Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

close to the edge

I am really close to slitting my wrists.  I see no other option.  I am at day 17 clean of a year addiction to vicodin and I am feeling so incredibly bad that I feel as though I can not go on. I feel that my family will be so much better off without me and I feel that this will never go away.  Everyone tells me that it gets better, but yet it seems to be getting worse. I have tried exercising and vitamins and everything but nothing is working. This is no way to live.  Someone out there please offer me some hope and reason to live before it is too late. I am at the edge.
28 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
1041953 tn?1259072690
There is not much I can add to the wonderful advice you've already been given.  But, I would like to add this.... my sister-in-law lost her brother to suicide years and years ago.  There's not a single day that his self-inflicted death does not alter her day in a negative way.  She's plagued with guilt in so many ways - as an R.N., why didn't she see the signs that something very serious was amiss; why was their aging, frail mother the one to find him in their basement, why, why, why?  I know I am asking you to look at the situation from a self-less position, not a self-centered one, but it bears a deep, hard look.  And, the self-centered implication is not meant to be hurtful. Being self-centered is a hugely human tendency.  We all do it.

Finally, pray and pray and pray some more.  I will do some praying for you myself.  It WILL get better, if only you'll let it.
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
Most people who do sumpin like suicide/would not have done it had they slept on it..tomorrow is another day..it hurts those u leave behind..my randfather shot himself in the head and my mom found him..me being a nurse had to clean up the mess as it took us 2 days before my mom found him..the guilt and stuff he caused my mom made me angry in a way...i felt guilty too even tho i did try to visit..it is an awful feeling for those u leave behind..dont do it!

U r in a doomer mood right now..been there and done that..I also live alone/detoxed here alone....getting out to the gym daily helped alot and going to meetings daily did a ton of good for me..plus posting here ALOT during the whole ordeal

Are you going to aftercare?  meetings r free and AA or NA are everywhere...google the sites and find a meeting..get up and MOVE..u r excercising u said//or tried it?? This is sumpin u need to do whenever u feel this yucky...hit the street and walk..dance to music like domino does...go to the gym...clean out a closet or a drawer..just do sumpin to make urself occpied

ADs usually dont kick in for a month as mentioned...and it also has to be the right one for u...ssri's are what they usually give people due to the least amount of side effects...if u r not seratonin deficient they will not do a whole lot....if u r dopamine deficient then they wont help much....give it a month tho and if there is no improvement tell ur dr and try sumpin else

The aminos do help/well they did for me..but u gotta take the recommended doses....r u taking 2000 mgs of tyrosine and phenylalnine (SP) a day?...just those 2 are8 pills a day cos they come in 500 mgs...powdered form from Bulk nutrition is a easier/i mixed it with EmergenC (walmart) and chugged it 3 times a day in divided doses..C is important right now cos people tend to gett sick alot after detox/takes alot out of u to wd from drugs...double check and be sure u r taking the recommended amounts...since u r on an AD/if it is an SSRI like zoloft or lexapro/then 50 mgs of 5 htp is what u need at night before bed and not the recommended 100mgs

Also/if u r not sleeping u need to adress that wwith ur dr and get a safe med for sleep/phenergan help alot and is safe/plus there r lots of OTC drugs/supps like benadryl, valerian root, melatonin...lack of  sleep makes us weak...

keep posting...day by day right now...be sure u get the support u need
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
close to the edge...please, don't do that...I think we all know what you're feeling..but, it will pass...you need some strong support...you need someone close to help you see the light at the end of this thing....isnt there someone you can call?  I know when i've felt that way....it was hard...but talking to someone...anyone...always helped a lot.   Addiction is a horrible thing..look what it has done to all of us...what we put ourselves through....none of us intended for this to happen...but, now we have to deal with the results...find someone...or...GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY...WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS THERE,   GOD IS....HES ALWAYS THERE.....DON'T GIVE UP....
Helpful - 0
1034192 tn?1445509784
You are in my prayers!!
Helpful - 0
1078103 tn?1256779401
tphelp,
getting off of opiates is a very tough thing to do, however i promise you that ending your life will not help things. Today is my first day without opiates, i was on hydrocodone for 3 years, and then methadone for 5 1/2, so i know im going to be sick as hell and im probably going to feel like ****, but its part of life.  We as addicts are selfish people, and don't feel bad about thoughts like these as just about everyone i have known, they have thought this while going through withdrawal.

I know it may sound stupid, but you have a great start, you said you have 17 days clean so you ARE A STRONG person obviously.  Keep working on your sobriety and each day will get better. Surround yourself with positive people.
Helpful - 0
662972 tn?1270166301
I have sent you a private message in your in box. It's on your profile page at top right. Check when you get chance.

Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.