Initially I was addicted to Vicodin, went to an extremely expensive doctor that cost me $500 to see him for Suboxone, and $150 per visit after that. I'm down to about 1/4 of an 8mg tablet of the Suboxone per day, but have not fully stopped taking it. He had me on it for 2 years now. I stopped seeing him as it was too expensive and my ex-fiancee {we *just* broke it off after 5 years in February} insisted that we not pay the doctor's fee and he was adamant about that. He was getting it himself from his friends for a while {he insisted} and then he went to see another doctor that was less expensive {who is not taking new patients}, so we would cut down and split his prescription. I *just* found a new doctor whom is infinitely cheaper and will be seeing him next Wednesday to discuss my finishing off the Suboxone safely... one down.
However... I've been taking Xanax for about a year or so now. It had been prescribed for anxiety at one point, and also b/c I cannot sleep without being medicated as I suffer from Insomnia {I'm now taking Valerian Root to sleep and it helps}, so that was fine... I was taking a 1/2 of a 2mg bar every day. I stopped seeing the doctor again, b/c my ex decided that since his friends had prescriptions that they wanted to sell, he insisted on getting it from them when I preferred to stay w/the doctors no matter what the cost due to the fact that it would be monitored, safe and there was a luxury of knowing we would have it and not get sick; he took it simply for recreation.
In any case, prior to our split {which lasted about 8 months at least - it dragged on & on}, b/c of the tremendous amount of stress he put on me {fighting day in and day out}, I started abusing it and taking 3 2mg bars each day, within a 24-hour period... I attempted to stop cold-turkey over a weekend - I stopped on a Friday, and Monday when I returned to work I felt great! I felt a bit off still, but on my way, sky's the limit and fine enough to grin and bear it. I was quite happy to be free of that demon, so I thought. I then had a seizure at random, was under my desk convulsing in front of all of my co-workers and split my lip open on glass badly; I had no recollection of it, no warning sign that it was coming and had to be rushed to the hospital. They told me that if it happened again they'd have to revoke my license b/c of the seizures and the unpredictability of them. I didn't realize that there was a risk of seizure when you stop taking this medication... No one ever told me.
I now have to rely on my ex to get this medication for me {who is unstable and who constantly switches back and forth from being nice & trying to help me to being nasty and playing head games with me} to get this medication as I cannot seem to find any doctors that accept new patients in the NY area, and am at the end of my rope - I've been in hysterics b/c of this - I just want to be able to see a doctor who will help me. I cannot live like this and need to find someone to help me taper down. The Suboxone withdrawals I have dealt with in the past, and am safely weaning myself down without a problem, but the Xanax is terrible and I cannot find a doctor to assist me in weaning down. I need the prescription to be able to wean down. No doctor will see me for this or give it to me b/c I didn't have a 'trail' so to speak, and I do not know what to do. I cannot do an inpatient deal b/c I have no one to help me out with that. My family is of no assistance as they do not care about it at all, nor do they take it seriously, I have to work to pay my rent and my bills, I have a dog that no one else can take care of and simply need assistance in tapering down. I can then in addition seek therapy and some kind of outpatient counseling, but first things first I need to find a doctor. I've been so stressed that I've been in 4 car accidents within the last 6 months b/c my focus is on this problem, my dependency on this hellish substance and having to rely on my ex. I've been trying and searching but no doctor will help me.
I do not have a regular doctor as I worked as a bartender for 3 years and after that, at this new job it took me 6 months to get insurance that i didn;t even get to benefit from b.c they switched it, and then switched again... they've switched health care on me 3 times since September and I believe they may do it one more time.
I would love to know of any resources for addiction specialists in the Suffolk County, Long Island, NY area who deal with the treatment of Xanax addiction... it seems that everyone on this site has had no issues with finding a doctor whether they had a paper trail of prescriptions or not. I am fully beyond dealing with the emotional/mental addiction, am fully confident that I can & will be able to handle seeking additional treatment for that after the fact and just want this out of my system without waking every day scared to death that I'll not have any medication and seize at random... I want to be on some form of a supervised taper-down. I want to get my life back.
Please, if anyone has any information for me send it my way. I'm desperate to get rid of this addiction.
I also heard that once weaned off of this you can continue to have seizures for months afterward?? Please someone give me some accurate information and any assistance in resources would be appreciated tremendously.
I just want my life back.
Thank you.