kicked my son out on the street

[islandcat]

I'm new here. I am going through tough times with my 23 yr old son. He was jobless and took him in. He is addicted to oxy, percs and pretty much any type of pill. Did not know this.  He has good days where not sure he is taking anything as he will never admit to it. Then days on end where he is high and abusive to me. Then the days on end when he sleeps for 4 or 5 days straight, detoxing I guess. I have talked to drug counsellors to understand these drugs better. I have done everything I can to help him but he wont even admit to his habit let alone help himself.  I find pills everywhere and worry about my granddaughter finding them. Last nite did me in when I found out he had stolen from a friend, obviously to get money for more pills. I hate myself, it hurts so much to shut the door on him but I cant live like this anymore and am probably responsible for enabling by giving him a bed and food. It doesnt help that I have already lost a child and am always waiting for the call that he has overdosed again. Has anyone else been through this? Not sure this is where to post this but need to understand what is happening with him and these drugs.  I have to be strong because I know the phone calls and his tears to come home will start but cannot trust anything he says anymore.  Any advice would be very welcome.  

[clean_in_ks]

Hi Rossy.....try going to this forum called "Living with an Addict" and post again....you will get current feedback and support that way.  The thread you posted on is a very old thread and won't get much visbility, ok?

I'm 100% in support of your actions....ALL of them...there is no such thing as "enabling them just a little".....cushioning consequences in ANY way only keeps them from the pain of their own choices.

Here's the link for you:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Addiction-Living-with-an-Addict/show/1176

[Jinx_777]

this is a very old thread, feel free to start another one so you will get more support.   click on forums on the top of this page, choose 'living with an addict' and then click on 'new question'.  

rossy1, i may have let her keep her cell phone for emergencies.  is there anyway to get it back to her??  i would have done the same thing, minus the cell phone.  you have to have some boundary where you say 'no more'

my heart aches for you all

[rossy1]

I have 24 years old daughter who has been an addict for last few years. Finally, she agreed to go for rehab and she stayed sober for 90 days. She moved to sober living after rehab but were kicked out because of relapse. She went back to rehab again for 28 days and she felt very sorry for her action. We brought her home after she completed her rehab hoping that she has changed but all our hopes were shattered when she relapsed again in just 1 days. Finally, we kicked her out from our home. We took back her car keys and cell phone hoping that she would realize the mistake some day but at the same time scared that we might lose her because she is so stubborn and tough head. As you mentioned, we also have spent hundred of thousand of dollars of our hard earned money to bring her to normal. We are so scared of the consequences of kicking her out of our house and don't know if we did the right thing. We have tried everything else and it was a last resort for us.

[gjtkawa301]

my beautiful son, 36, is an alcoholic & takes whatever pills he can get....he denies he has a problem.....he has been to rehab twice, he has lived in a homeless shelter, lived in a shed in the dead of a NY winter....and says rehab is uesless, as EVERY addict will relapse.....he lives in another state (thank God), does not work, has had dozens of server positions at restaurants over as many years, lives with a girl who has finally had enough (after living with him for 2 years)......we are literally waiting for "the call" in the middle of the night.....is there ANY hope for him???

[jjjjjen5]

You sound like you have definitely lived it...  good advice.  Here is my situation.. I have twin boys, now 20.  I've sent them to rehab out of state.  After the 1st time of 90 days my son came back home to start smoking heroin again.  His twin went back to rehab and  has 8 months clean lives out of state and works and is progressing and sober thank God.  The twin that's here is so back to day one, smoking the drug in the house, you know all the stuff that goes with it.. lying, stealing... and I can't do it anymore.. he has 2 little brothers here 4 and 5 and I can't let them grow up with this... my husband his step dad wants to file an eviction and if he shows up call the police.... My addict in the home also has a trespass ticket that went to warrant.  2 months ago I sent him back to detox, then to the 90 day program, he immediately got kicked out - I bought him a bus ticket back home to get him out of the city his twin was in...so my question is do I evict him.??  he will not go to rehab.  Is that the right thing..??  I have exhausted all avenues over the last 2 years... now I feel I have to protect the lil brothers and my marriage.  I love my son so much and I know I am an enabler.. I just feel like if I kick him out he will end up dead.... and I will feel guilty.. please give me some advice you seem to have been through this...

[Zabu3]

Wow, i love your comment.  It sounds exactly like my life and I almost thought that i wrote this,
Thank you