Why am i addicted to everything, and is there a balance?

[idul]

I am a 34 year old male, I started abusing anything i could get my hands on at about the age of 13, tobacco, marijuana, alcohol, prescribed adderall and ritalin, etc.. at 14 i switched to bigger stuff... I learned to freebase cocaine with my dad, I started taking robotusin, trazedone, percs, whatever I could get my hands on. By 20 I was comboing mushrooms, ketamine, mdma, acid, etc. Eventually I was even deported from a foreign country I was living in for trafficking ketamine and mdma. The biggest addiction for me was alcohol.. I consumed it in massive quantities from sun up to sun down, at work etc along with whatever was around. During all those substances I was always able to take more longer than anyone around me and was good at getting it cheap or free while maintaining a very healthy athletic physical body. In 2009 I quit everything, I couldnt take the idea of ruining a possible future childs life because of my addictions. I didnt suffer from any withdrawals, attend counsel or meetings, and I have never relapsed. I do not think I will ever turn to substances again, however I find that I am addicted to anything and everything I have the slightest interest in. I picked up photography and changed my career path to allow me months off at a time to travel and purchase photo equipment and spent 8-14 hours everyday taking photos processing them etc.... this went on for about 4 years, then one day i picked up a video game... I logged 5,800+ hours on one game in 2 years along with the dozens of others i played, i bought every high end piece of equipment available to feed the addiction. During this time I have done well at work because I can autopilot myself and work continuously for a long periods without complaint. I am married have a house, car, kid on the way etc. But I cannot understand why I become addicted to everything I find of interest, from games to travel, to substances, to drawing.. you name it. I was diagnosed as a poly addict from a doctor while pursuing help for insomnia without taking drugs. I have found that in between addictions I am very restless, I cannot focus, my emotions become very difficult to handle... I could tear up from seeing something or become very angry for little reason etc. I am sure that some of this comes from a bad childhood but I do not want to accidentally pass on these traits to my kid or hurt anyone around me. Is there a way to channel this, or stop it? I am against medications of anykind.. I refuse to turn to pills for help. If anyone has any advice or can relate I appreciate it. thank you.

[gnarly_1]

Hi and welcome to the forum...I couldent agree more whole heartedly with jifmoc  long after the drugs stop where still stuck with the addict in our heads......you need to treat the addict that lives inside you  N/A has a great progam it treats the addict  by going to meetings  working the 12 steps you can break the chains of active addiction (whats going on inside your head now)  it will give you a new life free from compulsions and obsessions and teach you a new way to live...now you can keep doing what your doing driving you and those around you nuts  of take the steps to clear your head google a N/A meeting near you..........Gnarly

[jifmoc]

Hi, idul. Welcome. Love the honesty in your post. You sound identical to the shares I hear over and over and over at meetings. Drugs are a symptom (or the solution) for the restless and issue-laden brains we addicts have. When we don't treat it, we just find another and  then another substance to feed out addictive brain. Anything: food, video games, porn, sex, shopping, co-dependency, sugar and on and on. You haven't treated your issues, so you keep medicating yourself. Aftercare (meetings) were the thing that helped me really address, deal with, a calm down my thinking. I was very resistant at first, but was sick of enough of myself finally to do something different. Instead of the same thing over and over and wonder why I still felt crazy.

Stick around. Great and smart people here will be chiming in.