Aa
Tramadol is going to kill me
I have to stop this. I am a chronic pain patient. Have access to anything from morphine, percocet, most recently Belladonna/Opium and pure oxycodone. nothing I take compares to my drug of choice for the past 3 years.. that evil little white pill, Tramadol
I am not a " high" type person. never enjoyed the stoned feeling. I have extreme lethargy from several chronic diseases and when I found this little speed pill that gave me super energy and feeling like a normal person again , I was hooked. I was able to get out of bed and have strength, clean my house , go out with my kids, be a normal mom again.
So here I am now , and have been for awhile now, desperately trying to make it until my next script, doctor shopping, E.R. visits just for the purpose of getting more tramadol because my pain managment doctor would cut me off if they knew id taken 150 tablets in a week ... Thats my usual now... its always been 4 at a time , at least 12 per day, but for the past year its usually 15-20 per day.
Ive tried to w/d on my own... its literal hell and I cannot take it. Ive used other drugs to replace tramadol ( vicodin, norco etc) and ive sucessfully done it , but I always go back to tramadol, only because of the energy it gives me. If I didnt suffer from debilitating fatigue, I wouldnt have ever started this junk. All I wanted was to be pain free and have a normal energy level. I once had ambition, I could do anything, Now , there are only 3 magic words I wait to hear, " your prescriptions ready"
Ive conned so many doctors, pharmacies, some at the same time... anything to get that pill that controls my life. Im so tired of being slave to a drug that is destroying my body. its exhausting... literally scared to look at my bottle, in case its getting low... then the anxiety sets in ," ok I have to start figuring out how to get another script before that runs out." Im running out of options.... and Im just TIRED.
and to top it all off , last week, I swore I would stop again ... BUT I NEED energy, because I DO suffer from chronic fatigue and I conned some Adderall.... I took the whole bottle of 40 in 3 days.
Thats when I realize , nothing is going to work , because , I AM AN ADDICT. thats the reality. I think it really set it when I was researching on google " how to call in your own prescriptions" AND I almost went through with it. If I had I probably would have been arrested.
So the question---- HOW do I stop this? Ive been trying to drag myself to the rehab clinic for methadone/suboxone.... I cant be chained to a methadone clinic... just wont work for me . and im scared that subuxone wont give me the energy I need. SO im literally terrified that I will move onto adderall , no matter if I do manage to quit the tram....
I need help
I am not a " high" type person. never enjoyed the stoned feeling. I have extreme lethargy from several chronic diseases and when I found this little speed pill that gave me super energy and feeling like a normal person again , I was hooked. I was able to get out of bed and have strength, clean my house , go out with my kids, be a normal mom again.
So here I am now , and have been for awhile now, desperately trying to make it until my next script, doctor shopping, E.R. visits just for the purpose of getting more tramadol because my pain managment doctor would cut me off if they knew id taken 150 tablets in a week ... Thats my usual now... its always been 4 at a time , at least 12 per day, but for the past year its usually 15-20 per day.
Ive tried to w/d on my own... its literal hell and I cannot take it. Ive used other drugs to replace tramadol ( vicodin, norco etc) and ive sucessfully done it , but I always go back to tramadol, only because of the energy it gives me. If I didnt suffer from debilitating fatigue, I wouldnt have ever started this junk. All I wanted was to be pain free and have a normal energy level. I once had ambition, I could do anything, Now , there are only 3 magic words I wait to hear, " your prescriptions ready"
Ive conned so many doctors, pharmacies, some at the same time... anything to get that pill that controls my life. Im so tired of being slave to a drug that is destroying my body. its exhausting... literally scared to look at my bottle, in case its getting low... then the anxiety sets in ," ok I have to start figuring out how to get another script before that runs out." Im running out of options.... and Im just TIRED.
and to top it all off , last week, I swore I would stop again ... BUT I NEED energy, because I DO suffer from chronic fatigue and I conned some Adderall.... I took the whole bottle of 40 in 3 days.
Thats when I realize , nothing is going to work , because , I AM AN ADDICT. thats the reality. I think it really set it when I was researching on google " how to call in your own prescriptions" AND I almost went through with it. If I had I probably would have been arrested.
So the question---- HOW do I stop this? Ive been trying to drag myself to the rehab clinic for methadone/suboxone.... I cant be chained to a methadone clinic... just wont work for me . and im scared that subuxone wont give me the energy I need. SO im literally terrified that I will move onto adderall , no matter if I do manage to quit the tram....
I need help
Thanks for all the support. You l have been wonderful.
I am currently taking about .5 mg of sub during the day. Then around 1 mg at night
I'm still here... But that's about it.
No way I'm going to methadone. Don't need it. Pain mgmt keeps calling wanting to replace my meds. I haven't called back BC I'm not sure what to say. I guess I'll get to that later.
I'm going to make it through this. Luckily, without a sub addiction. I hate this junk. Hate feeling high ... That was never my thing. Going to my rheumatologist tomorrow to ask about provigil or vyvanase. Anything to stop me from going to adderall. Its SO hard not to . my addiction started and continued due to the energy / euphoria I got from tram. That's what i am craving
I am going to have to be brutally honest with my doctor and tell him , look , I NEED something to help me with fatigue or I'm going to get the adderall and I do NOT want to do that. I'm fighting it but I can't live this way . I'm done with tramadol ( my only source of energy) so I have to have something.
I'm so afraid he won't give it to me.
And I will start dosing again with adderall.
Once an addict , always an addict...
I start seeing a pdoc on Thursday... So trying to stay strong :)
I am currently taking about .5 mg of sub during the day. Then around 1 mg at night
I'm still here... But that's about it.
No way I'm going to methadone. Don't need it. Pain mgmt keeps calling wanting to replace my meds. I haven't called back BC I'm not sure what to say. I guess I'll get to that later.
I'm going to make it through this. Luckily, without a sub addiction. I hate this junk. Hate feeling high ... That was never my thing. Going to my rheumatologist tomorrow to ask about provigil or vyvanase. Anything to stop me from going to adderall. Its SO hard not to . my addiction started and continued due to the energy / euphoria I got from tram. That's what i am craving
I am going to have to be brutally honest with my doctor and tell him , look , I NEED something to help me with fatigue or I'm going to get the adderall and I do NOT want to do that. I'm fighting it but I can't live this way . I'm done with tramadol ( my only source of energy) so I have to have something.
I'm so afraid he won't give it to me.
And I will start dosing again with adderall.
Once an addict , always an addict...
I start seeing a pdoc on Thursday... So trying to stay strong :)
Methadone was much harder to stop than other opioids . Trading one addiction for an even harder one is a nightmare. The withdrawals from methadone are horrendous . Do some research, speak to an addiction specialist not just a regular dr.
Me too. I have 2 diseases that require frequent maintenance surgeries.
Usually I take 10/325 Norco. Then reduce according to Dr taper. Then jump.
Last time they gave me scripts of Tramadol to be taken with Celebrex.
I took one dose, then I remembered reading about Tramadol here. So I went back to the Dr and said no way Jose.
I know what to expect and how to get off opioids. In the old days I refused Vicodin in favor of regular codeine. That's even easier to get off of when it's necessary to take pain meds.
Tramadol has some weird tricky components.
I know you have loads of medical problems. But do you also see a Pdoc?
I'm bipolar and more dependent when I take meds. I have bipolar and add.
Hated adderral. But new Pdoc has me on super low dose of Vyvance.
It's ok. I take it with .025 mg ( use pill cutter) of Klonipin .
It's my treatment. Plain and simple. I don't abuse either. The quality of my life hAs improved over this last year. ( year before in mental hospital 3 times. Outpatient hospital. And regular hospital twice. 72 days of IV Cubisin.
I will also advise NAMI support group. Or DBSA. I've been to both and when I'm in the USa I'm a regular.
Some people prefer NA or AA. While I'm here in Costa Rica I do my support group online. Here on medhelp. Private message me anytime. I also suffer migranes. I understand We are all suffering. All the best to you. Maxy
Usually I take 10/325 Norco. Then reduce according to Dr taper. Then jump.
Last time they gave me scripts of Tramadol to be taken with Celebrex.
I took one dose, then I remembered reading about Tramadol here. So I went back to the Dr and said no way Jose.
I know what to expect and how to get off opioids. In the old days I refused Vicodin in favor of regular codeine. That's even easier to get off of when it's necessary to take pain meds.
Tramadol has some weird tricky components.
I know you have loads of medical problems. But do you also see a Pdoc?
I'm bipolar and more dependent when I take meds. I have bipolar and add.
Hated adderral. But new Pdoc has me on super low dose of Vyvance.
It's ok. I take it with .025 mg ( use pill cutter) of Klonipin .
It's my treatment. Plain and simple. I don't abuse either. The quality of my life hAs improved over this last year. ( year before in mental hospital 3 times. Outpatient hospital. And regular hospital twice. 72 days of IV Cubisin.
I will also advise NAMI support group. Or DBSA. I've been to both and when I'm in the USa I'm a regular.
Some people prefer NA or AA. While I'm here in Costa Rica I do my support group online. Here on medhelp. Private message me anytime. I also suffer migranes. I understand We are all suffering. All the best to you. Maxy
I forgot to mention ... You say tramadol hasn't impacted your life negatively... Well that's the MAIN reason I've had trouble letting it go back n the early stages..
Tramadol made my life WONDERFUL. Loads of energy and ability to be pain free ...even now ...
The ONLY reason it has negatively impacted my life is that I want MORE and more. Tolerance has built and I can take 10 at a time without batting an eye and even though I have a pain mgmt doc that gives me 150 per month. Its not enough. It lasts me a week if I'm careless and if I stretch it I can last 2 weeks.
The negativity in my life is that I take enough to kill a horse..... If I weren't already on seizure meds I probably would've had one by now... My liver is slightly damaged already from taking so many but the worst part .. And the reason um trying to give it up is this :
Anxiety over running out and counting the pills. Can't leave home without them... Constant worry that I'll run out and can't get more.
When you start counting pills and have anxiety about it. That's a problem.
Just my .02
Tramadol made my life WONDERFUL. Loads of energy and ability to be pain free ...even now ...
The ONLY reason it has negatively impacted my life is that I want MORE and more. Tolerance has built and I can take 10 at a time without batting an eye and even though I have a pain mgmt doc that gives me 150 per month. Its not enough. It lasts me a week if I'm careless and if I stretch it I can last 2 weeks.
The negativity in my life is that I take enough to kill a horse..... If I weren't already on seizure meds I probably would've had one by now... My liver is slightly damaged already from taking so many but the worst part .. And the reason um trying to give it up is this :
Anxiety over running out and counting the pills. Can't leave home without them... Constant worry that I'll run out and can't get more.
When you start counting pills and have anxiety about it. That's a problem.
Just my .02
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