bad day

[BearsFan1966]

day 83 and really struggling today! Feeling very down and depressed today. I know I just need to get threw the day...
Having anxiety bad today also. Maybe its the weather here today no sun. =( I hate feeling like this and when I do it seems like its a invitation for my son to be a complete little butt! He had the nerve to ask me what I did around here! WOW he is only 14..I knew well enough to walk away and go outside or I would of killed him! (not literally) I thank God I knew what was going on with me so that I had the strength to walk away from him!
Just needed to vent today!
love you all and keep up the great fight

[BearsFan1966]

Have you looked into the Thomas Recipe? I followed that minus the benzos
and it really helps. I take melitonin for sleep. Flush the pills its so powerful to take your life back! I took xanax for about a month but remember that can be addicting also. Tramadol is the worst! Not to sure about Lyrica at all. Post you question there are a ton of people with great advice to help you!

[vboss5764]

I have been taking hydros since 2004 when I had two back surgeries. Lately I have had problems with my testosterone being to low, also my LH and FSH hormones and zero sperm count, that in itself makes me feel like garbage. I have been thinking about throwing these drugs away, I have a feeling the hydros are causing my low T and low hormone levels, I just think that I;d feel better after getting off these drugs. The thing is I am also taking Tramadol and Lyrica, so how do I go about quitting these without going thru hell and cutting my throat? Tramadol and Lyrica have wds too. I've heard that Xanax helps but that stuff is hard to get anymore. How much Xanax is a low dose?  
What else might help? Melatonin, check, Benedryl check, I also have some nortrpytiline and zanaflex that makes me sleep good. What about something like Lunesta for sleep?

[BearsFan1966]

Thank you so much mommymarieme!

[mommymarieme]

Oh yes I believe it is in the air! Today was a depressing day but tomorrow will be better :) I loved Danes post! It is so true we are used to numbing it. I am so proud of you bear keep pushing thru! BIG CONGRATULATIONS on your 83 days!!

[BearsFan1966]

my sweet Bubble! Missed you sweetie! I am doing better today and after I went outside my son came out and told me he was sorry! God how I hate the teen years! My oldest 2 were ok but this one is testing me all the time! lol
Love you girl and you are right we are not alone!

[Bubbleguppie100]

OMG! I had the same bad day as you today!! I think it's the weather? Ugly and cold outside... My son was a butt head today also... :/ ugh, I hate days like these. How are you doing tonight? I'm sorry that you had a bad day. However, I know exactly what you're going through. We both can get through this. I know WE can. We fought too damn hard to get to where we are now. :)

[BearsFan1966]

Thank you brandi and Dane! I find now that I am not taking the pills that I can actually think before I react! Big accomplishment for me! I use to jump off the handle and start yelling and screaming at the drop of a hat! Yea life is so much better sober!

[Dane74]

yahoooooo on 83 days!!  Yep, we all get those good and bad days, i have noticed myself that when those bad days do come i tend to think that it is worse than it really is ever since i have been clean, but its not any worse its just that i am clean now and dealing with it instead of numbing it and thinking it would just go away.  So, point is, we are just learning how to deal with those bad days clean and its more of a challenge, usually bad days are followed by good ones.  Oh yeah i forgot those teenage years are the worst, I'm living it now with 2 teenage girls, so props to you for walking away from your teen! Your doing great and that energy is coming 90 days is the general turning point, keep up the good work:-)

[brandiroars386]

So sorry to hear your having a bad day. But you have accomplished so much....83 days is amazing!! Try and do something for just yourself tonight, a long bath a hot shower, some tea..whatever makes you happy!!  I agree that venting is good for the soul.  Glad you shared your feelings with us. Sending prayers and hope your way

[BearsFan1966]

Thank you all so much! I think it is in the air! Thank you Teri always thinking of you love and prayers to you too!

[msdelight]

Hi Bear just wanted to say hi tell you that you're in my prayers. I understand what you are going through and it does help to vent.  
You're in the valley and will start heading up mountain real soon.

[Kbusymom]

Sorry you're having a bad day; I am too.  Yesterday started bad, I got it together and actually ended up feeling better. I was hoping today would be the same, but it really must be jerky kid day.  My daughter was so awful and whiny tonight.  Ended up having to put her  to bed early.  Oh well, I guess this is part of a "normal" life.  We are going to all have good and bad days; I'm just hoping the good start to outweigh the bad.  Hang in there, you are so strong!!

[Teri9498]

Hey Bear...83 days is AWESOME!!!...sorry ur having a bad day!!..my day has been sucky 2!!!..it must be be a jerk son day, BC my oldest son is really being one!..LOL..tomorrow will be a better day!..hang in there!!..sending tons of love & support!!! xxoo ;)

[BearsFan1966]

Thanks ready! I really do not have too many bad days just waiting for the energy and motivation to come back! I used for a long time so I know it will take time to heal! You hang in there too! Congrats to you also

[readytoquit184]

Yes bad days suck! We are close in our clean time and I know what you mean. I remember in the first cpl weeks just wanting to make it to 3 days, then 10, then 30 and so on. Mainly to get past the acute wd and read everyone going through paws but thought I'd be fine once I was past the physical but now I'm completely understanding what the hype was all about. I don't feel like doing anything and am in a terrible mood more days than I'd like. Have a 3-1/2 year old son so have to act like nothing is wrong when I'm in my moods. We just have to hang in there and hope soon our emotions will balance out and we will be our old selves again.... I read that can take a long time but will happen.... At diff times for everyone, and I think that depends on diff variables (ie- how much emotional support there is and life's stress is in our lives financially, legally, family, etc. keep up the good work!!! Congrats on your clean time!!!

[BearsFan1966]

Thank you sweetie! My son goes to mma tonight so I think I will do that after they leave! I will have 3 hours to myself!!! whoo hoo

[dominosarah]

Bad days are no fun but they do happen.  Makes the good days seem even bett!er.  Sometimes we have to bring the sunshine to us.  Take a bubble bath, turn on the music, just do something relaxing for you.  Tomorrow will be a better day~