I tried what you're talking about. Started having serious back problems and the doc's said "this is your life sweetheart", "go home and lay on the couch and don't pick up uor babies". I thought if I died their dad could marry someone who could be a real mom. I'm so glad that I didn't succeed! I was so very wrong. Yeah, chronic pain has been my life but I was a good mom and their dad, now my ex, would not have given them the life they deserved. I have felt that blackness. Call a hotline or a friend. If you're texting goodby, someone must care! Call one and just talk then find a professional to help you find the light again. Antidepressants take time to work and they might not have found the right one for you. Stay with us Martin, it is worth it.
Shoot, I can't sleep, just talk to me. My sister suffers depression but she has never faced that black hole. I know where your head is, talk to me...
Martin, please come back and talk to us. We care about you.
Martin please, please, please call someone to come be with you.
You need to get to the hospital.
Please keep talking with us.
There is always hope. Don't give up.
There is always a way out of every situation.
Please call an ambulance.
Much love,
GOD loves you and so do we.
Please listen to me, besides attempting suicide I am a nurse if that helps working mainly in mental health.
Right from conception us humans have survivor instinct, we fight for our lives.
In the womb we take from our mum all that we need in order to live and grow even if that leaves the mother lacking that she does not have enough of whatever because we have depleted her of eg iron and as a result becomes deficient and requires supplements.
And then we live our lives with our built in survivor instinct. You know the flight or fight mode. Being in a situation that could cause harm, the 'gut feeling' we get to warn us. Or that surge of adrenaline that makes us be able to get out of harms way and we've all heard the story about someone lifting a car of a person.
So right now your survivor mode has been turned down a fair bit. You've shared with us some of what you're going through.
So in actual fight your mind because of what you've been going through is telling you the opposite of what it was designed to do.
Your mind is not well right now, it's not performing the role it should be right now. And the signs and symptoms that your mind/brain is definitely not doing what it was designed to do, is you saying you don't want to live.
When a part of our body is not working as it ought to you will realise this by how you are feeling- signs and symptoms and if it warrants it you will take yourself along to the dr and if it's serious enough hospital.
Unfortunately when our brain isn't working as it should, psychologically often we don't recognise this as we would like I just said when some other part of our body is playing up.
Because when our brain is playing up psychologically and it's telling us to die and not live a lot of our rational thinking etc goes out the window. Because our brain is not working as it should and that is where you are at.
I see you are in the UK fortunately have a health system like here in Australia where help at a hospital is freely available.
You might not want to go, because you're probably thinking-what's the point, it can't change what's happened, (about your children etc), going to hospital is not going to fix the physical situations that are going on in your life. You've made your mind up etc etc.
But as I have tried to explain, you are feeling suicidal because your brain has been put through so much that your brain is not functioning the way it was designed to and in actual fact is in the medical profession call when someone's brain is telling them to die a Medical Emergency, your life is in danger.....think of someone who's having a heart attack- a Medical Rmergency. Their heart has stopped functioning the way it should and this is shown through the signs and symptoms they ate having.
You are having a Brain Attack and this is being displayed through signs and symptoms, feeling depressed, suicidal etc etc.
Please if not for you but for me and the people that have reached out to you I want you to call an ambulance.
Because you need to be in hospital until your brain begins to function the way it was made to.
Then when you get to the hospital could you please post a message so that we know you have made it to the hospital.
Please do this, what do you have to lose?
Please let us know when you get to the hospital. Please go to the hospital, it is where you need to be. ThankYou for posting, for sharing with us.
I have never posted on here, I just pop in everyday and read other people's posts that have been brave enough to post.
You posted on here for a reason and each of us that have posted came to this site today for a reason. To help and support those that post.
We won't have succeeded in helping you if you don't go to the hospital.
We will be waiting from your post from the hospital.
Your life matters. You may not see it now. But you really have a future full of opportunities. Stop what you are doing. Know that people care. We care. This forum is full of folks who care about you and we don't even know you. Unconditional support my friend. We offer this to you.
oh and im listening to my hero Elvis
Hi there -
Please continue to post and get support, but I just wanted to let everyone know we can't allow anyone to give advice on how to commit suicide should anyone be so inclined.
Thanks,
Emily
yeah i do cos im drinking looking at the stack of pillls and texting people good bye
But you posted here. You keep coming back to respond, so you have curiosity, even in your current state. What were you hopeing to find here? When I feel like you do right now, I just wait. It's got me to here from there, so it must be working. His can we help?
im not doing anything ive lost all interest in everything im not bothered about anything
I'm sure you have, if everyone is saying that giving it time and asking for help is what will remind you of reasons to live, maybe they are right. When I finally quit opiates, I had to live by other people's hope and belief in my healing. I honestly didn't believe them, but had run out of options. I lived through a few pretty intense times myself. I'd say my psychotic break was what humbled me enough to surrender. Filled with ego and personal will, expectations become masters. Judging the world half empty, appreciation fades into tattered memories. There must be a greater purpose to life than a job or a woman, a house or a business. See your life as you were just born, no history, no broken dreams of a future. You have ore opportunity than a vast majority of humans on earth. I know this, because you are on a computer of some kind talking to me. It's all about perspective, I say the glass is half full of water and half full of air, it's always full. Is that more along the lines of what you are asking for?
What are you doing to better you? I don't mean financially or socially, I mean you the sentient being, mind, emotion, body and spirit?
thanks for all you kind words but ive lost the battle and dont wont to feel like this anymore
I have taken 5 lethal overdoses, heart arrested etc. On 'life support' for days etc. Yes my aim was to die. Was I happy when I woke up alive? No.
Am I happy now? YES.
I was going through so much, which is what you are going through right now.
Reality is the situations will change. Just not quick enough when you feel the way you do.
I don't believe you are selfish, someone who wants to die is going through so much that our minds tell us to end our life.
Please go to a hospital, somewhere where you can be kept safe until these feelings pass.
But think of this....your at a dark space this moment...will tomorrow be different??? Your right as this will cause more hurt....your just hurting...its a normal feeling, it *****, but we dont stay in this place....keep that in mind....please
Hey Martin, that's not the answer. What is it that needs time friend?
thats doesnt really help does it dont you think ive had every one say its the cowards way out and things will get better and it just needs time
Just because you can't see the road as it winds in front of you, doesn't mean the road is gone. I have wished I was dead, but I know I wouldn't escape my pain, but would give it to those around me. I don't want my last act to cause even more suffering. Anyway, I am glad I am alive today, I had to ask for help, which was very humbling, but I'm glad I did and so are those who love me.
im just in a really dark place at moment have been for the last 5 months just spent xmas alone not seen my kids got married in july and she left 6 weeks later lost my job 2 months ago to add to it went to doctors got some happy pills but they dont work ive been buying 2 packets of tablets at a time from the shops and got quite a bag full now and to be honest i just dont know see any other way for me i just cant cope anymore
What is going on? Please talk to us
Depends on many factors, why do you ask?