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300764 tn?1193569872

he's such a mess

my boyfriend basically slammed me into a door the other night b/c i walked into him and another girl in a drug den.....please help me I can't deal with this anymore but I love him so much he is on the road to self destruction.  I looked at him and he looked yellow and his eyes are all glassyhe looked like a different person like someone took over his body.  I think he is on much more drugs then I originally thought
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233181 tn?1235183152
Your boyfriend is smoking crack, you said he had a yellowish tint to his skin, are the whites of his eyes yellow. This could indicate hepatitis, do not sleep with him without a condom as hep is very contagious. So he picked some crack ***** over you, because she had the money to get them high. I would not even sleep with him. The best thing for him would be if he got arrested for possession. When people in our lives make us crazy and mentally ill its time to throw in the towel. I know how much you love him and so does he. That's part of the problem. Go to the DR next week and get a hep c, test, Get out while you still can! Someday this will all be behind you!--------------NOAH
Helpful - 0
214255 tn?1205635636
Leave him once a guy hits you and you stay they'll keep doing it (i've been there) I know I know you love him. Well lemme just say this me getting out of the abusive realtionship was the best thing ever. Yea you're going to cry and be depressed, but in a couple of months believe me you'll be more happy than you ever have been before....He's not going to quit drugs anytime soon i'm sure so you'll either fall down with him or keep getting abused or worste catch a life time disease...Keep us posted
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Avatar universal
You need to leave the relationship now.

My ex is an alcoholic and crackhead and one thing I've realized is that it is a progressive disease and unless he truly wants to stop he won't. In the begining BF was bad but still able to function and work, however, in 2 yrs. time he changed into someone I didn't even recognize. He eventually lost EVERYTHING including his family and me. He became physically and emotionally abusive and within the last month he stole $1500 from me, I pressed charges and he spent 2 days in jail. Right now he is in rehab but ya know what? It doesn't matter to me because I moved a week ago---and I've moved on. Besides I think he's only in rehab because he's looking at a lot of time and he thinks it will help his case.

I know you love him and you want to help him but you can't...you're young, not married and you don't have kids with him (?) so right now you need to think of yourself and understand that his addiction WILL bring you down and you might look back in a couple of yrs. and say *I wish I'd left sooner*, I know I did. Good luck to you.
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Avatar universal
I have a question from your post.......

Where were you when you walked in on him..........notmenow suggests he was with a cocaine ***** so I'm wondering did this guy bring her home with him?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
.Why did you choose crack,did I miss something? If hes using and hes contracted hep it was probably thru a needle and if he has hep c theres less then a 1 percent chance of passing it thru sex. Also if he was with a girl using crack or whatever why is she a *****?
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233181 tn?1235183152
Read her post again! Do not focus on mine. She said she walked walked in on him in a DRUG DEN. If its not crack being used in a drug den then what is the alternative? (HERION). If It had been heroin do you think he would have been able to confront her and throw her up against a door? I have seen people under the influence of crack, she herself mentioned the tone of his skin and it had a yellow tint to it. When a person is high on crack they do a complete 360. Which I would say was obvious in her post. When a person is high on crack it is almost impossible to get them out of their safe house. You may have a point when it comes to the sexist remark I made. He could have easily been the crack *****.  The point I was trying to make is when a person trades sex for a hit off the pip is where they cross the line and deserve the title which I did not invent by the way. But I do sincerely apologize if I offended any females. Now I have a question for you regarding your statistics on hepatitis, If what you say is true then why is it that over 40% of prison male inmates leave prison with a diagnosis of hepatitis according to the CDC.  Do you think they are sharing needles in prison. Drug paraphernalia other than needles, are a major way of contracting all kinds of STDs do you agree or disagree ? ---------------------NOAH  
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Avatar universal
I used heroin for a long time,,started a bus. using it. Not everybody just shoots and nods.The hep thing,,,I"ve had it for 20+ yrs and been married for 30. Yes there are needles in prison and transmission anally is quite diff then the reg. way. Theres a forum here for it,,read up
Helpful - 0
221016 tn?1196973461
Why would you want this loser?
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300764 tn?1193569872
guys......please enough!!!!! he is not using crack he has a defibalator in him so i know it is not crack , coke or any uppers.  It's all downers and/or i am thinking meth and benzos.  He has no diseases I am sure I have been to the hospital  and doctors with him all over fl and ny.
Drug Den-To me that means a place where you go and hideout and just get high where you isolate yourself from people.  Sorry this is all very new to me.I think he freaked out and I think this was his rock bottom....I think he just hit it....Alli
Thank you for all your good points though
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you want to help your boyfriend, try to find out what kind of drugs he is taking. Tell him that you love him and just want to help him feel better and see if he will level with you.  Sorry for people here telling you to dump him without knowing anything about you or him, and these same people had done some of the same things to their spouse of mate and they are still together because their partner was willing to stick it out. If you can find out what he is taking than you can find out what options there are to help him. Whatever he is taking, he sounds to be addicted to it and that can steal his mind and soul so understand he is not that person you once knew. He is going to need someone if his health is bad and he may of run himself down with mono or Hep A or B, so see if you can get him to get a blood test. If he is not willing to go to a doctor, maybe he can go to some kind of clinic, drug clinic or methadone clinic just for the blood test, about $50, plus they may be able to talk with him and find out whats going on. I hope you can get the truth out of him, we addicts can be pretty tight liped about our drug use.  
Helpful - 0
233181 tn?1235183152
When you mentioned drug den I knew what you were talking about. Your description of a drug den was right on the money, You said it may be meth. I hope you are talking about methadone, and not the demon of all drugs Methamphetamine or crystal meth as some people refer to it, Gives you a greater rush than crack and lasts much longer than crack. I'm told you can socialize on it because in truth it is a powerful homemade amphetamine, I would rather he smoke crack than smoke meth. I know of a friend of a friend that is doing 25 years for possession of methamphetamine, he was never arrested before in his life, Down here in FL they do not play when it comes to methamphetamine. And if he is bringing that sh*t into your house do what you gotta do to save your own life. It is really a shame you cannot see the forest through the tree's. Girl I wish you all the best in the world but I have to say, Good Bye and Good Luck as I can't do this anymore. What ever happens happens for what ever reason. Remember what is in the dark will come to the light------------NOAH
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300764 tn?1193569872
Noah, thank you I do see the light.  I can't be with him anymore it is crystal meth it has robbed him of his soul and his mind like calzy said.  I will never win over an addict especially someone who is in a huge hole like him.  I wrote a letter to his twin brother telling him to get him help before we have no more options left.....Alli
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No matter what all of the "doctors" in the room say, you are in grave danger. Never mind getting him help. You need to go get tested and cut all ties to this individual. His being yellow in color is due to one thing, his liver has been compromised. He's most likely firing it (using needles) and could or could not have hep. Hep A & B are both treatable, but painful. Hep C is incurable and unless you have had blood to blood contact with him you won't have it. It's important for you to get completely out of his life. One day, if and when he does get better, the program will have him finding you to make ammends. If that doesn't happen then he's not better and you're safe from his path of destruction.
Helpful - 0
317351 tn?1193797779
Codependancy is hard to see when love blinds you to the truth. You best hope is to shut the door and lock it. Any man who hits a woman is a loser (there are better four letter words) and an albatross around your neck. Run....don't walk. And the sooner the better.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i know how you must feel,i found out that my only son in using crack,he is in jail and i am sick inside,because i don't know what is next.i know god is the real answer,he can take this addiction away forever.i am praying for all of you and i sure hope you all find piece and pray for my son to get help
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yikes crystal meth really IS the worst!! People have been known to do really, REALLY horrible things on it. (in one of the worst child abuse cases *ever* the perps were meth addicts. Yet before the drug the mom was supposedly a great mom..on it she allowed unspeakable things to occur.) This is an evil drug. The worst of the worst so especially if you have kids stay as far away as you can from this man. Even if you don't have kids run because the next time slamming you against the door could easily turn into him beating you to death. I'm not kidding, it's that bad. I'm afraid for you if you continue to have contact with him. Fortunately by your last post it looks like you've had enough.

Your in my prayers and I hope you find a good man who will treat you properly. You deserve that much. He has to want help and it doesn't sound like he's there yet unfortunately.
Helpful - 0
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