Hey, Steph. Wow, I can't tell you how much I relate to your post. It seems thus us eating disorder girls also have addiction issues. I'm learning that more and more. I, too am TERRIFIED of not being thin. And, like you, I gained about 10 lbs or so over the years of my using. Opiates make you lazy after a while, lots of folks gain weight. And although I'm very thin to the outside world still my eating disorder/addict brain thinks I need to lose weight. That said, why do you think you need methadone? So many peeps on here will tell you it's harder coming off that than heroin. The point is, that is just a substitute substance. The real issue is why do we think we need a substance to function. That's the work in recovery. And from what I've learned, that's how people STAY clean. As I'm sure you know, getting clean is easy compared to living life substance free long term.
I suggest AA/NA meetings to get support for the "effed up" thinking. Afterall, take away the substances, we're still addicts and we need help dealing.
Stick around here and keep posting:)
Hi and welcome! Jifmoc said it best...why do you need methadone!!?? A lot of people gain weight while on it! I work at a methadone clinic and can tell you from just what I see and hear the majority of the people on it do gain weight! What about going to an inpatient detox? Do you have insurance? Being inpatient could also help with the other issues and start to get you on the road to recovery!!! Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing!!