i am totally flipping out

[deannalynne85]

I am not even thru my first 24 hours and am just freaking out so badly.  It's 6:00 so Dr. office is closed and I did it today.  I have to do it tomorrow to.  I have to do this or I am going to lose what I do have left in my life that this addiction hasnt destroyed.  I am just so scared.  So So scared.

[quitinoxys]

Hey don't beat your your setback, I went 28 days and the same thing happened to me. I was looking for my doctors number in my night stand and found 2 10 mg percs. I was in so much pain so I took one and after I felt like a failure. All my friends here helped me through this setback and now I am 310 days clean from oxys. So you need to get right back on the horse and carry on. In life we addicts will always come up against problems such as this, the key is to learn the tools to help us through the bad times and not use. This is why aftercare is crucial. So you can do this as you have many friends here rooting for you. God Bless---Rick

[criminy]

I'm on day 1, and this isn't the first time:-) screwing up happens but yours was minimal, trust me

[Formerjunkie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQwmjbUp5AU&feature=BFp&list=PL22F9F87A2C911DAF&index=23

a little song to help cheer you up lol, hope it helps at least bring a smile (gotta listen to the lyrics) =P stay with us here and dont stop posting just because you had a little screw, it happens its part of life, though it is serious you cant beat yourself up because thats what lead most of us into addiction in the first place, hope this helps im not great at providing comfort, best wishes to you truely

[Iwant2Bclean]

I know it's really hard to do but try not to think about how bad you feel. The more you think about it the worse your gonna feel. That was always my problem when I would run out of my DOC and start Wd'ing I would think about nothing but how bad I felt. The more I thought about it the worse I got. When I got off Suboxone I told myself I wasn't gonna obsess over how bad I felt and I didn't.  I am 213 days clean and had little to no Wd's. Keep your mind busy. I wish you the very best of luck! Hang in there!!! You CAN do this!!!!

[usarmymedic1]

I was clean off of loratabs for 2 1/2 years and had to go back on narcs due to an increase in pain I had taken oxycodone 45mg 4 times aday I stopped 14 days ago and I am alittle shakey but am full of energy so it all depends on your body deals with it. you are strong I say this becouse you took the first step you can hang in there. OKAY if you end up going to the Dr. don't ask for DOC ask for clonidine .1mg 3 to 4 times aday and tapper .1mg every 2 to 3 days it makes it alot easier to handle the withdawls

stay strong
army strong
medic 1

[gnarly_1]

HI.....its never a good thing when you use but one pill wont set you back much today your probably going to go into acute withdrawal....(the real thing) so expect to be uncoforatable
from here its just lasting it out other then sleep deprivation that makes it seam worst it really dosent get any worst you just have to go threw it for a few days to clean out your system
hang in there....remember a hot bath goes a long way with symptoms and keep posting for support YOU CAN DO THIS.......Gnarly  

[Neicie29]

Hey Lady! When I read your posts the hit me so hard. I am crying for you because I know EXACTLY what you are going through! And I promise you will get through this. You can't beat yourself up over last night, just learn from it try to do better! I myself have actually done same very thing in the past and actually it didn't really slow down my detox. I was done with the really bad stuff by day 4! And you say you feel worse today?! That is a GOOD thing.... I know you think I am crazy but Day 2 has always been the worse for me. Today you have to stay positive. And drink as much water as possible!!! Get up and do something, I know it is hard but just start with 2 minutes of picking up your house or walking outside..just do something! And slowly increase. Also in the past I had a very good friend who told me that every time i thought about taking another pill to get down and do 50 situps! And you know what I thought he was crazy but I did it and honestly after doing about 20 times @50 situps each...... I was afraid to even speak or think or a word that started with V or P! Little did i realize that he know what he was doing, not only was i exercising which helps your metabolism burn but i was determined to find something to keep my mind busy. lol i hope this helps.

I have a lot more I want to tell you but I am going to email you. Give me a few though. but please don't beat yourself up to bad. Everything is gonna be ok!

[TheBigEasy]

Well...you pretty much have 3 options.  1)  Make an appointment, today, with your doctor to explain what you are doing.  He will help you taper down and help ease the WDs.  2)  Check yourself into a detox facility. 3)  Be open and honest with your boyfriend and ask for his help.  What you have decided to do is nothing to be ashamed of.  You have chronic pain and were prescribed these.  It's not like you bought them off the street.  Having the support @ your house to keep your mind off of things is much needed.

[deannalynne85]

I am here....with a little bad news....last night....was rummaging thru the cabinet looking for tylenol and found one pain pill.  I didnt take it at first and I finally gave in.  I am so mad at myself.  I slept last night and felt fine phyically but menatally felt and still fill like a failure....all that work and almost made it thru 24 hours and put one back in my system so here I go again.  You guys, I am so upset with myself.......I want to do this so badly and when I saw that pill I freaked.  My b/f was here so i couldnt get on the sight and it took a half an hour before I took it but I did.  Now I am starting all over.  I failed......I am just so upset I had 24 hours just about under my belt and put that horrid medicine back in my system......please help, i feel worse today then yesterday........

[gnarly_1]

HI.....well first thing is to try to calm down......rather then fight it embrace it for it is not the problem but rater the cure....I agree with the others stay bizzy if you just sit there you tend to be more miserable........this is all about a positive attitude it makes the difference from being uncomfortable to suffering  the hot bath will help you inmore ways then one it will releave most of the symptoms it will relax you and give you somewhere to go when it seams unbearable
remember this is a battle one or lost in ones own mind it is 1/3 physical 2/3 mental be ready to fight it out on both fronts.....your probably not going to be able to sleep get a blacket rool up on the couch play some soft soothing music and lay with your eyes closed it may be the closest thing to sleep you get you can try some sleepytime tea it will help take the edge off the anxiety if nothing else....keep posting were all out her for you I will check back in the morning to see how your doing good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[tgtiffany]

You've come to the right place for support!!!  You can do it!!!  Like everyone said stay busy and keep your mind off it.  That's what helped my husband, also the Thomas recipe helped him a LOT.  And music.  He found his mp3 player and filled it with all his fave music and just listened to it all the time, even all night long to help him sleep.  One foot in front of the other, just keep going.  :)  Remind yourself that you are wonderful and amazing, and when you look in the mirror..just smile.  It helps.  And anytime you are feeling down, come here and post and someone will help pick your spirits back up :)  Keep looking forward to the day when you are finally FREE!!!  It won't be long :)

[quitinoxys]

Hang in there it does get better. Have you tried to take any vitamins and/or herbal supplements? Try the Thomas recipe or the Amino Acid protocol (you can find it on the right of this page) it helped me through some bad times when I was going through w/d. I know it's scary but you can get through this so keep posting as we are all here to help you through this. I will pray for you and ask God to guide you through your journey to sobriety. God Bless---Rick

[deannalynne85]

okay....out of tub....that was a job...idk if i feel better or not but I am clean.  I have been sweating so much.  I just know that its going to be a long night. Just the bath alone was a chore.   I like my sleep and now have to get used to not taking a pill before bedtime.....okay, cant freak out again......I did take bath, even used my victoria secret lotion...lol...got dressed, well sweats and t, now i have to brush my hair out and that task is accomplished.  I am just so grateful for all you wonderful people and this site.  I would have never even gotten thru today if it wasnt for the people on here.......

[mis29]

good luck Im gonna try the hot bath right now! it is only my second day being clean.  just keep thinking i never want to feel like this again.we can do this!!!!

[Ashelen]

They are beautiful, and YOU are beautiful...you can beat this.it takes blood sweat and tears but you'll rise up a new person in a few days...just imagine how different your life will be in a GOOD way!

I promise you'll make it..I DO remember how hard the first day was...but once you've resigned yourself to this - you will find the days passing. don't give yourself any chance to slip backward, you just have to do it...you can do it...you WILL do it.

enjoy the bath, it will help I promise

[deannalynne85]

btw i am counting hours clean.....and i know this is just the beginning because from all i read on here its just going to get worse, but i will say this is the best sight i have found for some great advice and I hope to be giving advice one day not constantly flipping out and counting hours then days.....

[deannalynne85]

My goal is to be competely and totally drug free for thirty days when summer vacation starts.  Hell, I cant even get thru this day.....but I am taking your advice ashelen I am going to go take a hot bath right now. Dirty tub or not....I have to do something or I will be calling a freind for a loan and I will be headed to dr. tomorrow and i have to do this.  I have to.  I want to know me again. I posted my picture so u can put a face with all my freakiness on here...lol....those are my kids beside me.  Cheyanne will be 16 May 15 and Jalen will be 13 on July 6. They are always telling me how loud I am and just different things....and i know its all due to the pills.  I was such a different person 8 years ago.  I have hit rock bottom and am really trying to climb my way out....its just so dang hard.  

[Ashelen]

yes the withdrawals are horrible but temporary - a handful of days....being chained lasts...and lasts...and lasts....

bath in a dirty tub is better than no bath!

Watch a good movie, something you know isn't going to be about pills - listen to some good music that speaks to your heart!

[GMcp]

yup, freaking out is no fun, im still freaking, lol and its day 9? i think man i just stoped counting cuz i hate thinking about it but just stay busy, go for a big long walk thats what i did all week, it was hard cuz i was SOOOOO dope sick and tierd but i had to n e way to get my kids to school so i had to and oh man it helps it really dose go for a long walk the have a hot bath drink some tea and watch a funny movie you can do this

[deannalynne85]

I am watching tv right now....didnt help dr. phil was on and it was about a girl hooked on oxys and xanax....why is it all I can think about and clock watch.  This day has been horrid and i havent even made it 24 hours......Its raining here so i cant go for a walk or I would.  Honestly, I dont even want to get out of bed.  Bath...that is good but my bathtub is so dirty..lol.....I truely feel as if I am going crazy.....thank you so much for answering me.  I am just so messed up at the moment i dont know what I am even doing.  My head hurts as does everything else on my body....I am sure the pain is not as bad as I think but i literally hurt from head to toe. I am just so scared...so, so scared.....i dont want to be this person chained to that stupid pill bottle anymore but this wd is horrid

[Ashelen]

hey girl hang inthere. You can make it. I have a post if you scroll down or go to page where I was freaking out on day 1 too...but I made it, and you can too...deep healing breaths. do you have netflix? watch desperate housewives from the beginning - it's a good show and it will keep you distracted. take a bath, do what you can to get your mind focused on something not pill-related....can you go for a walk now that it's the evening?