Tramdol withdrawl...I feel very ill

[artistsandie]

I was placed on Tramadol for pain management 5 years ago. I did not abuse my prescription, in fact took less. Now as my health has improved i decided I no longer needed it. I never felt i was addicted, was i blind! I have weaned down and today is my fist day with that drug. What more do I need to expect will happen coming off this medication. I have never been involved with drugs or drinking so this is hard. I know no who has gone through withdrawals. I cannot sleep and haves huge waves of feeling like bugs are running on all my nerves. I sit in the shower   as long as the water keeps warm and make many trips to the restroom. How long will this last?

[dummy63]

I've been reading all these inspiring post and must say I hope for you the best are you still off of this evil thing.

[artistsandie]

Disneyland at 60 plus is very different then last time I was there at 28, even the park itself has changed and grown.  With this new age of technology the girls with their cells phones were off on their own for the adventures the park had to offer.  Now what I thought as I looked around at the huge crowds of people and quickly ducked into the nearest store front to look around and think as well as taking a deep, I was ready to deal with the masses. I picked my way through the human swarms as I dodged those who were totally lost in the moment and had no conciseness of their soundings as well as darting children I found strength as I held Scotts hand tightly. I have never been one for crowds, yet today I was letting go of all that past solitary existence and living in the now.  Scott could feel my panic rising and pulled me into a ride, a Star Was adventure where you sit and as if in a space ship, it was so much fun all the bouncing and turning as it looked like you were really traveling in space. I laughed and screamed and had a wonderful experience.  So here we were grandparents now looking at the wonderment of this magical place and the crowds faded to nothing more than a challenge making our way to the next adventure. We stopped for a time to gaze at the fireworks show put to the music from many Disneyland movies, bursting colors backed by the black sky, colors shot from the birth of a resounding cracking bang, shinning for just a brief moment gems of pure light. I was transfixed and for the first time found myself caught in that moment and i felt my heart lighten and eyes widen. I slept all night when we arrived home, it was a great day and a peaceful night.  
Minn I hope your weekend was the best for you and your hubby. I can see you in the garden pulling a random weed and even feeding your goldfish.

I have not asked you how long you have been on that path without tramadol, but you surely have been strength for me.
Would love to see thoes goldfish a sketch?

Bless you and keep yours safe.
Sandie

[minn66]

I know exactly what you mean! I don't drink near as much coffee as I used to. Maybe one cup every other day or so. I react the same way to action or highly suspenseful shows or movies. I catch myself wringing my hands or holding my breath. Sometimes even watching a sporting event will do that to me, like while I was watching my team in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Ugh! I guess it is just residual effects. I also understand about your art. I have been doing some a bit here and there, but my patience just isn't there.

I have a feeling you will enjoy your trip to Disneyland. It may be just what you need. Get out there and have fun and unleash that inner child!

Have a great weekend,

Minn :)

[artistsandie]

Thank you and it is wonderful when the husbands find what they enjoy in life. Being happy is a key to having a healthy life and less stress, of course keeping busy as well helps. I am still feeling unsettled and not spending time doing my art. Funny how different things affect you while you’re going through this. I have issues with movies that are to active, gets me anxious and caffeine not good at all. I have not been to Disneyland in well over 30 years, so it will be very new for me. We had wanted to do something fun for Annabella before she moves back with her mother as school year is ending now. We will miss her, I will miss all her silly 14 year old girl chatter and drama. Yes changes in life. I hope your weekend is peaceful and you get to enjoy time in the garden with hubby, just so relaxing. Say hello to the goldfish for me.
Sandie

[minn66]

It is funny how things work out. Years ago, hubby had done landscaping for a living under the tutelage of his step father. Later, he got into the corporate world and then a few months ago was laid off. After working where he could, he landed a position with a prominent landscaping company. He actually gets to do landscape design and gets paid pretty well for doing it. The owner is quite impressed with his knowledge of plants and creating hardscapes. He has only been there a month now but I can tell he is very happy, doing something he loves.

Here at home, I am his helper. I actually enjoy weeding, there is a great satisfaction in seeing those weed-free beds. A bit of instant gratification, I suppose. As busy as hubby has been this week, he is antsy to get the last of the pine nugget mulch down. It and pine straw are my favorites.

I filled the bird feeders after I watered this morning. We also have humming bird feeders but haven't seen any humming birds yet. We did see some fireflies last night. A bit early for them here, but we had an early spring.

That area around your hot tub is going to be so lovely and relaxing. It is good that you are keeping busy, and what a reward you will have for your efforts!

Oh, I would love to go to Disneyland! All I have seen of it has been on TV. I hope you have a great time and I would enjoy hearing about it. It just seems so magical.

I hope you have a soothing, relaxing day,

Minn :)

[artistsandie]

Ahhhh,  the nature of humans is to want or regret and not live in the moment I fear. Look at the dog, friend to man and lives mostly in that moment. My Pandora greats me as if she has not done it a thousand times, every car ride is as if it were her first, yes living in the moment. I hope to do more myself as I float between past and future way too much.
I did make it out in the sun today, felt very warm and reviving. I am feeling like a vampire lately with all my nocturnal living, yet I did have one real night of sleep on Tuesday, which gave me a great next say in daylight.  Wednesday I made it to the nursery and managed to get a Japanese maple along with three golden bamboo plants. I also had a great find in Jerusalem sage as well as a blue verity that has such a heavenly scent.  We have a Jacuzzi hot tub and I want to make a privacy screen with pots filled with bamboo.  I missed my Options class, by choice as I was all caught up in getting the plants cared for until I can get them potted.  I also spent some time reading up on manmade ponds as I would very much enjoy a pond with fish.  Of course there will be challenges as at times we have hit 120 here in the summer and that means we need a very deep pond. Of course we can get cold and freeze in the winter, very extreme climate zone.
I love French lilacs and want so badly to gown them, but I fear I have to settle for jasmine. See the nature of the human here and add rhubarb to that list as well. I hope to put in some citrus this year, I have a blood orang in and a mini lemon in a pot. I think some semi dwarfs would be nice and not only bear fruit but add green all year round.
I have a red leaf plum out behind the chicken coop, lovely color. You are blessed with a hubby with a talent with the plants.  Mine just helps me with my yard passion, he is good about lending a hand with all my projects. His gift however is helping his clients and dealing with the issues and to this day he has never lost a battle with the IRS or franchise tax board.  Yes that is his passion indeed, too stressful for me I fear.
We are taking our granddaughter, (Annabella), to Disneyland this weekend, also her girlfriend, I had so hoped I would be past all this. Looks like I was having that, “good day”.  Was the end of this delusion, guess not, but I will hang on and keep working on the day, see Iost sight and looked to the future and not the moment.  
Have a great day and enjoy your peacefulness.
Huggers to you and bless you
sandie

[minn66]

Hi sandie, yes, they are goldfish. Feeder fish, in fact, that we had gotten at Petsmart for eleven cents each! They are happy and have grown and multiplied. Last year was the second year we'd had them and they had babies, and now there are more babies this year. Some of them are silvery white, others black and white, some are solid black, and some are solid gold.

We do have a red Crimson Queen Japanese Maple in front of our bay window. Hubby has had it for about ten years and planted it there before we even got married. My yard was quite barren before he came along. He made the front bed and two smaller ones in the front yard as a birthday gift five years ago.

Behind the storage building there is a lovely red plum tree and since it is shady there, he planted wood poppies, hostas, and several varieties of ferns.

Last year, he made a bed that we call the Heart Shaped Bed. It has a weeping Cherry and a River Birch that was almost dead that he rescued from Wal-Mart and brought back to life. Paper thin strips of bark are peeling from it and gives it unique texture. He also found a thing, flat rock and placed it upright so that it looks like a sculpture.

I am so thankful for this lovely, peaceful oasis in the suburbs. I know I am lucky in many ways. Why is it human nature to dwell on what we don't have rather than what we do? Well, I am working on improving that! I have a lot to be grateful for.

I am looking forward to seeing your pictures and once we get the rest of the pine nugget mulch down I will try to post some myself.

Have a blessed day,

Hugs,

Minn :)

[artistsandie]

Randy, Glad to hear from you I have missed you and was hoping and lighting candles all was well. Yes the depression when it comes is a challenge, yet I am just putting it in my withdrawals symptoms box and just shutting the lid, so to speak.  Yes I can truly and fully empathize with that buggy anxious feeling you’re going through.  As you know it takes time to get past that one, I still have it on and off was better for the first time last night. I managed not to have to take a shower, fist time no showers all night long. Do you have a gym near you Randy?  I have found swimming and the sauna helpful, also am not drinking anything with caffeine in it. I am so happy to see you and know you can get this done and as you know I fully understand exactly how it all feels. You are doing great and on the path to taking back your health.
Have a light out for you and may your journey be more pleasant everyday
Sandie

[artistsandie]

Now you should be a writer as I loved your description of your restful harbor.  I can just see the water making its way into the pond of fish, how soothing. You have large goldfish or are they koi? I have done a few painting of koi. I will have to get them out and post photos for you. Yes photos of your peaceful place would be lovely to look at. My little oriental garden is confined to the patio as we have over three acres and beyond my fenced yard are the horses, chickens and of course Poe. We are over run by rabbits as they come in from the hills as soon as all the wild vegetation has gone brown, our green yard attracts them by the handfuls, a sight from Watership Down, (the book).  I will post photos as well of my peaceful place, still a work in progress.  I made it to the gym last night and had a good swim and nice stay in the sauna as well as my chat with Swim Lady, was good to see her. I had a very unsettling Monday night and was just frustrated with the whole sleeping issue. I am happy to say I found myself in bad last night by 1:23 and slept for most of the night. I was awoke at 8 this morning so I hope to keep moving in this more positive direction regarding my sleep. I have my options support class this evening and look forward to seeing all my classmates. I am going to fit my gym in before I go and maybe even a moment out in the sun, it would feel wonderful to just soak it up.  Have a great day and please tell me more about your garden, I love reading about it and I can just see everything you describe to me. Japanese maple, yes the dark bronzed red leaf, lovely.

[wransomejr]

Oh yeah...the depression got to me and I relapsed last May. Couldn't stand it. I know it is a general part of opiate recovery, but I think it feels more acute with Tramadol. Don't let it get you off track! Sleep issues continue for me too. I did not go weeks with no sleep this time but my sleep is off kilter and I can go to bed feeling fine and wake up at 2AM with the crawlies and have to get out of bed. I just don't let myself get too frustrated. You are doing well so pat yourself on the back and keep on trucking! Peace, friend. -Randy

[minn66]

My goodness, you should be a writer! Are you? I could picture everything you described and it sounds like a paradise.

Our theme is Japanese. We have a statue of a wise bearded man next to one of the water features. Water flows through a fish's mouth into the pool. A green lace leaf Japanese Maple drapes down and almost touches the water. There are Japanese painted ferns, a dwarf Japanese red pine that drops tiny baby pinecones, and day lilies.

The other water feature starts at the base of some large, natural boulders at the edge of the woods. Two dry creek beds wind down the hill. There were natural stone shelves in the hillside that hubby made into a waterfall, which trickles into a pool, which has large goldfish that I enjoy feeding. Where the dry creekbeds meet, there is a Tiger Eye Sumac.

I so enjoy sitting out there just watching or walking around and pulling weeds here and there.

Thank you for your encouragement. I may get up the nerve to post some art. I may also post some pictures of our little paradise. I am grateful to hubby for making the yard so lovely. He has a natural gift for that sort of thing.

Have a wonderful, peaceful day :)

Minn

[artistsandie]

Sounds like you had a great weekend in the company of the nature of your wonderful Garden of Eden.  I can hear your birds just chirping and darting in and out of the water in a bathing ceremony. I too have a water feature, a Buda sits holding a lotus and the water flows from the center of the flower babbling a soothing tune.  I have seen a nut Hatch as he defies gravity on the underside limbs of one of the big elms.  I have not seen him at the feeders, more common the house finches, yet some very nice yellow ones on occasion perch to pick out the seed of their choice before being run off buy another.  I think the most impressive bird is this great white stork who feeds on the grubs in the green planted oat field. At night we are often visited by a huge owl, it glides silently, and then there is a whirl of wings as it picks off a small mouse making its way to the bird feeders.  I have night blooming jasmine growing of the gate arbor and adore the way it perfumes the air when it is in bloom   to sit on the back patio and look over the roses on the fence, there beyond the huge pepper tree and barn the hills rise up rather suddenly and bands of coyotes make their way yipping on the trail of some game they have noised out in the dusk.  You can see their silhouettes on a full moon like we had this weekend, plump and golden and just huge as it hung over the hills on its rising. I am sure you saw that huge moon as well.
It was a mixed bag this weekend, still upside down in sleeping, yet did get sleep. I was able to get a number of errands taken care of outside home. I am back to doing most of the cooking now and that helps me feel grounded.  I spent a bit of time working on healthy meal plan for the upcoming week. We had rock fish for dinner this evening, with green beans and harts of romaine salad. I also made it to the gym and for the first time working on the “Circuit”, trying new and interesting machines. Now some were easy and others were a bit more challenging.  Yet I did explore the, how does this work and what does it feel like. On many occasions while I have been dressing at my locker after my swim and my stay in the sauna a I have chatted with a  young lady who has a locker next to mine. I call her “Swim lady”, it is a meeting that has been as exacting as if we had planned it, then she departs for her swim after we have talked for a bit and as she parts she says, “Have a good evening Sweetie”, at that moment I feel my lips find a smile and am thankful for our meeting as it has lift me more filled with promise and joy.  A small encounter with a person I had not known now lends itself to an expectation of saying hello to swim lady and sharing thoughts on the day along with her advice on my keeping centered on my workout plan.
I hope your week will go well for you, every day I know for myself gets a bit better. Yes please post your work. I would love to see it. I know it is hard at times to share that part of yourself, I always geta little nervous when I post mine.
Sandie

[minn66]

Hi sandi,

I do hope this finds you feeling better this morning. Like you, I sit in my yard and listen to our water features, or walk and smell the flowers. Hubby is very gifted at landscaping and has planted things with a wide palate of color. I have to say my favorite smell, though, is of the wild honeysuckle that grows at the edge of the woods. When I was a child, honeysuckle grew outside my windows. I slept to the whir of a fan in the window and the sweet honeysuckle wafting in. We have several bird feeders in the yard, so many varieties come visit. They also use our waterfeatures as birdbaths. A red fox and his grey mate come drink from them. We have bunnies and squirrels and woodchucks.

My favorite things to draw are people, animals, and flowers. I have started drawing and writing since I have been off work. I just may go ahead and post some pictures. I am kind of shy about it, yet friends tell me my work is good so perhaps I am too critical!

I hope you have a good, relaxing day :)

Hugs,

Minn

[artistsandie]

Thank you again, I am off to Wal-Mart to get what i can find of your suggestions. I have tried the melatonin, but will try it again. I am planning on just being outside as much as I can this weekend. Have horses to care for and maybe putter with the plants. I will also make the gym for a swim. I spent the evening with my hubby and girlfriend, funny she is also my equine vet. We bonded over caring for my horses. Well we went to see the new Avengers movie, was very good and many funny lines as well. I was happy I only had one buggy event while out. Thank you for sending up your prayers. I am trying to get out of this blue haze and is nice to know that is it only part of the process. I was thinking it had to be, yet I had had a bad bought of depression many years back, when I lost my daughter and it took much time to work through that and even medication. SO I was in need of some kind of reassurance it was not rearing its ugly head again.  I am also drinking detox tea, hoping that can help flush this from my body.
Thank you again and my your weekend be the best
Sandie

[atthebeach]

hi sandie,
congrats on your 12 clean days. the depression and sadness is a very common part of w/d. you are doing great. one day at a time. keep moving forward. keep up with the exercise, spending time outside you are healing. have you tried over the counter supplements for sleep. alteril or sleep by nature made, melatonin or valerian root.
keep yourself busy you can get hylands restful leg tabs. they help with the rls and crawling skin.
sending continued hope,faith and prayers
debbie

[artistsandie]

I hit a huge wall of depression today. Again had little sleep and am feeling anxious in more waves today. I have always thought of myself as a strong person, always worked hard not to be weak and just made the best of whatever has come my way. Today well I just feel unsettled and seem to be unable to find peace.  This depression seems to bring up all the issues I have resolved in life and wants to take another look. Does this sound nuts to anyone besides me? Perhaps because I am and have been a very privet person, more of a loner and sharing my time with animals more then humans. Or have built have I just built walls. I have an overwhelming feeling of sadness, it comes in waves for no reason.  I am just trying to keep myself busy, cleaning and such today, do not want to do art, to much time in my head. Ok it is what it is, just one day at a time and move on.

[artistsandie]

Thank you for that information. I have not been Inclined to use any other medications for my withdrawals from tramadol, seems sort of pointless as I may end up in the same boat as I did. I do not want to have this happen to me again, it is like being in a hole and you can see the way out but your body refuses to get up and do it.  Again thank you for your heads up on a replacement drug I think I should just keep on the hard way. I am glad you did not die from that drug.

[theirmommie72]

be careful with effexor.  i almost killed myself coming off of this drug. i too was opening the capsules an counting the spheres.  i finally went to the doc and he gave me xanax for a week to come off of the effexor.  after that week, i didn't look back.  xanax is not my cup of tea.  effexor is evil.  just as evil as tramadol.  remember that.

[artistsandie]

Thank you, I just have no idea about this withdrawal process. Nice to know in time I will recover my sleep and exterminate the darn bugs running on all my nerves.  I feel bad as my poor hubby insists on getting up with me. I Try very hard to be quiet, but he can hear the shower. I went to my class yesterday evening and made it to the gym this evening. I am a bit distracted as one of my horses is ill, Footsie. We have been together for almost two decades. Footsie is an old girl like me, but she has been a good friend. I spent time today brushing her, my first real time at the barn since this all began.
Nice to have a friend on the boards, thank you for being there.
Sandie

[ImDONENoMore]

Hey sandie - I know what you're going through.  I remember those days very well and I promise you this will end.  Time was the main factor that made me feel better - the vitamins/supplements, hot showers, comfort food, walks with my dog, did help a lot, but it took time to sleep normally again, feel less anxious, etc.  And remember, you only need to think about today - don't worry about how you're going to feel tomorrow - you'll deal with it when it comes.  And you'll get through it.  :)

[artistsandie]

Just struggeling the past 12 hours. I can not get much sleep, still buggy more so last night. Took a shower, but did not bring on the sleep. i thought with the hour swimming at the gym i would have some positive effects. Well guess not. I can see why some might go back on tramadol, this buggy feeling is relentless,

[artistsandie]

Day 9 and I made it to the gym this evening. I did a water work out and a few laps for 60 min. I was still a little weak, but assume that was to be expected. I enjoyed the water made me feel more relaxed. My sleeping is still backwards, but i did get 6 hours and it felt good. I have been busy putting up some refrigerator pickles and made a batch of leek soup for dinner this evening. It’s a cold soup and for some reason I am liking things that are cold. Munching down sugar free popsicles like crazy. Funny I am hungry so need to keep my calorie intake in check. Yes day 9 is a better day.

[artistsandie]

I am doing better thank you. Hope to see you my frend this evening. Yes I am still up, just that buggy thing going on :)

Bless you
Sandie

[artistsandie]

Minn, Thank you so much for your kind words. I have some paintings posted on this profile page if you like. Now you need to get back to your art, that creative part of you, it frees you as you know. When I a painting, I feel one with the strokes of my brush, that feel of the paint moving on the canvas is music to my sprite. I love color and light and texture and find myself at times simply holding and object and watching the way the light moves across it as I slightly move it. I was outside today and feeling a bit down hearted as I am not all better yet, my impatience shows at times, I have little for myself.  It was that time of the golden light, just before sunset, when the rays of light take on a deeper warmer yellow color and the shadows are long and rich in purple-blue hues.  A wisteria vine was twining itself around one of the white patio support timbers, its long tendrils swaying ever gently in the breath of oncoming evening. Young tender leaves were a bright translucent yellow green, like stained glass as the last rays of sun shown through them.  I thought to myself about the day and smiled knowing this moment was perfect and I was exactly where I should be. Take the time for the now and I was grateful I did.

Again Minn thank you so much and I hope to see a sketch from you soon.
Sandie