Why do I still want to score when I feel ok

[Bonny_T]

I'm now on a methadone script so i don't rattle. But still I'm drawn to the dealers for w and b. I just want to have the strength to see sense and to realise it's just wasting hard earned wages.

[georgem1956]

Addiction is being re-imaged as a disorder. It's now being called Substance Use Disorder. This is a means of distancing the stigma of "addiction" from the disorder that drugs cause. There is a spectrum of substance use disorder starting from those people that get sick from various drugs and can't understand the attraction to those that crave it, even after detox. You are at the "crave" end of the spectrum. I'm drawing from the following presentation found on YouTube, by Dr. Kevin McCauley May 4, 2018 "The Brain and Recovery: The Neuroscience of Addiction".  What is happening according to Dr. McCauley, is your brain's response to high releases of dopamine have produced a release of glutamates in response  which in turn have imprinted, perhaps permanent, a "survival"  memory pathway in your brain causing intense cravings.  Your disorder has taught your brain that it cannot survive without this continuous flood of dopamines. This doesn't happen to everyone, but to those it does, makes managing the disorder that much more difficult.

Do as I did, search YouTube and the internet and study what is happening and try to find some answers and hope to deal with the disorder.

[Bonny_T]

Hi and thanks for your reply. It does make sense what you say. Could you please give me an idea of what to search for on YouTube and the web I mean is it just addictions and the brain etc?
Thank you.

[Bamame]

Hi,
Because addiction is a disease Point Blank it's a disease. Just remember you have to do this day by day. Good luck. Sending you positive vibes.

[Bonny_T]

Hi thanks for your reply. I don't want to score everyday I don't need to but still I feel they is no control once money is in my bank. I feel very anxious when I have money. I guess I have to just try and stop. Really try.

[motye51]

I have to ask...I'm not for drug replacement therapy, as I got suckered into the same thing and was on subs for almost 7 years.  However, I can see where it's necessary in certain cases for detox.  Once the drugs are out of your system and your no longer sick...............what are you doing?  Have you changed anything? Are you still associating with the same people, places and things?  Are you working on changing your coping skills (for me, getting some coping skills).  I'm wondering why people think that just stopping the drugs is going to make all of our drug addict behavior's go away.  You HAVE to do something different for anything to be different.

[georgem1956]

Watch this, it tells you why you're struggling and what to do about it. To sum it up, you're struggling with true addiction and you need a support group to help with your recovery.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYphZvRHm6Y  - Dr. Kevin McCauley May 4, 2018 "The Brain and Recovery: The Neuroscience of Addiction".

[georgem1956]

this is responding to bamame - The disease model of substance use disorder is being rethought (stephen laviolette - "Finding the Brain's Addiction Switch" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTtfTXg1Twg ). Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, founders of AA, without any science to support it, coined the phrase "Alcoholism is a disease", and the phrase took off and was widely accepted and applied to all addiction behaviors. Getting insurance companies to cover treatments for addiction was part of the "disease" agenda. Thank goodness it worked!

Diseases actively attack the body causing eventual failure of part or all of the body under attack. Drugs systematically disorder the brain by intention (prescribed medications) or otherwise (self medications). Dr. Kevin McCauley, a long time advocate of the Disease model, is now using "disorder" more and more in his lectures.

There's nothing wrong with it being a disorder. If you watch any of the latest discussions on addiction on youtube you'll see how disordered the addict's  brain has become.

[Toniedwards]

you need to seiver all ties between yourself and the people you are scoring from change your number loose theirs