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Avatar universal

just starting here

Came upon this site and had no where else to go. First day of having nothing. Feel terrible but have been thru this before. Why do I let myself go thru this every month?? I get my scrip and take them all in a week, then end up here feeling like this. It has only to do with the pain in my HEAD....of wanting to feel SOMETHING..ANYTHING but the way I feel about myself when I am not on anything. Please give me advice as I am lost.
26 Responses
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Avatar universal
Day 3 and all I have had is an ativan. I do appreciate all the comments and support. I had no idea that coming off benzo's were so dangerous. What I feel I am craving though is vicodin. I was on four of the blue xanax daily which I thought were .1 or tens as I have heard them called. Kept somewhat busy today and it helped fill in the huge gaps of time. Still thinking of taking a suboxone if I get one. Don't give up on me yet though!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just read all the posts. I am not sounding mean in any kind of way but believe me I have been right where your at. What you are trying to do right now is find anything to make you feel better and in a way you are justifying it because they are not the normal pills you usually take. Believe me I know when you feel like hell you will do whatever you can to feel better. I did that for many years so I am not judging you in any kind of way. But if you are ready to be clean than that means of everything. And yes you do need to seek medical help coming off of benzos. Goto the er and justbe honest. I did that one time and they admitted me for 3 days and gave me meds to help with the withdrawals. YOU CAN DO THIS, BUT IT ALL STARTS IN YOUR MIND AND YOU TRULY HAVE TO WANT IT. we on here have been through all that you are going through. I am praying for you. Today is day 5 clean for me it's not easy but I am doing this thing this time no excuses.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Are you having withdrawl symptoms from both opiates and benzos?

If you are withdrawing from benzos- the Xanax you need urgent medical care. Failure to do so can lead to seizures and much worse.

You wrote that you are alone. This cannot get anymore dangerous.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Trying hard to get thru these next days. Worse part is waking up and knowing there is nothing for me to take to feel LESS of what I am feeling....both emotionally and physically. Mainly emotionally I think. Those pills make everything seem like it will be okay, it will be okay. I live alone so no one to check up on me. Emotional pain....yes. I like myself and my life so much better when I am on them. I know you all know what I mean.
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1656987798
Hun 4mgs of  xanax for years is no joke cold turkey. Benzos need to be
tapered.
There is risk of seizure and your anxiety and panic attacks will definitely increase.
Do you plan to stay clean or are you just waiting for your next refills??

Self medicating is not the answer, with ativan or suboxone.

Hun opiates numb all your feelings. You are using to push your emotional pain deep down into your soul. Get counseling, attend support groups, church,
Healthy lifestyle, stay away from " your neighbors, friends" who are also using.
Recovery is a marathon not a sprint.
There is freedom from the chains and bondage of addiction.
There is always hope.
Keep the faith,
Debbie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi reading your posts are you having withdrawl symptoms from not being able to take Xanax? Or withdrawl symptoms from not taking opiates?

Because as concerned people have already posted, it is extremely dangerous to withdraw from any benzo without medical help. Lyon risk seizures and possible death. And you should not take a wait and see approach if you are withdrawing from a benzo.

You require immediate medical care.

I note you wrote you have some Ativan, but again it is a different benzo to what you were taking and I'm guessing you have limited supply/access.

Please heed the advice that has been given to you. Everyone has told you ct of opiates is doable but in no way is withdrawing from a benzo.
Helpful - 0
10996785 tn?1432812977
Hey my bad. Only day 2, taking ativan. Well that's what I took in detox under professional care. You really should seek out a doctor to help you. One that won't give you pills. You should go to your ER if possible. You sound like there is zero direction. No plan while taking pills from your friends. Ativan is in the same class as Xanax. You have a big uphill battle on your hands. Those benzo's are like playing with dynamite. You better listen. Good Luck.
Helpful - 0
10996785 tn?1432812977
Hey susie. Yeah atthebeach is right. I don't think you're taking 40mg of Xanax at least I hope not. Now that you are late into day 4 you should be feeling crappy but if you hang in there you will feel a bit better soon. Xanax was part of my problem and after 10 days I was on my own. No, not done with detox but I was clean and moving forward. Now I don't mean to sound tough on you but you really should just give up on looking forward to your rescue drugs. If you want to be sober now would be the time. Keep posting and stay true to yourself. You can do it. Best of Luck. We are here for you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Maybe I am saying it wrong. The xanax 1's the blue ones. Was prescribed four of those daily. Very high strung person. Took 2 ativans and it took the edge off. Almost six thirty at night and I am always so glad to see night come....its closer to bedtime. One of the few times I am happy is when I sleep. But then have to wake up and fight all over again with the no pills, the panic attacks. I will admit that I still hope my friend makes his way down with suboxone.
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1656987798
4 - 10mgs of xanax???
xanax doesn't come in 10 mg pills or sticks.
Xanax is dangerous to come off of cold turkey.
Way worse than vicodin.
How much xanax are you on ?  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Still dont have anything, dont know if my friend was able to get a suboxone. Watching the clock. My neighbor gave me four ativan to help me thru the xanax withdrawl. Took 3 of them already. I do appreciate all of your advice here. Being in the second day is hard. What symptoms have you all experienced in withdrawl? Mine is mainly diarrhea, dont want to eat, feeling out of control, RLS, really more of a RBS restless body syndrome. Cant get comfortable. Tapering down on the sweats though. So tell me your experiences.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello, been right where you are at. I am on day 4 and yes it does suck. I actually told my doctor not to prescribe me anymore because I was becoming addicted. It's like doctor day each month was like Christmas for me. I would get my klonopin and 120 Percocet 10mg and eat them all up I. A week sometimes even less than a week. It wasn't for pain anymore it was not even to get high it was to just feel normal. You have got to cut off all supplies. Your doctor and if you buy on the street cut them off too. Maybe if your honest with your doctor they can prescribe you different meds to help with the withdrawal process. I wish I would have done that, I just simply told him not to prescribe me anymore. YOU CAN DO THIS. it's tough but it's worth it.
Helpful - 0
11318065 tn?1462984479
Yes suboxone is a drug!  People use it come off of heroin and other opiates.  It is also prescribed for pain to some people. Look up the "Thomas Recipe" on here and it will tell you about supplements that will help a bit with detox... they are for the opiate detox..  I am taking a bunch of supplements now because Im detoxing from effexor but during opiate detox I used Stress B Complex, a really good multi vitamin and then some immodium for any diarrhea.  Get some Epsom Salts too so you can take a bath with them!  It will help restlessness and a bit with anxiety!!!  Im not sure about the benzo withdrawal...Im sure someone will be along that might have some suggestions for that!  Ive never taken xanax so Im not quite sure if 40 mg is a high dose or not but I do know that all benzos should be tapered off of!  DO you live with someone else or is someone coming over to check on you during detox?  Im just concerned because I know that benzo detox can be rough and cause seizures in some people!  Just want to be sure that you are being checked up on!!!  Keep posting!!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Taking as prescribed 4 10mg daily of xanax....ran out. Is suboxone a drug? Doesn't it help to get you off other things? What should I be doing and what supplements needed right now?
Helpful - 0
11318065 tn?1462984479
Hey terpsusie!  Please dont use the suboxone!  It is an opiate and like slneedshelp said it is much worse to come off of!!! You can get through the opiate withdrawal with patience and some supplements!  The benzos can be more problematic to withdraw from!  How much xanax were you taking when you quit?  Im more concerned about that!  Please dont add another drug to the mix!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
don't take the suboxone it is worse to come off of. You will just be prolonging the withdraw. If you can just stick it out and you will feel better in a couple days.you will have to start all over again if you take the sub.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Rough morning with diarrhea but not as bad as I have been before. Cricket, yes I am detoxing from both meds...not a choice but a have to because I am out. A friend of mine is supposed to bring me a suboxone today if possible..its the shred of hope I cling to today. Detoxing from both and I feel I need a little help. Someone please tell me if suboxone is a drug or isn't it? I have read both.
Helpful - 0
11318065 tn?1462984479
Morning!  Hope this finds you feeling a bit better!  Being on the xanax will help you through the opiate withdrawal a bit...they will at least relieve some of the edginess and help you sleep!  I am on Ativan prescribed by my psych Dr and they helped me through it!  But be careful of them!  And dont try to detox from both at the same time!  Benzo withdrawals can be very dangerous!  I sure understand when you say the pills become a substitute for relationships!  My last 2 years on them all I did was go to work and come home and spend the time with my pills!  I avoided family functions and friends!  But that is no way to live and the pills end up becoming a monster instead of a friend!  Yes, it will take awhile to remember who you are without them butyou can do it!!!  And life is so much better on the other side!!!  Keep on posting and let us know how you are!!!  XO Karen
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for the support everyone. Still hanging in there, but it's truly only because I have no choice. I decided to be honest on this site. Some of the questions answered...yes, on both xanax and vicodin. Been on the xanax for many yrs. and the vic's for about two. Started with true pain, now its just for my brain. A reward for my brain. I am recently on my own at the age of 59. Husband left, daughter problems so not talking. It's like they...the pills, have become a substitute for relationships. Or, at least I like myself a lot more when using. My thought patterns change in about twenty minutes and I can breathe both literally and figuratively. I dont quite hate my life afterwords. I wait to pick up the vicodin as if it will be a vacation from my thoughts. I enjoy nothing without them. Wow...cannot believe how honest I am being here. Thank you again.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am on day 3 of my first attempt to quit.  Feeling much better than days 1 and 2, but do worry about my normal habit of coming home from the office and taking one. I am planning on going straight to the gym from work to try to break this cycle. I don't like the pills anymore. The buzz factor wore off a long time ago. And I did have true pain and a medical need, but found a doc who resolved the root and have been pain free for about a month. I guess what I'm saying is change up your routine so you will be busy and away from the pills when you want one, and like the others suggested cut your source. I feel like the pills lie, like a siren song. They call out to you and then fail to deliver, and then you end up shipwrecked in your life. My relationship with them was like like, then love hate, and then finally hate hate.  I don't want to be controlled by a drug.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey, terp. Your breathing issues are just anxiety from pill detox. Yup, we've all had that.

Great advice above. Are you going to tell the dr no more? Are you going to delete your other contacts? Are you willing to do aftercare so you won't have to go thru this again?

Xanax wds are WORSE than opiate wds. But, if you are on them regularly you will need to taper those as they can cause seizures.
Helpful - 0
11318065 tn?1462984479
Are you on pain meds or xanax or both??  I think some of the breathing stuff comes from the anxiety of being out of pills!! It's not an easy road to quit but it sure is a good one!!
Helpful - 0
11318065 tn?1462984479
Are you on pain meds or xanax or both??  I think some of the breathing stuff comes from the anxiety of being out of pills!! It's not an easy road to quit but it sure is a good one!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for the comments. I am jumping on here just to DO something. Yes, it is for pain management and is thru that kind of dr. I do not need them at this point but hate to say no. Was in hospital for back pain due to a nerve on a bone. I too, have spent money on outside drugs and have  been broke due to it. Right now counting my days till my xanax is due. I hate the sweats and feeling antsy the worst. Does anyone else have problems with breathing good after stopping the pills??
Helpful - 0
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