I haven't been on here in about a week since I have joined. I have been too embarassed because I haven't been doing good at all. Tomorrow is going to be a new day. I am going to my best friend's apt. in another state for a week. I have one subutex left which I might take a tiny piece tomorrow but that is it. I don't really want to even take the sub, since I haven't taken it in a few days and I know how long the half life is. I have been taking the roxi's instead, and I think it might be a little easier if I don't put any more subs in my body, but I don't know!!! I know there has to be some subutex still coming out, since I been taking them for so long. The last time I took one of those was about 3 days ago. I realized I can't do anything at home so I figured to go away for a week will be really good. It will be much easier because I told my family that I am just going to her house for a mini get away, so no one will be bothering me! My best friend (Vanessa) is being really supportive too. I told her everything I was going through, and she told me she will help me with whatever I need. I told Vanessa that she just has to keep me positive, and motivate me. To have her here for me is the best feeling. I told her that when I feel horrible, and not wanting to do a thing, to try to get me outside for a walk, take a shower, etc. I am really scared because at this time tomorrow I won't be feeling good, but I have done it before and could do it again. Today was my last day of using and I can't wait to start new. The thought of having to live my life like this makes me want to end my life, and I realize I want to do to many things in my future to end it. I want so many things, and I know I am thinking too far ahead, but I can't wait to start my journey. I have wasted so much time being a slave to these pills. I just want this to be behind me, and I didn't even start yet. I will try to get on here when I am at Vanessa's house, if I can get off of the couch. Coming on here and joining this site, has been inspriational to me. To see other people going through, or had gone through the same exact thing, it's amazing. Anyone who has read this and wrote to me, I just want to say thank you so much! I hope to get on here in a few days to tell everyone that I am now CLEAN! Just one more question..I have very little money now to get the ingredients to the THOMAS recipe. Can anyone tell me what I absolutely 100% SHOULD get, that is cheap, that will help me?? I wish I saved money to buy everything, but unfortunately I didn't. Any help would be greatly appreciated!! xoxo