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Treatment or Psychiatry?
I just spent an hour trying to ask for help and it's gone. My situaton is have been taking Xanax, Valium, Oxycodone, Morphine and Hyodrocodone for about 20 years. I went to a Methadone clinic and stopped after about a week. I have been prescribed benzos for 20 years, Xanax, Valium and Clonopin. I do not like Xanax but take it because am afraid of having a seizure. This happened 3 weeks after stopping the medicine. I have been diagnosed with Panic Disorder, GAD, depresson and medical problems that require pain meds> i was approached by director at clinc who I moved in with and he, thinking the way to my heart and love was keeping me supplied with medication managed to increase my addiction to a huge amount. I have been taking 10 2mg Xanax a day, approx., on average for the past six months along, with Morphine 30mg 5 to 10 times per day and 15mg Oxycodone for the past 3 years, about 7-10 per day. Prior to the clinic I took 3 5mg Valium 3 times per day. I stopped several yrs ago and had a seizure after 3 weeks without. I have contacted a hospital in KC that says they will detox me, CT, for 3-5 days from everthing without tapering. I know that this is very dangerous and am scared to death. I stopped several years ago usng phenobaritbal which seemed to work a while. I went back to Valium 3 months later. My anxiety and depression has increased to the point of being in bed for the past month. I am in pain from herniated discs and a hip problem. However, in an attempt to feel better, I take more oxycodone. It no longer works. I was raped for 1year, approx, by this guy so I could get my medicine. I blame myself, even though he took advantage of my vulneranilities and knowledge of my situation. I then saw a doctor who prescribed 2 MS Contin a day, 3 5 mg Valium and 5 15 mg Oxycodone. He stopped prescribing after realizing I had a boyfriend, ex now, and sent me on my way. That is when the Xanax started. I am in KC, w/o a job or insurance and scared. I can't taper alone as I have tried. I also feel as though I need the Valium for legitamate anxiety. The pain meds too for real pain that have been shown from the MRI's I have had. I have no idea what to do and am becoming more and more hopeless at times suicidal. I have a 20 year old who needs me but I am unable to do anything it seems. I went from one bad man to another who wrote three books about me, "true stories", I really want it over. I don't know if I should go to sub abuse er, behavioral er or reg er. I am scared. I was once a very productive, person, an educator with dreams. I just need help. Please someone tell me if you know what I should/could do. I have called the National Council, "go to meetings", again, this is where I have met men who take advantage. I will be homeless soon if I don't get help.I want out of KC. I have an ex mother in law in California who I would possibly let me live there. My family will just drop me off at a hospital. I have been selfish and I am ashamed. I need a doctor to help, one who will not just see me as a "junkie"but I dont't know if one will take me. I am a mess. Please let me know what to do because I have no idea. I just want to turn back time and erase so much. I have been told, and experienced that if one goes to the er and tells them about having a seizure from wd they will admit one. This happened several years ago but again, I am uninsured and don't want to end up like this again....ever. Please help me. Thank you. I will do whatever it takes but I can not go through the pain a psycological mess of it all.Please understand. Thank you.
Hi . I read your post and can feel that your both scared. Lost. And completely confused. After reading the list of meds. The hospital detox is your best bet and how do you know its not that good of a place??. Have you ever been thru their detox program ??. Most people that say that say that because they didn't really want to go. Remember the saying you get as much as you give??. I've been to rehab twice. It took me the second time to get it. And now I'm clean. And I was a huge oxy user. What helped me the most when I was in rehab was knowing I was around professional detoxers. I had medical help. I could be sick in a safe place. Without my familys eyes on me. Plus it helped knowing all those other people had the same problem. If you go in with an open mind. Wanting help. You'll be sucessful.
I have major depression and the opiates make me feel better, or so I think, and the benzos take the panic and anxiety away. I am not on anything for the depression and I am afraid they will not admit me and I will remain in bed forever. I have lost 4 jobs over the last 6 months and can't seem to do anything. I am mean and paranoid. I lost my dad at 16 and started drinking quite a bit stopped at 27. Then at 30 came the benzos, antidepressants and opiates. Now I just don't know. I have suicidal thoughts. Yes I do have a mental illness but I don't know what it is, the addiction, loss, depression....all of it. I just can not face "life" right now. I am afraid they will turn me away or just stick me in a room to try to detox me. I have read that a diagnosis should be made about mental illness first and then the addiction should be tackled. This hospital is not that great from what I hear either.
I have been hospitalized in a psych ward twice, once way back I'm high school. Another a few years ago. -- pre opiates. I tend to go off my psych meds, but in between have gotten two college degrees, led a normal life mostly.
There were addicts in my second psych ward. They helped them immensely. So, really, it may come down to you. Do you think you have mental issues? Caused by something other than the drugs?
My stays were long. 6-8 weeks. But I needed them. What does your head and heart say?
There were addicts in my second psych ward. They helped them immensely. So, really, it may come down to you. Do you think you have mental issues? Caused by something other than the drugs?
My stays were long. 6-8 weeks. But I needed them. What does your head and heart say?
Thank you so much. What would you do? I don't know if i should go to sub abuse or the psych ward. I am so scared and don't want to do this.I am getting older and have wasted my life. I have heard terrible things about both but honestly just want to be put under for the entire wd time, which could be weeks!
Me again....does anyone know a doctor in Kansas City that would help me taper? I can not do it on my own and would need prescriptions written 1 week at a time. I really can not go through what I have in the past. It has just baan one failed attempt after another. Thank you agin.
I went and the site and it is unfortunate but the hospital that is involved with the "hill Burton Act" is the one where all of my problems increased. Do I have to stay in this area or can I go to another state? I may have to go to the hospital I mentioned but what is the lilelihood of them keeping me on or tapering me from Valium? I have to move though because he is continuing to destroy me. What is a mental hygiene warrant? Thank you so much. Also, my profession, I worry, as an educator would be ruined if this became public knowledge. I pray for terminal illness.
Let's take this one problem at a time. Valium use over the long term is not that hazardous, Decades ago it was prescribed as a first-line drug for epileptic siezures and handed out like candy before the DEA got involved and classed it as a schedule one drug. I think is is a very good drug inappropriately stigmatized because it does become addictive. As far as the chronic lumbar pain this is caused by glial cell inflammation which does not respond to opiates. You have an opiate addiction which is nothing to be ashamed of. I dislike the term "junkie". It is very easy to get hooked on opiates. You need to go through a professional detox program. There are many available for those without means. I suspect you need something more than "meetings". Look on the Internet for "Hill-Burton Act" Hospitals in your area that have opiate addiction programs. Under this act the hospital will provide free treatment for a certain percentage of patients in return for federal subsidies.
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