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Avatar universal

it's not rainbows and unicorns, it just s**ks

day two and it is not like the reality or variety/talk shows. been dope sick too many times and know this is going to be rough. The books and shows make the addiction look like the hardest part of an addicts life and detox/recovery is all unicorns and rainbows. I wish they had a few of us to tell what recovery and remission is really like, hard work and it really s**ks. Day two, need some support friends. I am losing my bearings real fast and still too sick to go to a meeting, which is my first real goal.I am really dope sick right now, begging my partner to just find me a half a perc, but thank God, she just holds me and says time baby, we"ll get through this. She doesn't use and I have put her through so much and feel guilty that she has to share this crappy w/d with me. Never again if I get through this one, but then I have said that before. I want freedom.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
You have to want that freedom more than that perc. It's day two and if you break down now, guess what, you'll have to go through this again. Do you ever look at your partner and wonder how she gets through life without pills? Or look at people on commercials and think there is no way they are genuinely that happy/energetic/etc. they MUST be on pills? I used to, and after many years on way too much oxycodone, I can safely say that there is a life after pills and you too will be happy just being "YOU".

Who needs unicorns and rainbows?? :) Sounds like you have a wonderful partner, don't give one more day of yourself to those pills. It *****, I know. That doesn't help...instead of wishing it were over, try to embrace it, do whatever to pass the time, but LISTEN to your body, this is what the pills have done to it! Make sure you follow the supplements so many post (they really do help!) but know if you truly want freedom, now is the time to get it. This is YOUR life, YOUR freedom, be the partner you know you want to be. Strength to you right now!!
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Avatar universal
Hey there, checking in today! How are you holding up? It's another great day to be clean, right? (yeah, right I'm sure your mind is saying!)

Was just thinking about you and wanted to log in and see how you were doing! Let us know!

spike
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, my name is Kat and I am 8 days clean off of opiates (percs) like you are.  I can feel your pain and the anguish of it all. But, like your profile pic says "Only the strong survive".  We gotta be strong. You can do this. You are so young and have so much more strength than I. I am 54 years old and still fighting this battle. What a shame. But this is the last time for me. It's either get busy living, or get busy dying, and I want to live the rest of my life drug free, with a clear mind, clear eyes to see into my wonderful future that is waiting for me. Do you have all of the supplies you need?  If you need a list of them, write to me, and I'll give some pointers. Good luck honey and God Bless you. And remember...if you have any percs or any other pills, flush them, and don't get anymore! ok? I know you can do this!!  If I can, you can!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You can and will do this!!!!!!!! I am on day 15 coming off of pills and that first week was hell on earth...... After care and support are very important because believe me once you start feeling better your addict part of your brain is going to want that pill again and you have to say no no no no no way in hell will I go backwards. Spike said it so well about watching commercials and people everyday and tell myself there is no way they are that energetic and happy. They have got to be on something. I still think that way because I am not at that happy state yet. I am getting there. Slow and steady wins the race. Us as addicts want a quick fix, but with this there is no quick fix. You have got to be committed and determined. I can't sit here and say I will never use again because I have relapsed so many times, but I know I am going to fight harder than I ever have in the past to really do this thing and find out who I am. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old that needs there REAL mommy, not the one that's super mom on pills but sick on the couch and don't even want them touching me when I don't have my pills. Stay strong you can do this. My husband has also stood by my side. He has NO clue about the withdrawals, he has even recently told me that I don't love him and don't wAnt my family. But I truly have to ignore all that because first and foremost I am doing this for me and then for my family. Time will show him. If he decides to leave well so be it. Me being clean right now is the most important to me because I know the real me is still in me I have just suppressed it for so long. Blessings and prayers for you. Stay strong
Helpful - 0
6668556 tn?1422469105
honey some of us need tough love and need to hear the truth aka me!! lol thanks for your encouraging words!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sorry if I am a little too much "tough love", I just posted something called "thoughts after a year"...it is what helped ME. I just want to encourage you, enough is enough, right? Mentally it S@CKS right now, I know, but take a deep breath and know that is the addiction talking. Look around, take stock of what you DO have and believe it or not, the one thing I realized is that time passes the exact same whether we are w/d-ing or whether we are high. Doesn't feel like that, but it does, so focus on the fact that YOU ARE DOING IT THIS TIME, FOR REALS!! no more excuses, no more guilt, during this mental game, think of this as training for a marathon. This is NOT a sprint, the first few days of training/dieting suck, but you are already there, don't waste what you've got. One minute at a time and anything you can find to take your mind off of the malaise/cramps etc., do it....videos (comedy), music, just trying to walk to the mailbox and back, get some fresh air or sunshine if it is shining where you live. Anything! Then take a long look at your partner, your home, life, and then the mirror. How do you want to look in a year from now? Like this? High? Nah...you want YOU back, and starting right NOW is how you are going to get that person you want to be back. You CAN do this, you ARE doing this. We are here for you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Okay, I needed to hear that. VIC, you are correct, I don't know how to live sober and spike, wow you really slapped me into reality. this is the support I need. I am taking the supplements, drinking lots of Gatorade but.....those moments come and you think it will never be better, or what is life without the percs. Spike, my partner is great and yes, she does it all without and puts up with my cranky, dopesick butt because she waited many years for me to be ready and now I want it. Thank you both and all. I am just in a bad mental place right now and don't know how to feel better and , worse, don't even want to try because of the malaise and cramps. VIC, I will do it this time but I realize I need the we because the me wants it's drugs. I can't put this all on my partner and you all fill those hard times with hope. I sooooo appreciate the straight truth and support. I am blessed.
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
I AM Cheering for YOU!!!

In my world when I came clean back in 2012 c/t off 3 meds it was pure he11 to go through a long and intense detox. Been using off & on for over 45 yrs. NOW I say that the Detox is the easy part (yes it succckks big time) but it is WORKING on staying clean that takes the cake.
Hang in!!! Drink TONS of water and find the vit/min that will help detox out toxins. Get the vit/min that will help relax you at this time. AND the big thing is to get into that Aftercare. This is a "WE" thing not a "ME" thing. The Me is what gets us in trouble. You almost have to change your way of thinking and stay away from any thing that causes Triggers like People, Places and Things.
YOU CAN DO IT THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
Bless
Helpful - 0
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