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399052 tn?1259621083

i relapsed! =(

I've been on suboxone for a few months,last night i popped some tramadol! Many tramadol at that. i was having such a bad day and had to got to a bar/club to watch a few bands play...which every time i went to these shows (i know many ppl in metal bands) i was always pilled out. I didn't know how i was going to function plus the worse day ever did not help me. So i got a case on the "fck it's" and threw (6) 50mg pills into my mouth before leaving. I felt something but not much does subxone block that? i'm surprised i didn't puke! Since i haven't had one in about 3 months! Ok guilt has set in bad since my dr. just ok'ed me for a month visit now since i've been doing so good! Am i going to take them again--NO!! I think i got it outta my system and this was one 1st break down. I'm worried that i will disappoint my dr. as well has feeling disappointed myself. 2 weeks is the next time i go see him. I wonder if it will show in my urine test. I can't believ i've failed. I hate fighting this alone. I need a freind someone i can support and who will and want to support me with this fight. I'm sad,depressed upset and alone. can anyone relate and or advice?
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Avatar universal
were you having cravings hun?
or maybe just being back in the scene of your drug use days brought it all on?  if this is the case, maybe best to avoid this until your stronger?
why do YOU think you took them,..and yes, sub is a blocker, and apparently for tram too..so you would be a wasted effort...
why do you have tramadol around?  (not judging, just trying to help)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I heard something yesterday that kinda made sense..relaps is a part of getting clean. I don't know about that, but the worse you feel about relapsing, the stronger you become...I guess. I'm not helping much. But I don't anyone on here who has not relapsed. Not one. So...
You know now that I said that, 10 people will chime in saying: I didn't~I didn't!! :)
Anyhow, pick yourself up and dust off...it's going to be a bumpy night..You will be fine. Look, the sun came up today and it probably will tomorrow. See, fresh start. Ain't God Good?
Take Care,
Newgirl
Helpful - 0
399052 tn?1259621083
nice to know i'm alone not going to be mad that noone has and words to help me.
Helpful - 0
217599 tn?1202850952
I don't know about it showing up in your urine, but i do kn ow about cheating.  nearly all of us have done it at least once.  the guilt you feel will help you to stay away from them, and the fact that they didn't do anything for you, also.  don't beat yourself up over this, just use it as a lesson to learn from and grow on.  you wiill be fine if you really decide that it is the last time.  my prayers are with you.

Lucy
Helpful - 0
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