Have you found needles recently or do you mean just the two years ago? I know my younger sister goes on the nod with methadone. It's a weird effing drug!! One day I can pick her up and take her out (after watching her drink her dose) to the grocery store and to run her errands and she's totally fine. You wouldn't even know she was on a narcotic. Then same thing a different day,totally fine then drinks her dose and bit later she's in the middle of talking to me and she will pass right the heck out and actually start snoring. And I know shes only taken her normal dose. And that she's taken no illegal drugs. She's also on Valium which is another benzo that shouldn't be prescribed with methadone! I'm also an addict and I'll be clean one year next week. So I can tell you forcing him to go to rehab/detox will do absolutely nothing. Unless he wants to be there he will just bide his time and free load until it's time to get out and find a fix. He has to want to do this. Not for you or his dad,or even a place to live. We always always choose our drugs over everything else until that day we wake up and say no more,I can't do this anymore! you have to tell him get it together or leave. If he's not ready he will say "ok I will I promise" then just keep on the way things are and just keep on sucking you dry until you have nothing left to give. Addicts are liars and they selfish. It's an awful way to live,and your baby boy needs to know he doesn't have live this way. Sit down with him and show him this site. I hope and pray things change for him,because we only get so many chances with the drugs then it's lights out forever. ❤️❤️ ~krissy
thank you Jenjen39, it is so easy for me to be played by my son because I am so ignorant to this stuff. In my day it was only alcohol and weed. No one can fool me there but this opiate stuff is so confusing! I can't get straight answers from my son and trouble getting them from his doctor. Very appreciative of all the insight I am receiving.
I know you can override the 10 mgs of Methadone with heroin. The 10 mgs is not high enough to block the heroin. Your son needs a new Dr. Prayers for you both!
Thank you so much Smalltown for your heartfelt words. Wishing you success over addiction and the peace and joy that comes from being free of bondage.
I just wanted to say I cried reading all of this. As an addict I know what I put my poor mother through. She did all she could to help me (I'm 38!) and even though tough love became a part of it, I know she did it to help me. She will always be my rock and I will live the rest of my life knowing what she did was amazing. YOU are an amazing MOM! It's a tough on your side. My mom educated herself in addiction and understood. That's what a lot of family members don't do and that's why they feel helpless. It's a nasty disease and we addicts need support. Not just for the physical but the emotional as well. Getting him into detox sounds like the way it needs to be. That's what I had to do. I wasn't on heroin but pills. Just as bad. I hope everything works out for you. Keep doing what you're doing and I hope you get your amazing son back.
Deb, that last answer was awesome!
your words are so true! Unfortunate but true!
It is a nightmare, but know change CAN happen....that change needs to start with us.
We parents need to learn to love them in a different way, our natural nurturing protective ways, seem to need to come to a temporary end. We never give up & always love them but we need them to figure out only they are in control.
If we're picking up only the tiniest piece of their mess, they have someone to fall back on, they have no need to change.
It's just as tough for us to reach that place, as it is to watch what they are doing to themselves.
I was very sick when i first came here, on the verge of my own break.
i was taught how to stand strong and NOT back down, it didn't feel right, but started to follow advice given to me slowly. If i were to go back in time, i would take action much sooner. It wasn't until i was numb, felt nothing that I could tell my son, I could no longer live his addiction, he wasn't welcome in my life, my home as he was. I let him go. I did it for me, I had no idea that would be our turning point.
If you'd like to talk you can always message me. It's a long hard road, don't do it alone. ..you need to take care of you. ..ok
Hi Nelly
I agree with all that's been said above.
Doesn't sound like your son is playing by the rules.
I believe heroin is still involved.
As jifmoc says take a very firm stand, with boundaries and stand strong.
Your going to need to be his strength... that'll mean being the " bad guy " for awhile.
I'm not sure many if any can just walk away from iv heroin use.
Even with treatment, they NEED to be fully committed. Usually involves long term rehab...therapy.
please be very leary of detox, unless you have a plan in place and he's willing.
So many od's happen after detox. It's going to take time for his mind and body to heal. ..without that taking place, he will be a high risk for relapse.
I'm a mom of a 3 year recovering iv heroin addict.
I gave it all. ..it wasn't until I backed out and made him totally responible for his addiction, that he began to change.
He hated me, but that was ok, because through that anger he finally figured out who needed to take responsibility for HIS addiction.
stay close to others that understand your life right now. ...nothing more painful than feeling alone and watching someone you love in his spot.
We addicts.....we LIE!!!!!!!! Never believe anything an addict says....especially when there full fledged in their disease and actively using!
That's b/c getting clean is more involved than just getting the dope out of our system. It's treating how we got there in the first place. I am a recovering addict....and today I choose to be clean. I have to wonder, our best thinking got us in these situations....where is he going to learn how to live without drugs? It become's many of our's coping mechanism. Something goes wrong, numb it out, something goes right, numb it out, we are addicts...our thinking is different. His doctor doesn't REQUIRE therapy or meetings? Like as in, NO methadone or xanex, if you don't go to at least 3 meetings a week? We have people in our N/A meetings that are there b/c of the outpatient treatment centers and dr's their seeing.
I hate to think about how it must feel as a parent to watch your child doing this to himself.....I know it must be hard....but you have to be harder! Perhaps, letting him fall on his face (which I know is easier said then done, I have 4 kids myself) but if he's staying with you, perhaps you can FORCE him to go to a detox?
He is being drug tested. He is not doing any meetings or therapy. His doctor and we, his parents have told him too. I agree with you. It is time to get off everything by going into a detox center. That is what we have wanted him to do all along. He wanted to give this way a try. It has been at least a year and a half since being treated with the methadone. I will say that he has been a lot better with the nodding..... It used to be every night! Since we told him this was his last chance I haven't seen him like that much the last 2 months until a few days ago.
Thanks. He is 24 and I am in agreement with you on the tough love. One problem is that he doesn't fess up so I don't have proof. I went with him to his doctors appointment 2 months ago because he had a dirty test and the doctor wasn't going to treat him unless I came in. I told the doctor of my concerns that he is using something other than what is prescribed and I took over his methadone and I hand it out to him in the morning. He has control of the gabapentin and zanax. We told our son this was his last chance and that if I see him nodding, scratching.... he would have to move out. It's hard with out proof as to what is causing it. that's why I needed to hear from others. I need to trust my instincts. I am not new to dealing with others addictions. Far from it. I can't stand watching it anymore.
yes. I have seen his prescriptions and talked to his doctor.
Taking xanax with the methadone is probably what's causing his behavior. Usually, the two aren't prescribed together by a doctor. From what I know, Xanax is usually sold by dealers at methadone clinics because taking the two drugs together causes a high similar to heroin. Have you seem the prescription bottles to make sure they're actually both prescribed?
MY OPINION.....find another doctor! His behavior suggests that he's definatley taking more than what's been prescribed. Taking handfuls of opiates made me the energizer bunny....quite dangerous to be mixing dope with the drugs that are supposed to be for getting off the dope! Perhaps it's time to put him in some type of long term treatment center? Is he attending meetings? What type of aftercare is he doing? Is he being drug tested by this doctor that's giving him the methadone? Is this an addiction dr or your regular medical dr? All these questions matter! As far as being "impacted" opiates will do that! Long term opiate use causes massive constipation.
Do you have any short term detox centers in your area? 7 - 10 days where they can at least get the dope out of his system?
Yes, my friend, your son's behavior is not normal for what he is prescribed (although xanax and methadone together is dangerous I don't know why he would be on both) Regardless, there is something he isn't telling you. I don't know how old your son is but you have some boundries to set. If he is living in your house and using, you need to take a firm stand if he is ever going to get clean. Lots of parents are afraid that is they get tough w/ their kids, the kids will go off the deep end, when the opposite is true: if you don't get tough, things get worse (and worse for you.) The only chance he has of getting clean is if HE wants it more than anything and if he has no enablers in his life. Give him that chance.
Also remember that your peace of mind matters. Your feelings matter. This isn't all about him. You deserve to be anxiety free. Please look up alanon. It's for the loved one's of addicts/alcoholics.