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1076404 tn?1259197655

im back...

well my life took me back into the drugs... my girlfriend cheated on me. yes the girl i tried so hard to quit these drugs for. left me and said she didnt want to date a drug addict. she was helping me at first but i told her that its getting worse and i dont want to put her threw it. its a long story of what happened, but now i was thrown into this addiction recovery alone, i lost my job, i dropped my classes at school. i see happy sober people walking around and i just loose it. i wonder how the hell can they be so happy? people say life is just a series of obstacles, why the hell does my life have to have so many? if i were to even begin telling you guys how my childhood was and how my life is right now, you would be surprised why i havent killed myself yet. dont think that im saying no one can quit... im saying i cant. i want to thank you guys for the support when i first started posting and going threw it. but the only thing that can save me now is a miracle. but now i dont really care what happens because i was told by the girl i wanted to marry some day, that im just a drug addict. she said how can she have kids with someone like me. i started crying and she said dont feel sorry for yourself you got yourself in this mess. and shes right, no one is to blame expect my own dumb self. there was a moment in my life where i said the drugs havent completely taken over me, that there was some part of me still alive inside. but that person is gone now, the drugs have taken everything i have... and one day they will take my life. if you are reading this and currently doing drugs or thinking about it... quit now, if you take as much as i did and for as long as i did. you will be in my shoes right now. i took 15 pills of 750mg vicodin everyday for years. dont let the drugs take you over... dont end up like me
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1095579 tn?1269470549
Man. I am truly sorry for all your pain. I know drugs have ruined many lives.But please try to find a way to have some kind of hope.For me it too has been a hard road but I do believe that someday I will get on the other side of this and will be able to help out others in the same mess
Perhaps one day you can too. It really is never to late to start again.
I know it's hard to see right now but I do believe that God can use your hurt and for his Good.
Please hang in there. I will pray that this might help .
Your friend
Steve
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Reading this makes me so freaking grateful I'm no longer a active addict.. if you have a death wish over a breakup and find your life so meaningless I feel for you but I can not help you for You have to have a desire above even breathing to get clean.. was the judgment harsh I do not know as drug addicts we do many screwed up things but to give into your addiction should not be a alternative.. I hope you find that spark in Your Spirit that wants to live for yourself and the simple pleasure of greeting a new day.. I wish you well on your journey and I absolutely mean this.. lesa
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Me too man... Lost my girl... Dropped outta classes.. Always fighting at home... I'm down to 3 pills today... I was taking 10 a day most days... It's so crazy man I feel for you dude I've been down that same road you're in now... I never pick up my phone anymore most days I don't even leave the house... Hate lying in bed hate getting outta it... Hate food and always hungry or I'm hungry and can't eat... I see happy peeps too and I wonder why the hell I can't be happy too... I'm so tired of this... I hope the light at the end comes soon though cuz in struggling to get to it... At least I'm quitting... That's a positive because I could still be taking 20 ****** pills a day and still feel just as bad... The latter route, well there's no way out... Here's to a new life for reals!!!

I know you can quit man... I'm so intent on quitting... Every day I feel a bit better, two weeks ago I was laying in be for two days throwing up... The past week at least I've been leaving the house and being active... Slowly resuming my life. Homie we can do this!  
Helpful - 0
1076404 tn?1259197655
just a break up... nah dude. we were dating for 8 months i told her i wanted to marry her someday, we talked about getting house together having some dirtbikes in the garage and some trucks in the driveway. with kids running around and family road trips. i looked at that future as a goal to reach some day, so i quit to have that future. thats gone now, just a girl? nah she was my future wife... i finally met that one person for me, i finally met that one special person. but because of this drug addiction... she left. i know quitting for someone besides yourself was stupid. but i couldnt quit for myself, i needed a prize at the end of the road, i needed someone to help me. my family, my friends, they are all gone... they left because they didnt want to deal with my drug problem. drugs drove everyone away from me. now its driving me away... i dont want to live in this drug addicted body. i dont want to have this drug addicted brain. i want my girlfriend back... i want family back... but they are all gone now. drugs took them away from me. i pushed them away by doing this drug for so long
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hey, don't want to sound stereotypical but there are literally millions of girls out there and I'm willing to bet at least a few you would want to commit too.  The only thing that's important out of all this is to be happy with yourself first.  Only then can you truly make someone else happy; if that means stopping meds and thats a good thing, great...go for it.  I learned that stopping meds was only one facet of my recovery.  There will be other jobs, you can go back to school and once your feeling good, you'll meet someone. Concentrate on yourself right now and only you.

Take Care
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
man you really have to find a new reason to quit, quiting for someone else never works, and now thats she is gone its not even a option. S0orry to say, but why argue over what she "was" thats all it is now "was" you have to move past that. If you even have a chance at getting her back, you already know its only gonna be if you are clean. Man 8 months is cool but come on, People divorce after 25 years, yeah it hurts but either move forward or stay in the now, because the past is history.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
All bad advice was given to you. Your hurting and thats normal. But she does want them things, but with someone who CAN give them to her. You cant blame her for wanting a good life. She cant have that with you.

What about you do you want them things? Trucks, house..family trips? You can have them if you truely want them and arent day dreaming.

There are many women out there, maybe she WAS the one. Get your life together and go get her..show her how much she means to you. Dont just tell her.
Helpful - 0
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