So I've been prescribed both 30mg Adderall and 60mg Vyvanse for 4-5 years now. I used to be able to take it normally, one 30mg a day in the morning, and if needed a Vyvanse mid afternoon to get me through the rest of the day. A couple years ago I found myself abusing it. More and more every time. I couldn't stop. I would go 2-3 days with no sleep (terrible I know). It ended up costing me basically everything. I hit rock bottom and despite knowing the reasoning why I was failing life, I continued to take it. Eventually I got back on track but it seems I'm stuck in a constant cycle. I'll do great for awhile, take it responsibly as prescribed. I'll end up with a good job, stay on track until one day I just randomly decide to binge again. 2-3 days of no productivity, calling into work, ditching friends and family. End up losing my job, fall into depression and repeat the abuse of the drugs for another month or two until I decide it's time to get my life straight.
I really don't know what to do, it's the cause of everything wrong that happens in my life. When I'm off it or taking responsibly, I do so well. Why in the hell can I not recognize this success and stop those temptations. Should I cancel the prescription completely? Please help me.