Aa
So I wish there was a chat room here to keep me occupied for I have no patience at the moment.
Anyway , day 3 of WDs are kicking in, I feel like a nut and don;t know what to do with myself. These xanax I was prescribe from the hospital are taking the edge off but I just hate the way xanax or any benzo for that matter makes me feel.
But I am doing it this time. I don't care what it takes I just want to be normal. I want to get on suboxone but I think it is just better to stick to my guns and go cold turkey. I did the sub route last summer and was clean from painkillers for 3 months but right when I couldn't get any sub I slowly but surely fell back into the addiction.
I think if I did go the sub route this time, I only want a 2 week script. Either way, this sh.it has got to stop. I will never progress in life and I will always be wreckless and broke. When i am on the pills I am wreckless with my money. It's ridiculous.
I am to the point of where I am having suicidal thoughts just because I have been in this hole for too long now..about 3 years now and faced up and realized my problem half way in and have been struggling ever since.
I am 22 years of age and I had the world in my hands numerous times...over and over again and what do I do? I screw it up because the pills take a hold and dont let go. I could be rich right now.
I dont know what to even do with myself anymore, I am too smart of a person to let my life go to waste. My life is a blur. My life is one big dark room. I think rehab is in store for me but jeez I run my own web design business and help support my mom and sister.
Ive been at this point in the past where I owned a gun and was close to doing it. I dont want to do it though and I am not an idiot but I am at my breaking point.
By the way the hospital didn't do much. They said they offer no detox there and I have to look around for one after the weekend but I am so ready to go be locked up for a couple of weeks right now regardless of anything else.
I'm sure some of you have seen me here from time to time, my old account was deleted but I have been here since 08.
I guess I am just freaking out right now and could use some people to talk to.
Anyway , day 3 of WDs are kicking in, I feel like a nut and don;t know what to do with myself. These xanax I was prescribe from the hospital are taking the edge off but I just hate the way xanax or any benzo for that matter makes me feel.
But I am doing it this time. I don't care what it takes I just want to be normal. I want to get on suboxone but I think it is just better to stick to my guns and go cold turkey. I did the sub route last summer and was clean from painkillers for 3 months but right when I couldn't get any sub I slowly but surely fell back into the addiction.
I think if I did go the sub route this time, I only want a 2 week script. Either way, this sh.it has got to stop. I will never progress in life and I will always be wreckless and broke. When i am on the pills I am wreckless with my money. It's ridiculous.
I am to the point of where I am having suicidal thoughts just because I have been in this hole for too long now..about 3 years now and faced up and realized my problem half way in and have been struggling ever since.
I am 22 years of age and I had the world in my hands numerous times...over and over again and what do I do? I screw it up because the pills take a hold and dont let go. I could be rich right now.
I dont know what to even do with myself anymore, I am too smart of a person to let my life go to waste. My life is a blur. My life is one big dark room. I think rehab is in store for me but jeez I run my own web design business and help support my mom and sister.
Ive been at this point in the past where I owned a gun and was close to doing it. I dont want to do it though and I am not an idiot but I am at my breaking point.
By the way the hospital didn't do much. They said they offer no detox there and I have to look around for one after the weekend but I am so ready to go be locked up for a couple of weeks right now regardless of anything else.
I'm sure some of you have seen me here from time to time, my old account was deleted but I have been here since 08.
I guess I am just freaking out right now and could use some people to talk to.
Hey dude im glad to see you back....I wish the circumstance where better though im sorry to here you have relapsed ...sounds like your well into it and you know the drill
I just want to encourage you to hang in there this is only temporary you will get thew this
try taking a long hot bath I found that helped more then anything ...this time around hook up with a good aftercare support system ...it makes all the difference in the world...once you up to it you might want to check out an N/A meeting or even A/A you will be welcome at ether and there both free....stay strong and true to yourself ...keep posting here for support we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless.....Gnarly
I just want to encourage you to hang in there this is only temporary you will get thew this
try taking a long hot bath I found that helped more then anything ...this time around hook up with a good aftercare support system ...it makes all the difference in the world...once you up to it you might want to check out an N/A meeting or even A/A you will be welcome at ether and there both free....stay strong and true to yourself ...keep posting here for support we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless.....Gnarly
Hang in there.... you are quite far along! Im assuming you are detoxing from some sort of short acting opiate?
If you can, stay away from the sub... that is, unless you are feeling like you are going to go back to using.
Sub got me off my DOC, that is for sure. But after 2 years of sub use, I have finally had enough. I am on day 4 of no subs, jumped off at 3mgs. It hasnt been pleasant, and have had a few down times, but I just keep thinking about the last 4 days that would be wasted if I go back!
Hang in there and keep posting. I know it would help to have a chat here, but if you would like, in the mean time PM me and I can give you my AIM or yahoo messenger ID, and would be more than happy to just shoot the **** with you to get our minds off things.
All the best,
Henry
If you can, stay away from the sub... that is, unless you are feeling like you are going to go back to using.
Sub got me off my DOC, that is for sure. But after 2 years of sub use, I have finally had enough. I am on day 4 of no subs, jumped off at 3mgs. It hasnt been pleasant, and have had a few down times, but I just keep thinking about the last 4 days that would be wasted if I go back!
Hang in there and keep posting. I know it would help to have a chat here, but if you would like, in the mean time PM me and I can give you my AIM or yahoo messenger ID, and would be more than happy to just shoot the **** with you to get our minds off things.
All the best,
Henry
I understand being wreckless with money. I'm 25 and a month and a half ago I had it all. In a blink of an eye EVERYTHING was gone. My habbit wad very expensive and I decided almost three weeks ago that my addiction was costing me everything including my life. The third dat was hell but I made myself with help fron my pushy sister get up and go for a walk. Day 4 I started to see that 'light' that everyines always talking about. U can do this if not day by day take it hour by hour. Congrats on making it this far :)
Wow! Am I jealous that I'm twice your age and just getting clean. You do have the whole world in front of you and maybe a detox is the way to go. Opiate withdrawal is horrid and you need support and to be in a safe place where you can feel ill and get help for it. After a few days the illness will dissipate and you will feel better. Suboxone may be the answer for awhile. You need a support group such as NA or AA to get your feelings out. I guarantee there will be many people who will talk to you and want to help you. Don't worry about supporting your family; you need to concentrate on you. Good luck.
From one who has been through it over and over again.
From one who has been through it over and over again.
Hey Motor city!!!!
You DO have the world in your hands. You are only 22 and are doing something about your problem. Oh how I wish I had your insight to stop mine own at your age and not let it continue for 18 more years.
Day 3 means you're feeling pretty crappy at the moment but it also means that the physical stuff is going to start getting better. It sounds as if you want this bad and that's a GOOD thing because you're going to need it.
The good part???? You only have to do this one more time. There is no shame in rehab if that is the route you choose. Just remember, if you go back to the pills, you will be forced to repeat what you are now dealing with.
Subs should be used as a last resort. They can be helpful but there are also many horror stories on this site about their use and abuse as well. Do your homework on this.
I am sure that nearly EVERY person in the sweaty, chilled, puking, crapping, no sleeping messy hell of wd has considered suicide. Most of us know this feeling. You need to stay distracted and push through it. Keep writing here and many will help. Your current state is only temporary, you WILL start to feel better soon.
Goodluck, you CAN do this,
bob
You DO have the world in your hands. You are only 22 and are doing something about your problem. Oh how I wish I had your insight to stop mine own at your age and not let it continue for 18 more years.
Day 3 means you're feeling pretty crappy at the moment but it also means that the physical stuff is going to start getting better. It sounds as if you want this bad and that's a GOOD thing because you're going to need it.
The good part???? You only have to do this one more time. There is no shame in rehab if that is the route you choose. Just remember, if you go back to the pills, you will be forced to repeat what you are now dealing with.
Subs should be used as a last resort. They can be helpful but there are also many horror stories on this site about their use and abuse as well. Do your homework on this.
I am sure that nearly EVERY person in the sweaty, chilled, puking, crapping, no sleeping messy hell of wd has considered suicide. Most of us know this feeling. You need to stay distracted and push through it. Keep writing here and many will help. Your current state is only temporary, you WILL start to feel better soon.
Goodluck, you CAN do this,
bob
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