I agree with sweatinit. I could not have put it better myself. I did the same exact thing. Just one...I'll take just one to lighten my mood and be happy with that. One didnt do what I wanted it to do, so i took another half. After that I only felt depressed and extremely pissed at myself for the rest of the night. Totally not worth it all. Stay strong, you can do it.
Day one is tough. Mostly mental though. Your w/d shouldn't be too bad today. Like sweatinit said, tell yourself that taking a pill is not an option. And do not keep any any in the house. The temptation is too great to use. I had to cut off ALL contact with my suppliers, which was hard to do because I wanted to have that option in case the w/d got to be more than i could handle. I was never successful until I did that.
Just remember that you are not alone and you CAN get through this. Nothing worth having is easy:) I will be praying for you!
Congrats on day 1....today is better than yesterday. Push through the urges, as they do let up after a little time. Put it in your mind that taking "a pill" is not an option. Otherwise, you will drive yourself nuts. We know that one pill is never enough.
I wanted one pill and did it a few weeks backs and trust me, it's not worth it! Was waiting for that feeling of "ahhh" and it never came. I ended up being super pissed at myself and had to start my clean days all over again.
Hang in there and keep posting!