confused as heck

[confusednscared911]

Ok here's my story, over a year ago I started taking percocet 10/325 for bad backpain, about 9 months ago I started snorting the pills instead of taking them and have done it since, they do help with my pain and I could definitely go back to just taking them, but with snorting them the pain goes away faster, I do not get a "high" with them and I do 50 mgs a day approx., well the dr prescribes only 30 mgs a day but my husband gets them also so sometimes i do more but rarely over 50 mgs daily. There is times I have flushed them because I feel like such a horrible person for "needing" them although I truly have pain. Well night before last I flushed again and I'm stuck until Monday with none prescribed, yesterday morning I woke up to very bad lower back pain and could hardly get out of bed, I was weak, had no energy just like the other times Ive flushed them, my migraines came back and do not go away until I take strong pain meds, well yesterday evening I got 5- 10 mg lortab from my neighbor because i was really in pain and I took one and was ok, just ok, so before bed i took another, last night I just couldnt sleep, and here I am up still this morning with maybe 2 hours of sleep, I have since taken another lortab and I have 2 left, theres nowhere for me to get more when these are gone and now I'm scared and dumb for flushing because i have unbearable pain and yes I feel addicted to them because i need them for the pain but I wish I could just stop, theres no way I can deal with the pain if I stop for good, but I want to, these next days are going to be horrible and if I have to go til Monday with none and put myself through this then why start again, but I'm sure I will.........HELP!

[confusednscared911]

I took excedrin migraine before and it did nothing, tylenol, aleve, and so on, even ib 800mg, my husband knows and he takes them as well but not nearly like I do, my neurologist said to stop all narcotics cause they are causing my migraines but i had them before the meds so i dont understand, yea i have topamax and it dont prevent all of them, i feel like pure crap and my back and head hurts soooo bad.

[gmsmom29]

I was prescribed the percocet 10's for migraines too.  The first time I detoxed it was very hard, because i was using for 8+ months.  It took time, I'd say about a week before I had motivation to do ANYTHING.  I have 3 kids, 1,3 and 4.  My husband has been my saviour.  Can your hubby work 1/2 days for this week to get you thru this?  
Have you tried an everyday medicine like indural or topamax for the migraines?  And as for when you have one, how about relplax (that's what works for me), imitrex, etc?   And if you take excedrin migraine as SOON as you feel it coming on, it may take off the edge.  
My 2nd w/d and this one are more mild than the first.  I'm still physically feeling everything, but forcing myself to eat and drink water.  I am still a crying, anxious mess with a tremendous headache.  But since i made it thru the 1st 2 times, i know i can make it thru this time.  Making it thru the physical is just the beginning. it's the mental part that is hard.  You have to really want it and be ready.  you need to tell someone, your husband, friend, family member, etc...you need support.

[confusednscared911]

I have decided that I will only take meds I am prescribed, I cant gt in trouble for nothing and wont and theres nowhere to get anymore pills so I'm stuck, I'm not going to tell my dr I snorted my meds but if I tell him I want off them what do I do for the pain when I cant move and I have kids and a house to take care of? My migraines are so severe that all I can do is lay with a cold rag and not open my eyes, I cant do this, what can i do? Is there anyone that has actually done the thomas recipe or other stuff and it truly helped?

[livngr8ful]

You shouldn't just feel addicted, you should know you are.  You are Illegally getting meds, snorting something that is not to be snorted and all the other stuff. I know its hard as you have true pain.  I am an addict as you are.  Addicted to oxy-everything.  Ive had 5 spine surgeries and am well aware of the need for pain meds. I can promise you that your pain is not as bad as it seems.  Your body will tell your brain you hurt worse than you do just to get more narcotics.  I understand you thoughts with your kids and your ability to care for them going through detox. To just tell it how it is.  You are going to have to do it at some point.  My as well get it over.  You are going to need to get some help, and the only way to get help is to ask for it and to tell the truth about what is going on.  Right now you are not at your lowest point and I can promise that you dont want to get there.  Not to be harsh, but the next time you go get pills from someone and just happen to get pulled over for a minor traffic violation you can be the next convicted felon.  It's no joke,  I've been there. And that is a hole you dont want to have to work to get out of.  Please just do what you need to right now to stop.  It can only get worse from here. Peace and good luck.  You have came across a great site and alot of people who have been right where you are at.  Alone is not an option with this. Keep your head up and please take the correct steps to move forward.  And keep in mind that is way more embarrassing to explain why you overdosed or are in jail, than it is to ask for some help for a situation that many people need help with. It is very possible and not as hard as it seems.  I promise it's not as hard as it seems.

[confusednscared911]

thanks for the replies, ive been laying in bed all morning, I have 2 kids both in school, one in prek that i have to take at 1230 every day, how in the world can i detox, I have no help, my husband works 12 hours a day too, geeeeeez this is crazy

[sisterofabuser151]

Hi, first of all be real careful about snorting anything because my brother is still in the hospital from that. Also i had a problem with addiction myself and used to snort and now I have a hold between the septum. Second it sounds like you need to go to a pain specialist and have them put you on a regiman that will help you. I have fibromyelgia and they weren't sure what was going on. I was on 80 mg of Methadone to control the pain. I didn't like how it made me lose my memory, but i did like how i could get things done without having a heating pad on my back all day. I ended up cutting it back to 40 mg and then they also put me on Gabpentin which is a drug that takes the nerve pain away. They finally came out with a non narcotic which is savella so i was able to get off of the Methadone completely. What a differance, i got my memory back and now i'm working a full time job. The pain specialist should be able to help you. If you were doing it just for the high then you probably need someone to help you detox. hang in there, there is hope at the end of the tunnel. I will pray for you :)

[gmsmom29]

I am kinda in the same boat.. someone put it to me as "living in hell or being in prison"...living in hell with the pain, being a prisioner to the pills.  If you are sure you are going to turn back to the pills, sounds like you haven't made up your mind to be DONE for good...maybe you need to talk to your doc, tell them your problem, find other ways to deal with the pain.  I personally think if you are going to go thru a week of withdrawal, it would be pretty dumb to start up again.   Things start looking up each day after the physical wd/s.  the anxiety gets better, life gets better. not worrying about when you will pop your next pill, counting down until your refil date, etc...
dont you want your life back?