Wife is in recovery, I am in depression

[lonely_husband]

My wife has been clean for 29 days today after a 3 year pain pill addiction initially caused by a neck / shoulder injury.  She is so unattached to me physical and emotionally right now that it is killing me, yet she tells me I have to adjust or she will leave.  Our sex life was always very healthy and now it is pretty much non-existent.  She never reaches out for me to give her a hug, a kiss, or anything except for me to rub her shoulders.  She is also starting to pull away emotionally as well and no matter what I say it gets me no where.  

Can anyone give me some advice???

[Addict4toolong]

Hi Lonely. I feel for you and your wife...I was your wife. I was addicted to pills and went through detox while I was married. I guarantee you your wife feels so much guilt for what she is putting you and your family through that her energy is spent pretty much hating herself right now. It will get better. 29 days seems like a lot, but she was addicted for 3 years so this is a huge adjustment for her. And she doesn't have pills to help her cope with her emotions. I know this is hard on you, but the only thing you can do now if wait it out and continue to be supportive. Your wife will come back to you and she will be so grateful.

Please stay on this page. We will support you and offer you ways to support your wife. And as a wife who didn't have a supportive husband when she needed him, I THANK YOU for sticking by your wife.

[Sonrissa]

Hi lonely_husband, and welcome to the forum! I agree with tooter. Please try to hang in there and continue to be supportive to your wife. She has bee going through a lot both physically and mentally. It will take some time before she acts and feels completely normal! It will get better for sure.

There is another forum on this site called: Living with an Addict. You may want to post there. You will get replies and support from people who are in your similar situation. I wish you the best, and thank you for standing by your wife as she gets through this process! Take care!

[tooter212]

Hi Lonely, I'm 10 days clean and I go from loving to almost hating and feeling sorry for myself in a matter of minutes. Just hang in there with her and she will be more loving than ever! Her emotions are all over the place right now. I'm sure she is in pain also. Thanks for your post, we sometimes forget the caregiver. God knows we need you!!!!  God Bless you and give you comfort