day one

[mitches]

I had 1 pill left  yesterday around noon and that's the last of them...
Sooooo I'm on the couch freezing, trying to make myself get up & move but have no motivation! I've been taking hydro 10/325 for about 2 yrs now usually 5~8 per day.
Last night was probably the worst night of sleep I've ever had, I guess I'm here for support. I can't continue to live the way that I have!!! I'm a stay at home mother of three great kids & I feel terrible for doing this to them, myself & my husband.
My husband is very supportive, but being home all day alone has to be the hardest part of the w/d so far! Nobody knows about my problem, and I don't want to reach out to family and friends...

[Orion5611]

Oh Hunny. You'll be feeling fine and normal by the wknd fer sure! : )

So sorry about the stomach virus! Sure hope you feel better soon ; )

[mitches]

I had thought about "catching" the flu but I was so damn adamant about my family getting the flu shot my ex will catch on for sure! Lol
Stomach virus it is :).  Wishing I had dark glasses so he couldn't see my pupils which are HUGE! Ugh
Glad your having a good day, everyone deserves a relaxing day off once in a while especially after what you have been dealing with.  I can't wait to feel as well as you do!  Hopefully just a few more days. My daughters birthday is this weekend & I don't want to ruin it :(

[Orion5611]

It is definately a psychological issue! I think you'll do fine. I'm sorry you have to get out. I don't like seeing people when I'm not feeling well. If he asks how you're doin, just say you're not feeling very good today? : )

I'm doing much better today, thanks for asking. I took today off work because I feel like I deserve another day off. I only worked a half a day yesterday. I have sick leave, so I'm getting paid to recover. : )

I will be praying for you today. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you think! Take care! I'm so proud of you for stickin with this!!

May God bless your life for trying to get your life back! Much love Hun!

[mitches]

Ha! I'm feeling like crap :) in good spirits tho!
Kinda up and moving around some now, which is an improvement from yesterday. I even took a shower & did my hair (which was a task in itself)
Dreading this conference at school.... I can't reschedule because my childs father is driving an hour and a half to be there! I'm so scared he will just look at me & know....
After a tortuous custody battle that's the last thing I need.  
Its mind over matter right?  I just need to mentally prepare myself to do this.

How are you doing? Hanging in there I hope!  

[movnon]

I am on day 9 without hydro but took tylenol with codeine to help until a few days ago, it was the only way I thought I could do it but all it did was hold the wd's off so day nine with no lorcets, day 3 with nothing at all. Feeling the emotional crap now and feel like a monster, so irritated and have not been able to sleep for 4 days. Have to do this however. So proud of you. I love this forum, couldn't do it without it.

[Orion5611]

How are you feeling my friend?

[mitches]

I took immodium about an hour ago & just ate something for the 1st time since Sunday night.
This is SO tough!   I feel guilty for complaining though... There are so many people in the world that are severely ill and can't do anything about it & here I am, self inflicted misery!  
Its going to be a long day I'm afraid...
Thanks again to you all for so much support!  

[shrimpman]

I found that liquid imodium does the trick for the runs-----It's great to see all the support you are getting----there are many wonderful people here and they helped me when I needed it------Orion----i've been following your progress and I am so happy you are making it through this-----Best regards to all, Jon

[Orion5611]

LOL
I'm so proud of you! I drank almost an entire bottle of pepto over the weekend! : ) Plus a lot of ibuprofen! I'm glad today is better! Everyday gets easier! Keep up the good work my friend!!

[mitches]

Well, after a good nights sleep (thanks to ambien)  I wake up with the WORST let's say " stomach bug....I know you all know what I'm getting at.  Trying to get the kids ready for school from the bathroom has been interesting to say the least!
So far today I don't feel terrible.  Much better than yesterday actually! Heck I made it from the couch to the bathroom already this morning! Lol. I guess that's a start :)
I'm supposed to have a meeting at school today with my child's teacher.... Are you laughing at me yet?!?   We should take bets on how many times I need to excuse myself to use the bathroom!!!
So, at noon I'm at 48 hours....  

[Gettingcleanagain1221]

Hey mitches, you are doing great!!!! Keep it going today on this new wonderful day. The only thing that I would warn against is using the ambien after at most a week. Being the addict I am......which sux......I got a huge addiction to those after I kicked the opiates a couple years ago. For some reason quitting ambien was even worse for me but each person is different. You will get thru this and the world is a much better place when your mind is clear. Have a great day and keep on trucking! :-)

[mitches]

Worried~ I have read through the health pages, but briefly... I do plan on reading more as soon as I feel as if I can retain information again!  I read it and its as if I'm staring at a wall right now. Congrats on getting thru the w/d on your own! That must have been so difficult.
I do plan on going to meetings & surrounding myself with positive influences.  Thanks for your support! I need all the help I can get right now.

Oakie~ you do have a rough road ahead, but don't let that keep you from doing this!   I'm lucky to have found this site & posting today has really helped a lot! Keep posting & stay strong!

[okie405]

hi all,
this is my first post, but i am thankful to have found this site!  I have been taking hydrcodone for about 4 years (about 90mg a day).  I have started a self imposed taper and i will need your support!  my partner and friends are supporting me in this process and with their help, and hopefully the help of this board, I know I can get myself through this process and get 'out of the fog' I have lived in for the past few years.  

my habit was up to 9 or 9-1/2 10mg pills per day up until last Thursday.  On Friday, I started a taper that will be 6 per day until this Friday, then I will do 5 days of 5 per day, then 5 days of 4 per day, then 3 days of 3 per day, and then 3 days of 2 per day, and then 3 days of 1 per day....and then the end of this nightmare.  I will quit!  I know that even with the taper I will likely experience withdrawls and I would appreciate any encouragement or advice from those that have walked this path before me.

[worried878]

i did my detox totally alone..4 days//then went back to work...i did go to a meeting everyday tho..and to the gym whether i felt like it or not..i was at 100 mgs of hydro a day...alot of it is mind over matter...hang tight..what is ur plan as far as getting clean and staying clean?   have u read thru the health pages?

[mitches]

Well, just took an ambien. Keep your fingers crossed & hope I get some sleep!

Movnon~ how long have you been off of the hydro?  

[movnon]

Hi!
I too am addicted to hydrocodone and have been for 3 1/2 years. I am a stay at home mom too and knew I just had to do it, it was time. I begin posting here and it helped so much. We are here, post often, stay strong and know you will be a happier stronger person!
All the best to you!

[Orion5611]

Ill be here!

You have been an inspiration to me too! I know I need to follow my own advice : ) I think the cravings will always be there, we just need to remember these first few days of torturous misery! LoL.
Talk to you tomorrow!

[mitches]

You have been such an angel today! I don't think I would have made it thru the day without your encouragement & positively!
It means more to me than you will ever know.
I will post in the morning & hopefully things will be looking up.  

[Orion5611]

LoL I always look forward to the end of the day too!! I pray you feel better tomorrow! Everyday gets better hun!

[mitches]

The hubby is home & is helping with the kids now so as of now all is well!  I mean minus the obvious...lol.  
Thank God I have such a supportive husband!  I'd be lost right now without his help & willingness to stand by me :)
Isn't it bedtime yet?  Ugh, a few more hours....

[merrymaria]

congrats to you....the first 48 hours are tough...at least they were for me.  i am an addict also in recovery on day 528....medhelp is a great place...lots of support...love and just good honest people....keep hangin in there and be prepared for the mental stuff....it does go away...it takes time but life is beautiful beyond pills....be prepared for that too....have you read the health pages?...lots of good info...you might want to try melatonin for sleep...natural...nothing addicting....wish you lots of luck...you CAN do it....we all can...hugs...maria :)

[Orion5611]

You're right mitches! Just ONE will hurt! That is a trap that I have fallen into toooo many times! Yes, one more would be nice but then we'd have to start from day 1! Nooo thank you! You're almost there! Tomorrow will be better.

[Orion5611]

Thank you more_fiend : ) Love the name. I am addicted to opiates too! Big time. I'm looking forward to day 5 tomorrow!

You're doing awesome mitches! We'll get thru this together!

[mitches]

Thank you all So much!  I've never really felt like I could get thru this until I started talking to everyone on here!
Hoping sleep comes easy tonight. I'm trying not to freak out about things & let myself slip!
Oh how just one would be nice.... Hell, I'm halfway to feeling better no sense in even thinking about it now :)