music

[helplessangel]

I haven't posted since my fifth day off of subs. Feeling good on my third week. I do notice that every song reminds me of a love song to my DOC. Which is any opiate I could get my hands on. Did anyone else notice this thing about songs?

[helplessangel]

25 days off subs! I did taper though so maybe that's why my appetite came back faster. Today, I feel good. Unfortunately, it's because I got my script of xanax.. It's not a huge amt. 60- 1 mg a day (prescribed) But, I can take my whole script in 2-3 days and I snort them. I couldn't help it! I got it refilled. I know that's falling off but I couldn't stop myself. I feel guilty but also not at the same time.

This especially sad since I've had 3 psychotic episodes from w/ds from the xanax. But its helped my heart to calm down. It doesn't feel like my heart is beating so hard out of my chest. Oh woe the guilt!

[Sonrissa]

Hey Krissy. I would say my appetite came back after a couple of months.  During the first couple of months I ate, and I got hungry, but I did not really feel like eating or enjoy food. Does that make sense?  I was happy when I got my appetite back.  Take care!

[VICourageous]

I remember when I came clean, I would hear a song and figure out that they where talking about drugs all these yrs I have listen to all them songs..Ha!
I took alot of songs and when it was about love I put my Lord in.
Like that song, "How sweet it is to be loved by you" and so many more.

When I first got on here I had already 3 months in. It was in 2012 and I put in my status one time about.."Welcome to the Hotel Addiction, you can check out any time, BUT you may never leave. I did all kind of rearranging songs to fit Addiction with Recovery. Well keep on Trucking forward and NEVER look back.
Bless

[Krissy_123]

Sonrissa how long did it take for you to get a normal apatite back? I'm 5 months off the oxycodone and lost well over 25 pounds and I was thin to begin with and very tall. I can eat a big meal...if I force myself. I still never feel hungry. I pack little things with me through out the day like mixed nuts,crackers with sliced cheese. That's what I've been living on. Doc says it's normal and appitite will come back eventually. Just thought it woulda by now?sorry for asking a question on your post helpless. Again congrats on your recovery!! :))

[Sonrissa]

I had lost a lot of weight during the time I was a using pills.  I was really underweight.  When I stopped, my appetite came back with a vengeance. I did actually gain some weight back. It was good for me since I was not going to buy new clothes. I do need to keep an eye on it though.

Now, I am off to eat some ice cream.  LOL!

[helplessangel]

Thank you all for the positive feedback! It means a lot right now. I've found I can't do much without blasting music in my ears. I haven't really listened to a lot of it in the past years. What about weight gain? I've gotten my appetite back and I seem to be substituting food now. Guess that's better than pills, heroin, or subs...at least temporarily.

[Sonrissa]

I agree with Gnarly.  For the first month or so, everything seemed to remind me of my pills.  Every song, every TV show, every movie, etc.  I love listening to music.  Now, I really get into it.  Soon, you may find yourself even dancing!   :)  congrats on the 3 weeks! Keep it going.  All the best.

[gnarly_1]

HI  well you sound like me in my early recovery everything reminded me of using it is the very sole robbing that addiction does  the obsessions  the cumpushins the resentments are all old addict behaviors  this is why we recamend aftercare so much  just because you stop the pills does not equal recovery your still left with the addict in your head  the only thing that brought me relief was the rooms of N/A with time and working the 12 steps I have lost the very desire to use  it is a simple progam that treats the addict google a N/A meeting near you and get to one............Gnarly

[motye51]

I too found my love of music came back with a vengeance after stopping the subs. Not a bad thing, but your ok...its normal to fantasize....alot of songs reminded me of using for sure....but that will go away....promise!

[Krissy_123]

I've become absolutly engrossed in music In my last 5 months clean. But it doesn't make me think of my pills. Some songs make me feel guilt of the things i had done,some caused grief in the things I've missed out on,some cause love because they remind me of my husband,some cause sadness because they remind me of someone I lost but didn't have the emotions at the time to grieve for them because I was high. The music makes me hate the pills more but never love them. Congrats on 3 weeks!