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1542320 tn?1293219839

What is there to do?

What is there to do when you feel as though every wall around feels like it's slowly closing in on you? As though you have no where to run to anymore? Well that's how i have been feeling for the past few months, and just until 3 days ago, was i able to confide within my parents and tell them the truth they've been waiting to hear for the past 9 or 10 months... "Mom i'm addicted to heroin." I felt like i was fighting a war, but the war wouldn't stop, and somehow it would always win. I had to tell someone, other than the people i was used to getting high with, because they honestly don't give two rats a$$e$ about you. I needed people who honestly love me to know i have a problem, and i want to STOP! I know this isn't much of a question, but im 18 years old, i feel like getting all this out of my fogged up mind is the best way to start my recovery towards sobriety. i am currently 3 days clean, from being an everyday user of heroin. yeah, getting sick blows..yeah, temptations SUCK! Everything about detoxing blows...All i know is that i'm obviously not the only person going through what I'm going through. Thank you for listening to me vent, and feel free to share. i feel as though talking to people going through the same thing as myself will definitely benefit all of us! The more you put into recovery, the more you get out!
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Welcome to the forum and congrats on 3 days clean now. I am glad you have told your family about this cause our secrets keep us sick. How did your family react when you told them? Are you willing to get some type of recovery care to stay clean, H is a tough drug to kick, but there are many success stories here. Staying away from those friends that use is a must.

Your so young with your whole life ahead of you and taking care of this now will save you a lot of pain and grief down the road as addiction is progressive. Stick around this is a great support group with a lot of caring people. You have given yourself the best Christmas gift by stopping:) One day at a time! Good luck and Merry Christmas
271792 tn?1334979657
Hi & Welcome,

Just so you understand, you posted this same question in the Addiction Social forum so check there for answers there as well although this is really the best place to be discussing this as it does pertain to addiction.

Congrats on Day 3---that is hump day for most and you should begin to feel better physically by the morning.

I have to suggest that you do some reading about addiction and you may begin to understand that it is a disease that effects us mentally as we act out physically. I hope that made sense. Those feelings you are having that everything is closing in on you are normal at this stage. You have been self-medicating and numbing yourself and now your feelings are at the surface and they are hard to deal with.

I am so happy for you that you told your family. Now, can they help you get into a recovery program or in to counseling? Putting down the drugs is a step in the right direction but next you need to heal and that starts when you begin working on the issues that caused you to use drugs in the first place. Maybe something traumatic happened when you were younger, maybe you have feeling of inadequacy. Whatever it is, you can address it and you can get better.

I hope that you will consider it. You are young and have so much to look forward to. I am glad you found your way here, hang around and listen to the members who can share their experience, strength and hope with you.

Hang in there!!
Avatar universal
Congratulations on 3 days !! as IBKleen said you are on hump day and will be feeling physically better soon.. I'm very Happy for you that you told your family as we need to be accountable to those we respect and those that love us.. when the walls were closing in on me I would go for drives. sometimes they lasted days as I needed to feel the outdoors to help to clear my mind. attending meetings may also be a good idea for as addicts our social life usually revolves around others the use and getting support from other clean addicts would go a long way in giving you strength to fight your war.. for a war it is and you need all the ammunition at your disposal.. A positive attitude that you are doing the right thing goes a long way in making those walls beck off.. exercise walking and hot showers make a world of difference You are on the road to regaining your life back and I wish you the very best on your journey.. lesa
822153 tn?1333062995
Hi there and welcome!! We're all here for some form of addiction or another from pills,H,coke,etc. so we have all been there before. Congratulations on your 3 days of sobriety!!!So proud of you!!Pretty soon 3 days will turn into 3 weeks,then 3 months,etc.,etc.And trust me,it will IF you are serious about wanting to quit. You did right by telling your folks about your addiction. As you said,the people you party wih don't care about you.Just your $$.How did they react when you told them? Is there any thought to aftercare-a facility at all where you could go short or long term to get you on the right path?This forum is a Godsend for myself,and others. Like a lot of people I stumbled upon it by sheer luck...was needing something to help me quit and suddenly this website popped up on my computer. Since being a memeber,I have quit my DOC (coke) and have relapsed 2 times within a year&half's time. I am now 1 month and 2 days clean and sober from my last relapse. Prior to relapsing I had almost a year under my belt. So you see,it can happen REALLY easily,so be sure to always keep your guard up,and stay strong. If you did it for 3 days,you can do it for 4. Sorry for such a long response,lol!!PM me anytime..please stay here with us-read the health pages,as well as others posts.Ask questions,but stay strong my young friend.You have your whole life in front of you!!Have a great holiday season and if you start craving,get on this website!!!Take care of yourself,and here if you need me!~Anne
1542320 tn?1293219839
first and foremost i would just like to thank all of you for responding. it truly does mean a lot to me. the same question im seeing from everyone is how did my parents respond. obviously every loving parent wants to help their child, and nurture them when they need it. my parents are very supportive during this time, my dad actually suggested that i start to post on here, instead of NA meetings. i kind of have to agree, although ive been to about 2 meetings since i started using, but meeting do nothing for me. at least on here we can all speak openly, and not have to worry about a face to face judgement. im obviously taking this one day at a time, but i need to do this for myself, before anyone i do it for anyone else. im feeling pretty good, my mind is starting to clear and @10356 the outdoors is the one of the few things keeping me sane at the moment. the night i told my parents, they took me to get evaluated at a hospital for a detox program, but the case worker said because i wasnt withdrawing at the moment, that the Dr. would except me in their program. i'm actually kind of glad, because i think being locked up in a building with other addicts would be quite counter-productive.  im done rambling, but like i said thank you everyone for responding, and feel free to talk whenever you guys want to, im here for ya' too!
1542320 tn?1293219839
the doctor WOULDN'T***** except me into the program
1405544 tn?1331918701
Hey:) Welcome to the forum. Glad you have a family who is supportive and I am so proud of you for stopping. You are so young, and drugs will take you down a long road that will only get harder. Hiding from feelings only works for so long. Eventually the drugs stop working and all that crap you blocked while on them starts to resurface. Sounds like you're going through the start of it with the walls feeling like they are closing in.

Here's the thing. There's a reason we get addicted in the first place. Quitting is hard, but what will be even harder is staying clean. You're going to need some form of aftercare. This place is a great place to be. I hope you stay here and read and post as much as you can.

I know NA didn't seem to work for you, but would you be able to see a therapist/substance abuse counselor or something? We have to figure out what got us here and change that part of us. It's our minds, how we think and react to life and situations that got us where we were.

I am a cocaine addict. I started when I was about your age (though I drank and had other stuff going on even before that). I used coke for 15 years, and tried to stop repeatedly but always relapsed. I always tried to quit on my own, with no outside help. And I stuck around the same people and places from when I used. That's the other thing you're going to have to do. Avoid those people and places, period. It's too easy to let your guard down in those same situations.

Anyways, this is now the longest I've been clean, and this place and NA is what has kept me that way, no doubt. Being able to reach out and talk to people who have what you want (sobriety) and understand where you're at is key.

Ok, sorry for such a long post, lol. I tend to ramble. Hope you stick around:) Congrats on getting clean!
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