tell him , look , I NEED something to help me with fatigue or I'm going to get the adderall and I do NOT want to do that. I'm fighting it but I can't live this way . I'm done with tramadol ( my only source of energy) so I have to have something.

I'm so afraid he won't give it to me.  
And I will start dosing again with adderall.

Once an addict , always an addict...
I start seeing a pdoc on Thursday...  So trying to stay strong :)
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Avatar universal
Methadone was much harder to stop than other opioids . Trading one addiction for an even harder one is a nightmare. The withdrawals from methadone are horrendous . Do some research, speak to an addiction specialist not just a regular dr.
Helpful - 0
6726276 tn?1421126668
Me too. I have 2 diseases that require frequent maintenance surgeries.
  Usually I take 10/325 Norco. Then reduce according to Dr taper. Then jump.
Last time they gave me scripts of Tramadol to be taken with Celebrex.
  I took one dose, then I remembered reading about Tramadol here. So I went back to the Dr and said no way Jose.
  I know what to expect and how to get off opioids. In the old days I refused Vicodin in favor of regular codeine. That's even easier to get off of when it's necessary to take pain meds.
  Tramadol has some weird tricky components.
  I know you have loads of medical problems. But do you also see a Pdoc?
I'm bipolar and more dependent when I take meds. I have bipolar and add.
  Hated adderral. But new Pdoc has me on super low dose of Vyvance.
It's ok. I take it with .025 mg ( use pill cutter) of Klonipin .
  It's my treatment. Plain and simple. I don't abuse either. The quality of my life hAs improved over this last year. ( year before in mental hospital 3 times. Outpatient hospital. And regular hospital twice. 72 days of IV Cubisin.  
   I will also advise NAMI support group. Or DBSA. I've been to both and when I'm in the USa I'm a regular.
  Some people prefer NA or AA. While I'm here in Costa Rica I do my support group online. Here on medhelp. Private message me anytime. I also suffer migranes. I understand     We are all suffering.  All the best to you. Maxy
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Avatar universal
DEA* ... Not FDA  Kinda out of it right now.  Sorry
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Avatar universal
I forgot to mention ...  You say tramadol hasn't impacted your life negatively... Well that's the MAIN reason I've had trouble letting it go back n the early stages..
Tramadol made my life WONDERFUL.  Loads of energy and ability to be pain free ...even now ...  

The ONLY reason it has negatively impacted my life is that I want MORE and more.  Tolerance has built and I can take 10 at a time without batting an eye  and even though I have a pain mgmt doc that gives me 150 per month.  Its not enough. It lasts me a week if I'm careless and if I stretch it I can last 2 weeks.

The negativity in my life is that I take enough to kill a horse..... If I weren't already on seizure meds I probably would've had one by now...  My liver is slightly damaged already from taking so many    but the worst part .. And the reason um trying to give it up is this :

Anxiety over running out and counting the pills.  Can't leave home without them... Constant worry that I'll run out and can't get more.  

When you start counting pills and have anxiety about it.   That's a problem.

Just my .02
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Avatar universal
I started with 2 50 mg tablets as needed , usually 6 a day .. Then 8 .. Then I lost control.  

If you are at a point that you can taper , and you sound like you can...  Then that's your best bet .

There are many other options for pain than this insidious drug. I was sold a bill of goods.  Its the most addicting drug I've ever been on. Ive been on alot for pain.  Now please don't take what I'm saying as an all or nothing because SOME people aren't even affected by it .  

Having said that...  I have recently spoken with several recovering addicts on other boards and a few were grown men that said they had come off of much harder illegal drugs and it was nothing compared to the horror of tramadol withdrawal. I know how horrible it is.   I'm a very strong person with many illnesses and am no stranger to suffering  and I cannot take it. The withdrawal is just too horrible.

Its recently been controlled by the FDA and with the research I've seen lately and the doctors I've spoken with , everyone wants it off the market. Im even reading about possible class actions against the drug company (again.. just what I'm hearing)

All you have to do is google "tramadol withdrawal"

You'll be amazed at how many hard core addicts are on the internet talking about how they feel like they are dying from stopping this drug and that even their withdrawals from illegal drugs were easier to tolerate.

I wish someone had warned me    but doctors are only recently waking up and stopped handing it out in a pez dispenser.

I just so happened to start taking it when it was considered to be a "non habit forming wonder drug "



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Avatar universal
I happened to come accross this site when I was looking up info on tramadol. As a child I was diagnosed with charcot marie tooth disease it's progressive muscular dystrophy.  With it comes lots of pain and off and on struggles with walking. As well as insane restless leg syndrome.  So I had started seeing a neurologist who prescribed me Tramadol for the pain about 6 years ago. Ive been taking 2, 50 mg tablets 3 times a day since the start. Occasionally I would have to take a couple extra because on pain in the middle of the night. I had NO IDEA this was an addictive medication until lastnight. I have never tried to come off of it because I didn't think it was doing any bad for me. Now I have seen other posts of people saying Tramadol has changed them and their lives negatively.  I haven't experienced that. It has allowed me to be able to walk and function better. It hasnt affected my mood. However I do find myself counting them to make sure I have enough until my next refill. And if for some reason I run out early I get super scared. I have gone a couple of days without before and it was ugly. But at the time I didnt think "addiction". Ive never been addicted to anything ever. So seeing these posts does strike lost of concerns and fear in me. I dont know what I should do now. I haven't taken my morning dose today because im scared to. I actually got myself away from having to take my afternoon one. So really I take 2 in the morning and 2 at night. What should I do? my big fear is the withdrawal symptoms.  I dont do well with being sick.
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Avatar universal
Well...

I think I'll hold off on the sub doctor for now....  I AM going to talk to him about what is going on though..

Started the sub strips Friday night ...  I felt great other than vomiting once .

For my second dose yesterday , I took only a small piece of the strip , around 1mg  ( half of what I took friday)

Yesterday I was a zombie ... Knocked out , literally like I was floating and could hardly hold my body up. Slept most of the day because I couldn't lift myself out of bed.

I got a great night sleep and just woke up feeling really good.  I'm going to hold off until this afternoon to take another dose and its going to be a tiny sliver! Can't afford to be a zombie and even with strong anti emetic meds I've still been so sick.

This is definitely NOT going to be a habit...  Honestly , I can make these last for awhile...  I started with 2 8mg strips and still have 1 and 1/2 left!

I hate the high feeling ... Don't want it...

One good thing... I feel good now... Out of the pill haze I'm usually in... I feel clear headed and even though I have no energy , its still good to feel normal...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow. Where do you live that a doc would tell you to buy subs off the street?? It's to bad you couldn't have hung in there a few more days. I know how bad withdrawls stink but we all have to go through them. You were almost to the end of the physical part. Take care,whatever you choose I hope it works for you!!
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Avatar universal
I know that I need a very intensive program. I am definitely getting a treatment plan and sticking to it , counseling and the whole 9 yards.

I called the sub Dr that I'm seeing on Monday and told him what I was thinking. He said he'd rather me get a few sub strips than go back to tramadol or dose myself with lopermide....

so I did get 2 8mg strips.  I took 1/2 of it and a couple zofran for nasuea and I feel perfect.  Not high, not speedy , just pleasantly comfortable.  

I definitely need an intensive treatment plan ; I agree.  But I know myself , and I know that I will need maintaince on medication to prevent relapse until I can get this whole mess straightend out. I know that without meds of some kind that I will always go back to the tram.... Always have and always will UNTIL I can get strong enough to overcome the disease of addiction , not just withdrawal...  

There are so many aspects of this problem. But for me there is even more because it have to figure out how to control all my health problems and pain etc now without pain meds...  

This is the most difficult battle I've ever had to face   and I'm feeling like for the first time , I'm going to actually make it!  I've tried and failed doing it " my way"   and I think I'm going to finally win this time!
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Avatar universal
Not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet but those doses of tramadol could cause serotonin syndrome... Please be very careful x
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480448 tn?1426948538
You have been off the trams for what?  4, 5 days right?  By Monday, that will be a week!  Going on Subs at that point would be just going backwards.  Please give it a LOT of thought...and definitely don't start self medicating with subs you get off the street.

You need a more intensive recovery plan IMO.  You're not addressing all of the underlying issues, you're only looking for relief for how you feel.  While that's understandable.....that part of it WILL get better and eventually resolve.  The addictive tendencies will not....those you have to work on.
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Avatar universal
Hey, I'm confused. Why do you need subs to taper from tramadol?
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Avatar universal
Found a wonderful drbqho can see me on Monday for subuxone. Only have to come up with a few hundred dollars....  But I'm losing my mind now and my whole body hurts , brain zaps , nasuea and feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.  

BUT I'm NOT going to get tramadol..  I'm not ..

However I do have an opportunity to get a few sub strips ... I'm probably going to break down and get those    

Lord please help me ... I've fallen in the gutter and can't get out!! Ugh
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Avatar universal
I know..  That has been running through my mind all day.  I know that script will be ready and i know I will go get it. SO.. I will be sure to tell whoever I get help from that its there and I need to let the pharmacy know to destroy it.

I've called 25 local offices and none of them take insurance.  

The last Dr I spoke with called me from his cell and he seems like he was talking to a friend when he spoke to me. Which is nice.. But he said he's never heard of detox from tramadol with suboxone .. Most everyone he sees uses heroine....  but if I want to try it then he's all for it ...so he's gonna call me back in an hour so we can talk.

Still calling other doctors in the meantime....  

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Avatar universal
1000% agreement w/ msdelight.
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Avatar universal
No its not strange at all. It is a very common mistake that people who are in early detox make all the time. The safety net. The backup plan. This will backfire on you because it will be there lying in wait to get you. And you will go get it. It will be calling your name the entire time and at some point you will listen. By the way, Walgreens didn't tell CVS anything. The national database did. Your name and birthday bring up all past scripts. No insurance needed. Those days of paying cash are over. Please speak to your doctor about a taper plan and start weaning off asap.
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