WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN??

[rich4dallas]

Hi all,
Been clean ffrom Methadone for 43 days and been clean from everything else but ambien for 15 days..
I started to sleep a couple hours a day about a week and a half ago, I really thought this was a sign of good things to come, but then about 8 nights ago it went NORTH again.. Its been as bad as the first 2 weeks off Methadone when I didnt sleep at all in 2 weeks.. How does something like this happen?? I feel like I will never sleep again.. How is it that my whole body and mind are exhausted but when I try to put my head down I strare at the 4 walls thinking and realizing im not going to go to sleep.. Im also suffering from depression and anxiety.. The depression has nothing to do with wanting to take, but has more to do with the situations and relationships that I built and scared while on Methadone.. I find myself wanting out of realtionship that were built on Methadone and looking to make amends with family and good friend were there was love and truth..I have been honest with my family and friends and confident that we have built a strong soild foundation. so when im ready i will make a hughe effort to get my loved ones back.. But how the heck do you end realations built on methadone that need to eventually soon be ended?? how do I find it in my heart to huurt another person but eventually will be doing the right thing for my self and also the other parties involved?? FYI none of the realtionships im refferring to are doing anything.. any info would help... thank you all...

[gnarly_1]

hey rich....remember me saying this stuff is cyclic your in a cycle you will go in and out of them for the first 90 days then even after that once in a wile....im with Sara NO MAJOR LIFE CHANGES UNTIL 90 DAYs have past your brain chemesty is a mess right now and your not thniking clearly now some things need to change like using freinds need to go places you used need to go and antythying that reminds you of using needs to go even after 6 1/2 yrs on methadone I found myself wanting to use pills again the temptation is there and will be till you put somegood aftercare in place look at the bright side your 1/2 eway there to starting to feel better you said yourself your in it for the long haul this is all part of the struggle remember methadone has its own set of rules that are crule at best but you got yourself into this mess and your donig a great job getting yourself out it just takes time take baby steps as addicts we want it and we want it now....recovery dosent work that way it takes time you learn as you go no one can do it for you it all on you the morev you put in the more you will get out personally I think your doing good your attitude has been good your doing the rigt things now put some major aftercare in plase and work it you will survive this to tell the story I wish you all the best with your recovery come here and vent anytime you need to we all want to see you get well and im certain you will good luck and God bless........Gnarly

[usedtobefunny]

Start listening to books on CD when you go to bed at night. Go buy a cheap CD player from Target and hit up a book store, or you can even download them to your phone or kindle.

My problem is I would lay down to sleep, then I could not stop thinking. Thinking about everything I have done wrong, everything I should have done differently, thinking about why I can't sleep. Thinking about all the stuff I was going to do tomorrow....thinking.

When you are laying in bed at night try to focus on the book on CD. The trick is you cant get a book that is really awesome, or you will want to stay up all night listening. You can't get one super boring or your mind will start wandering. If you pick a good middle of the road book eventually you will doze off. In my experience the laying there thinking will just keep you up later.

[reallyneedhelp76]

I had to laugh when i read the above posts. man both those could have been written by me a month or two ago!!! Sleep loss for me was the worst most enduring w'd symptom, i never thought i'd say this but i'd rather have the anxiety then have to go thru this lack of sleep thing again!! So, yeah, alot of people know but i was taking 30-40 norco 10's a day plus anything i could get my hands on and quit cold turkey. IF you read back on older posts there's got to be hundred of me pleaing for help on why i couldnt sleep.  my experience is this, it just ***** and it's going to last as long as it takes, so relax and just accept sleep isnt going to come until your brain heals itself enough and the chemicals in your brain level out and go back to normal.

Rich4dallas,
as for your relationship with your meth friend?  People might get mad at me for saying this but, i know that your not supposed to make any life altering decisions for a while after you get clean, but in my personal opinion?  I say ditch any relationship that is unhealthy for you.  If the relationship is now a relationship built on shared drug use?  B A I L.  the temptation of being around meth would b way too strong for me and taking a chance at screwin up all the hard work you've done is just sooooooo not worth it.  Yes this person or people are going to feel hurt or disappointed but in the real world if these peoplle were truly your friends they wouldnt b on drugs while around you and would want nothing more for u but for u to succeed.  we can not be healthy and clean while we continue our relationships we built around using now that we are clean so if it was me i'd bail on all relationships that might  possibly relate to your old lifestyle.  As the days go by i realize that in order to be truly a clean healthy person, i need to b just that clean and healthy inside and out, so why wait?  Id start now.  good luck to you and keep posting.

Oh and as for sleeping?  Listen, everyone is different but sounds like your having a hard time like me, so the best advice is this, JUST RELAX, a friend who went thru detox at the same time as me, we both went for SEVERAL week long spurts of no sleep at all and we got so freaking frustrated that i think we made it worse because we were both so stressed over not sleeping.  so just accept that you may not sleep for a while and have a list of stuff to keep yourself occupied DO NOT just sit there and feel crabby because you cant sleep\, that just makes it worse.  SO, i started walking, in the middle of the night or dqay, when i got frustrated i went for hoours of long walks to tire myself out and i joined the gym.  best of luck to both of you!

[AZ_Cards]

Wow so close enough to day 17 at 5am here AZ time and the insomnia has hit really bad tonight. Can’t sleep at all just switching from couch to my bed trying to switch it up or not lay in one place too long getting frustrated from not falling asleep. Then back to these forums for support and like symptoms, experiences, or issues. Tomorrow will be interesting day at work since, or due to lack of sleep. Funny or strange thing is has a super long day rode mtn bike in morning, long day of work, and then had Bday dinner for my 16 year old daughter and surprised her with her first car. Maybe the nervous thoughts of her being regular drive now doing it lol, but I think it’s more the Methadone and my body adjusting. Wow this drug so powerful and the wd's so long and drawn out and I am only day 17 of hell, but it is a good and happy thing since I am 17 days free, and not turning back. I will never be on the liquid handcuffs again no matter how bad it gets. Daughter’s first car decent for her first, nothing new or fancy lol just a reliable vehicle for her... Made a contract for her with allot of rules and regulations also that she had to sign, and that must be followed and adhere to so that calms my nerves. Just crazy for me this lack of energy, and motivation combined with insomnia. It’s like I have no energy or mojo but then when finally can just lay there or sleep fng cant. So frustrating, but it is painfully obvious to me and all you others out there this is what you are going through. We will make it though and I think of all you out there going through the same sh it and I will send positive vibes and thoughts your way. Ok going to lay down and try and get some resemblance of sleep bfr my day starts tomorrow.

[AZ_Cards]

Hey dude, just wanted to say you are very inspirational seen your posts on here the last few weeks. I myself am on day 16 well tomorrow at 5am will be day 17 of Methadone and knowing that others out there close to where I am at is comforting. I too having allot of problems sleeping, and when I do I wake up every hour or 40 minutes, so it’s never solid sleep. Also fng dreams are so strange and crazy. I have been using Melatonin and xanax sparingly since don’t want to get a benzo problem, but just have to have some sleep to function at work at as high as level as I can. I can’t jeopardize my career and have not taken any time off during this hell. Still having solid headaches but I do have an appetite although stomach is still having issues. For me the big issue is the dam lack of motivation and energy. It’s like a monumental task to do small normal things, and especially at work just like so hard to get going, and I am so slow at tasks that use to be so quick and easy. Also very hard to do anything after work since I am just drained from putting on the happy face and trying to work or appear totally normal at work. Can let my production slip although I am sure it has just fact but the energy lack, or crash and no motivation is what is killing me. But I do feel ya on the lack of sleep or not having good restful sleep for sure. I am just staying positive and know that each day that goes by more time is getting in-between my last Methadone dose which was 8/13. See my other threads or posts for background if you like. So happy to be free of the liquid handcuffs and no dam lock box walk of shame lol, but this is tough but as you know we are getting our freedom and I am staying positive but you sure have to man up on this withdraw for sure. It’s not for the weak and you have come so far. Stay strong brother!!!

[dominosarah]

They usually say not to make any major decisions with relationships for at least a year but if it is wearing on you this bad then you are going to have to be honest with this person.  It is all about saving ourselves now.  I am sure that is causing alot of anxiety at the moment.

I hope the sleep issue will straighten out for you soon.