Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
699295 tn?1295358345

found them...destroyed them

i have to tell someone...yesterday i decided to clean since it was so gross outside. the short story is that i found 6 fentynal patches in my nightstand...they were hidden well enough that i didn't find them when i when i first went thru my hiding spots...i didn't use them...really wanted to though.   it felt like i had almost a weeks worth of wd squeezed into yesterday and last night. RLS, anxiety, shakes, headache, nausea...everything. sleep just wouldn't come easy last night. maybe 2 weeks is just to quick to be in that situation?  i did destroy the patches...but i feel like i'm back at square one. i'm grateful that i was strong enough to do that. i didn't wanna go back to day 1 again.  so my question is....i work in medicine...i need to go back sometime soon. is this gonna happen at work when a patient brings in meds to have them switched? BTW thats how i came across these patches to begin with. how do former addicts work with current addicts? today seems a little better for me...but it's still early. thanx for listening.
                            -mjax024
7 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Way to go! so very proud of you,when thoes cravings get to strong,just think back to day 1 and day 2 that should help<keep going forward you can do it and pray!
snowflake
Helpful - 0
673183 tn?1232732878
Congrats on being strong enough to do that. You have lots of will power. I too work with meds, I admimister them to 40 residents and for a long time I was indulging myself in the meds that was suppose to be for my patients. Now I go to work, and there is not a minute that goes by that I'm not thinking about it.Then I just think about my little boy and how I almost got caught forging my own script(I have access to them at the hospital) What exactly do you work at? I hope everything works for you.Keep posting and let us know.
Helpful - 0
710423 tn?1271161074
Right...to throw them away and then realize what a pickle you think you are in; wanting to dig in the toilet to retrieve them...right...well, I know it's not something I can fathom at the moment.  But reading all these threads and posts has been quite uplifting. Encouraging me each step of the way...Big kisses and hugs.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You did great man, it's crazy how the mind can change so fast in those moments, how week we can feel, but the bottom line is you destroyed them and got through it. Ya 2 weeks is early, but even now i can't be around or see coke or i turn into a crazy man, lol.  Keep posting and stay strong. congrats
Helpful - 0
699295 tn?1295358345
that was a new concept for me too, i've never destoryed meds like that (i used to consider destroying good drugs to be the real drug abuse!) and i payed for it with a full day of withdrawal. i hate those feelings...the cravings. but i guess it gets better with time. it was just a little disappointing to go from feeling sooooooooo empowered that i destroyed them then feeling so helpless because i really wanted them. but no use crying over spilled fentynal, right?
Helpful - 0
710423 tn?1271161074
I don't even understand that concept. I mean, really. No matter how much "clean" time I have, or how badly I want to stay away from them...No matter how wonderful life is without them...I can't NOT take them. If I go anywhere and see any type of pain killer...patch or otherwise, I can not simply ignore it...I steal, lie, manipulate...no matter. It's as if an instinctual alarm goes off and I suddenly have no thought processes. It is quite hopeful to read the above messages because I truly never thought it possible. Now I see that perhaps it COULD be possible; that I too will one day be able to turn away instead of reaching out and grabbing....thanks for your post!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Mjax------  Amazing will power---- I am so proud of you.  Yes, sometimes it is tough --  I too have access to Opiates but the reason I don't touch them any more is exactly what you referred to  ----- And that is,  Do I want to return to square ONE --and start all over again after the agony I went through to kick this stuff???   NO WAY ----    You know Mjax, we really suffered some horrible W/D's to get through to where we are now --- and while the lure of the drugs may always be there --  common sense tells me if I relapse I will have even a harder time next time --(If there is a next time and I am not dead from an OD).  So, I'll take my sometimes boring life and deal with it the way it is --- drug free.  I really believe you will make it - even when faced with Fentanyl patches and opiates staring at you from a bottle.  All the best
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.