can't figure it out

[overeasy]

I've been working with a therapist - thanks ibk for making me do this- and i still have no idea why i got to this place.  i never did drugs when i was younger - to frightened and chicken **** cuz i didn't know what was in them-ocd i guess;). and followed the set path i made for myself to succeed.  i have a great family, don't have to worry financially and i still want to escape- obviously.  i see some very strong people on here that put me to shame.  all the obstacles they have overcome- its amazing.  what the duck is wrong with me?

[overeasy]

Looks like i have a lot more work to do :(

[selfinduced]

Hey Easy Breezy, I swear you must be reading my diary. I feel just as you do. After having some solid clean time behind me and the initial rush of accomplishment achieved, I too am concerned about where the void lies in making a perfectly content (seemingly) person want to take mood altering toxins? So I go over the list...genetics? check....history? check...All I can say is staying busy and scheduled has helped me maintain. That idle hands/devils work seems to come into play if I have too much time. Like Ricart said, Find your triggers and stay clear of them. YOU have overcome such a great deal in your addiction and life situations and you never want to waste that for a 30 min escape or high. Remembering where I was and where I am now helps me stay on track, but like you I'd like more science and soultions to keep me in the game......Your not alone, just an amazing human being that is aware and honest enough to lay your thoughts out for support.  xx

[rush2112]

It's tough, but cliches are cliches and time does heal all wounds...we just have to use that time wisely

[cleaninitup]

I remember having a conversation a few years ago with my aunt who was an alcoholic and she had just reached the point she had finally been sober longer than she had drank and when asked if she missed or craved it her answer was everyday.  I think we do some real hard damage to our brains that takes along time to heal.i do find myself goin many days when I don't think about pills at all and those are honestly the times when I'm not around MH. I personally find if im in here too much i start thinking more and more about them .I wonder if we do more damage and longer term effects if we started in our teen years? We've all heard that our brain is still growing until our early twenties . But once again everyone is diffrent.

[theirmommie72]

agreed.

[kyle505]

I know that it gets easier to manage, and that's wonderful. But I do think that, at least for me, this will be something that I will have to be aware of for the rest of my life. The 15 years that I failed was a big chunk - and it took me that long (slow learner) to understand that I will not be able to beat the addiction. All I can hope for is to live with it - and not use.
Everyone's different. Maybe some of us will eventually lose the addictive behavior, I'm not sure. All I know is what I've decided for myself - as Sarah says, never let your guard down.
All the best...