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Waking Up

After quitting drugs we are covered in this deep fog and confusion wondering how can we get and stay clean and how can we ever be happy again without using drugs. The pain of w/d's then all the mental stuff brings many back to relapse after a short time because they don't believe or have faith in the recovery process. After my countless relapses, i can see I never made it far enough to heal. I used to think a week clean I should be back to normal, lol. Besides our bodies healing, the biggest impact is how our brains heal and begin to rewire themselves, how our thinking patterns change and we start to believe in ourselves and self doubt fades. There will come a time shortly after you stop using and begin to heal, that it hits you like a tonne of bricks. That reality took me a month of being off drugs to happen and when it did it was overwhelming. I can't even explain it, but I am sure ya'll know what I am talking about? For those of you that have experienced this it felt almost like a rebirth, like something came over us and we woke up. This is when my recovery began. It took me a full month to even believe in myself, but now I have all the confidence in the world, I will never go back. My thinking patterns are completely different now, I no longer look to get high when I am stressed or sad and to me that is a minor miracle.  Did you have a defining moment after quitting when you experienced those overwhelming feelings that made you ball your eyes out? Did all those feelings hit you at once like they did me? How long did it take for that fog to lift after quitting? BE HONEST, at this point are you confident in your recovery and staying clean?



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Avatar universal
yea i was clean twice since i last talked with u once for about 9 days and than about 4/5 days i dony kno i thnk it may be more mentall than physicaal but both are def there as u kno and yea im still on em as we speak i keep sayn this is the last day or last handfull but it just like a briken record ya kno
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Avatar universal
Hi jt, at least your still trying, but as you know it's extremely difficult at first. I would like to see you get over that hump. How long did you make it clean? Do you think it's more the w/d's or the mental aspect keeping you from staying off them, probably both I guess. Are you still using right now? I won't give ya a hard time, lol. Are you still in contact with those offerting you pills? Sorry for the questions.
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Avatar universal
I used daily for over twenty years and I took longer then a month to feel well- Someone earlier mentioned PAWS- I remember I cried everyday for the first 2 or 3 years but I stuck it out. I got 9 years last month and I have felt things like love, hope, joy, forgiveness, peace, satisfied. I never felt these when I was using. I have accomplished goals I never even thought to dream while using.
If your life seems to get worse without alcohol or drugs in it you might have a problem-find a program and stick it out-it does get better. Even your worse day clean is is better then your best day using!
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Avatar universal
Your are so right about that fog. I'm only on day 4 and today I feel soooo good. The 1st 2 days were the worst, yesterday was better and today I took a walk on the wild side....I got dressed and took our 4 dogs for a walk in our woods. I walked out to take the trash out and I was like WOW, it felt so good outside. I just stood for awhile looking around at my own yard. All my fruit trees are blooming, spring is coming...I can't really remember much of Monday & Tuesday. I slept about 7 hrs last night...I'm only drinking green tea (UGH) and water. I have no appetite, but I am making myself eat fruit bars,garnola bars and special k cereal. I am taking B12 and multi vits starting yesterday. I AM SO HAPPY...I am still a little tired but much better....I think I make really break out and drive today. The weird thing is my ole buddy hydro got me high the first couple of months,but after that I just kept taking it to get me going. Is that weird? I tried taking 3&4 at a time just to try to get the buzz....didn't work. I tried to quit in Dec, wds stopped me real fast...But in Feb. I made a plan, with a stop date....and so here I am....I WILL make it....Whats so stupid is when I was young I did any thing I wanted to do and never got addicted to any thing...I never tried the real hard stuff...just speed, pot, **** like that and drank a LOT. I don't know what happened to me last summer, guess I just lost my damn mind...But I got it back now and thats how it will stay...Thanks Grizzly...
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Avatar universal
whats up been a while since i talked with ya and man i really wish i could feel that im doing the same as usual here likeu u said in the first week or so u grab for what u kno when ur stressted ot sad or mad whatever and i just cant seem to get past that first week or so. but after reading i want that uplift and fel like that without these lil pills and when i get to that point ill be sure to write my experiences im actually looking forward to writing when i realized the fog lifted but as of rite now im in a storm and i aint seeing so well. talk u later gizz
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Avatar universal
i agree 1 month then as reality came back my emotions were all  over the place and yes it felt i was reborn also now im having good days mostly and  not many bad days now each day that goes by a feel better and feel as though im winning and i really feel now that im confident i will never go back as iv never been this far before i realise i too hadnt been long enough clean before to realise its not just becoming physically clean that made me think i had overcome my addiction but i know now it takes longer than that i have also faced trials that at one time would have made me go back and take something just to get rid of the bad feelings that also was about after 3-4 weeks. i cried my eyes out but realised i didnt need drugs to cope with life which gave me confidence that i didnt think i had left so i now know that i dont need the drugs and can cope with things so i am very confident but will never let my guard down in my recovery
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