brand new...??

[hiwpew523]

I am brand new to this forum and am struggling with (wow is it hard to type) an addiction to Butalbital (brand name Esgic Plus). I have been treated for migraines for the past 18 years and, in the past two years, I've let the medicine take over.  I want to be free of this. I am ready to be free of this.
I don't even know what to ask right now...just for your support, advice and encouragement.

Thanks to all.

[minn66]

I am so glad you got a response and a taper plan. Iwill is very knowledgeable and should be a great help and support. I am also glad you are going to stick around :)

[IwillDoThis]

so glad to hear it - that should take you through your family events.  Please stick around and we'll support you.  This is a great place full of great people with lots of experience.  

[hiwpew523]

My neuro's nurse just called back. I am on my way to pick up my taper schedule, which will be aprroximately 7 weeks to make it slow and gradual.
Does this sound reasonable to all of you?

I am so relieved to have this "out there" with one of my doctors. But I don't intend to leave this forum. I will need support from all of you; and I hope to offer support in return.

Thanks for all the kind words.

[hiwpew523]

Thank you, bama88.
I know I have a battle ahead of me. I am trying to focus on the feeling of freedom I will have when I no longer have these pills as part of my daily life.  Mainly I do not want to wake up any more and think "do I have enough to get me through until the next refill?"
Thanks again.

[IwillDoThis]

Hi - I just sent you a personal message.  Nope I wasn't hospitalized, I detoxed on my own at home.  It isn't fun but it can be done.  How much fiorcet are you taking?  Do you binge or do you just take them consistently?  (this will help others  answer your questions if we know your exact situation).

You are correct it is both physical and mental.  Stopping pills is easy aside from the discomfort of withdrawal.  It's the mental part of it that can be tricky to manage - especially for people in chronic pain because we have this nagging voice from our brain telling us "it's okay, you HAVE pain, just take the pill"  

If you had told me a year ago I'd be managing my pain without opiates I would have told you to "F off" and that you were crazy but here I am 70 days opiate free and my pain is better managed than it ever was.  In stopping pills I had to take responsibility of my conditions, I had to seek out new ways to manage them, make some lifestyle changes etc.  I FEEL better than I have in years.

I know you may be scared right now about coming clean with doctor and going through this but  you can do it.  

[bama88]

I don't know what your taking. but that doesn't matter. when our meds change our thinking and behavior well i understand that....I've been on pain meds for eight long years. 8. the last four years were not fun. i battled addiction along with severe addiction. and it was he//. getting off is nice//// and staying off is very very hard. but Im doimf it. Im 34 days clean. and its been a hard road. i argue with myself everyday. i understand your frustration completely. and will support your decission to be free. take one step at at time..some steps are eAsy. like admitting you've got a problem. so congrads on completing step one.  e gentle and kind with yourself. it will not be easy. but you can do it....sending you a hug. and lots of encouragement...

[hiwpew523]

IwillDoThis -
Thank you for your support.
I have just placed a call to my neurologist and left a message with his nurse, which is usually who manages all my meds anyway.  I tried to be very plain - something like "I am taking too much of this medicine and I need your help in tapering off...please call me back as soon as possible."  Hopefully she will call before the end of the day.
Plan B is to call my family doctor and have him help me get started. Once I made the decision, at 5 this morning, to seek help I was determined NOT to let anybody put me off.  
I still feel like I am in for not only a physical nightmare but an emotional one as I "confess" to these doctors, but it has to be done.
Did you have to be hospitalized while you were coming off your meds?

[IwillDoThis]

Hi there -  so you are taking fiorcet which is a barbituate so you are right, not safe to just stop.  I too suffered from chronic migraines in my life and have taken fiorcet as well as a myriad of other neuro meds for headaches.  I feel for you.  Just sending you some support- I'm gonna PM you with some things that I am trying or helped me with headaches.

We'll be here to support and help you - don't be scared.  Today is 70 days for me without hydros and my pain is better managed  now than it ever was on opiates.  There is hope and you CAN do this.

[minn66]

It sounds like you have a great plan. I am so sorry you're having such a rough time. That is very sweet of your husband to stay home with you. He sounds very supportive, which as you know means a lot. My hubby took care of me while I was going through wd. I was taking five Lortab 10's a day for chronic pain issues, which I will have to deal with the rest of my life. Yet, it started worrying me because it started taking more and more meds to get relief. Posting here really helped and still helps me make it through the bad days.

Post as often as you need, even just to vent. There are a lot of wonderful, caring people who will offer support.

Good luck today. I am thinking of and praying for you. :)

Minn

[hiwpew523]

Thanks, minn66 -
I so appreciate your kind words.  No, it is not safe to stop this med cold turkey.  
After being up most of the night, I've decided to call my neurologist and BEG to be seen today for help tapering off. I've tried to move my appt up from July but have been told there are no openings. But I did not make it clear why I needed to be seen earlier. I am hoping at least his nurse will speak to me and help me start a program.  If they cannot help me today, I am going to call my family doctor and seek his help.  My husband is staying home from work today to help me through this.
I am so nervous, ashamed and embarrassed.  Surely these doctors have seen it all; especially the neuro, right?

Thanks for your encouragement.

[minn66]

Hi and welcome! I am not familiar with what you are taking so I don't know if it is safe to just stop cold turkey or not. Some things can be stopped abruptly while others should be tapered with a doctor's supervision. I hope someone with more information about it posts soon. I just wanted to respond and let you know we're glad to have you :)