antidepressants during taper?

[Ginger7]

Hi,

5 months ago I attempted to go cold turkey off oxycontin. Depression is what landed me in this addiction in the first place, but physically, I was fine. I rarely get sick and am in fairly good shape. The first 4 days of quitting were rough, but what I expected. Then things got worse. I didn't know what depression WAS until then. Also, (coincidentally??) I was very ill by day 11, with severely swollen glands and had developed a lump in my breast. That broke me. I went back on the pills at a lower dose which relieved some of my symptoms - allowed me to function more or less. Saw a Doctor about glands and had a mamogram. Dr. gave me some antibiotics, told me to come back in 3months for another ultrasound and sent me on my way. I go for my follow up mamogram and have a Doctors appointment Tuesday.

If everything goes well, I am going to ask for an antidepressant and try to quit again, tapering this time. I'm really scared. I feel like I haven't been "right" since my CT attempt. Like it sent me into a black hole, and even going back on the pills hasn't gotten me completely back. I'm really, really scared of my depression getting even worse. I have no idea if my physical symptoms - swollen glands and lump - were purely coincidental or what.

Has anyone else used antidepressants while tapering? And/or has anyone else developed a seemingly unrelated illness during quitting?

Any info or advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm really worried. Also want to say thanks for this forum - reading some of your stories and posts has been a godsend.

Thanks

[Ginger7]

Thanks so much to both of you - This is SO much tougher than I thought. It really plays tricks on you, doesn't it? Hopefully I'll get a clean bill of health this week and then I'll decide what to do from there. Last time, I was completely convinced I was going to die, and the only thing that kept me going was that logically, I understood that my feelings - physical AND mental - were wd symptoms. When I developed swollen glands tho, I almost lost my mind and the thin rope I was hanging onto just snapped.

I have to say in my case, the doctor hasn't been helpful, but I've only seen her twice so that could be why. Never had a family doctor before because I never got sick. I guess I'm going to be making up for lost time over the next few months.

Patience - I will be praying for some :) I give you all so much credit for doing this. I quit drinking a few years back and thought THAT was tough - it was nothing, NOTHING like this. That was physical and predictable. My head felt better as I quit. Pills tho - wow. Way tougher mentally. No one can understand, I guess, until you've been there.


Thank you so much

[Sjoggie]

I was on an antidepressant while trying to taper and every time I would start a new taper I would hit major depression and be crying and a mess.  My doc even upped the  antidepressant which did not help a bit.

I found I had to wait until I was stable on the drop before trying another drop.  Of course, at the rate I was going it was going to take a year to get off the oxy and percocets.

You may find the antidepressants work but I would try the antidepressant first to see if you get major side effects from it.  Some antidepressants bring their own depression.  I tried one of those and it made me so depressed I didn't dare take another one, and then, of course, you get to withdraw from the antidepressant which can be a problem.

This is just my experience and as SophieShine said talk with your doctor.  What works for one will not necessarily work for someone else.

I wish you the best.
Lizzy

[SophieShine]

Hi Ginger and welcome to the forum.
We all are all extremely impatient after quitting our DOC, we wanna feel "normal" as soon as we quit. You have to realize that your body and brain are used to function with an opiate now and it's gonna take you a while to get back to normal.
Your brain is gonna play tricks on you to convince you of the fact that you cannot live w/o the pills, and you wouldn't believe the mean ways it has...
I was addicted on benzo, one of the only drug you can't quit CT, I had to taper 2 of them and I still am busy with one... You have NO idea how hard it is coz the temptation is there at any time. I really wish I could have gone CT on them... Tapering is an everyday struggle, you really have to make a plan and stick to you no matter what.
For the wd's symptoms, you did good by checking at your dr but you wouldn't believe what our brain is capable of... I had really crazy wd's symptoms, like toothache or migraine to hit my head in the walls, flu symptoms, all kinds of crazy stuff...

AD's are an option, don't forget tho that, it take about 3-6 weeks for them to kick in and some have weird side effects or don't work at all. Be aware that finding a good AD is not a walk in the park. We're all different ppl and we all have different reactions to meds.
So if you wanna go down that road, talk to your dr about it and don't expect to find the miracle pill, there's none. Depression is a part of the process of getting clean as the emotional roller coaster is. It's just the chemicals in your brain that have to re-adjust.

PATIENCE would be my advice and don't let your brain fool you, you did quit for 11 days, it's very little time for your brain to recover and for you to feel normal again.
Best of luck to you.
sophie