Insomnia

[hooklineandsinker]

I'm here posting at 5:30 so that tells you a little about how well I'm sleeping. It's a small improvement over yesterday when I got up at 3:30.

Since I seem to be over the worst of the wd except still no appetite, hyperness, and queasy stomach, it's not bothering me yet.

I think I'm on day 6. Hard to tell because I relapsed on day 3 after 3 days clean. It's been 6 days since then.

But the truly horrible parts, creepy crawlies, chills, vomiting are gone.

Then I read all these posts and there is a lot more to come. And sleeping takes weeks to return to normal?

So what do you do? Just deal with it and walk around feeling brain dead from sleep deprivation for months? I have to work. Go back tomorrow.

Right now, I'm feeling this sense of all is wonderful which I know is going to be a momentary feeling due to actually making it this far and it will pass. What will I have then?

And I want to quit smoking too. How long should I wait?

[salsinator]

Morning Hook,  You must be out East, It's just 6 am here and I get up at about 5:30.  I understand what you are saying about your medical records.  I also work in healthcare, but not as directly as you do.  I am in the orthopaedic surgery field.  Ultimately, the choice is yours.  I am proud of you for going this far on your own, you are doing well.  I love the witch ball comment, too funny.  Have a great visit with your friend today and keep plugging forward.  

[hooklineandsinker]

Day 7. Woke up at 5 am. Took 5 mgs of valium. Stomach still queasy. Back to work tomorrow.

I work two jobs. One is PT in the health care field. People do not understand HIPPA. You do not have to sign a release for another doctor to get information to treat you.

A lot of information is now stored electronically giving any doctor a means to access your records if you go to them seeking treatment.

Just a heads up before you make that decision to have addiction as part of your records.

Texanaddict, I think what you did is probably pretty safe from prying eyes. And congratulations on day 3. Well day 4 today.

I discovered by accident when visiting a new doctor that my medical records at a local hospital were incorrect. She was staring at her computer screen and asked me why I moved out of state in 2003. I didn't.

I asked her what she was looking at and she said my hospital records. I asked her how she could do that and she said she was in the "network of doctors."

When I got home I called the hospital and asked them about it and what were my options. They told me they could transfer me to their IT dept and I could lock my records but warned me only I could unlock them and it would take time and if I had an emergency, they wouldn't be able to access them.

I locked them.

To this day when I go to a doctor, I watch as some PA or nurse or other employee tries bring my records up and can't. They get very aggravated and give me evil looks. :)

You might be shocked to know how many people are looking at your records.

I'm over the witch ball. I think a witch took it. LOL.

Today I have visit a friend. I've been avoiding human contact except in stores and saying hi to my neighbors.

I have to update my profile to reflect my days clean. I haven't been doing it just yet because truthfully I didn't think I'd make it this far.

[salsinator]

First off - Texan, congratulations on 3 days, you are headed in the right direction and you should be proud of yourself for your decision to get clean - right on!

Hook, you are in a touch position.  I can understand you not wanting to seek medical attention for addicition, but the HIPPA laws protect your privacy and your medical records cannot be shared without your permission.  Texan went to a clinic where no one knew him and I am assuming that he will not go back there for standard medical care.  I too went to an addiction specialist in Virginia and I also paid out of pocket, so nothing will go on my insurance or my regular medical records.  Not that it would matter to me because my regular GP knows that I was on suboxone and have an issue with addiciton.  The choice is really yours - there are options.  

I'm sorry that you have low blood pressure, don't know if there are other options available, the clonodine works great.  I was on a patch of 0.2mg/day for 8 days and my bp dropped to 91/65, but due to w/d, it went back up after a few days.  

W/d can make us all feel like we are going out of our mind - part of what makes them so horrible is the mental part.  We are obsessed with how crappy we feel and that just makes us feel worse.  Taking a drive and getting out is the best thing you can do - keep doing that.  Every day will get better.

[Texanaddict]

Hey Hook I went to a doc in the box that is out of my insurance network. In other words it will never be reported to my primary insurance carrier. I told them I have no insurance.  Then i used one of those discount prescription cards you can google and download off the internet for drastic reductions on meds for uninsured. This one time visit will never be on my primary insurance carrier records. Secondly Clonidine is primarily prescribed for high blood pressure. Went off without a hitch and I find WD's much easier. After 10 hours sleep last night, I laid down on the sofa at 3 and woke at 7.
Drawbacks-- the first 30 minutes upon awakening you have this hangover lazy feeling that lasts about 30 minutes. I drink a gateraid and soon feel great and rested
You being 6 days into this you may not need this as you should be about to turn the corner, but lack of sleep prolongs WD's systems.
Your call buddy but it has done wonders for me. This was the first morning in 3 days I woke up and felt pretty good. The last time I quit c/t it was 10 days before I felt somewhat normal again.
My blood pressure has always been 120/75 and Clonidine dropped it maybe 10 points.
I have an electronic blood pressure measure and like you was paranoid of to much of a drop and "addict" on my record. Clonidine is scored so you can take .05 instead of .1
PS  Medical records are private and confidential and the only access must come from your authorization if changing Doctors
Good luck my friend and if your symtons carry on much longer say after 2 weeks I would consider something else.  

[hooklineandsinker]

I am not having addiction on my medical record. That's the end of that discussion. I think anybody who does is making a big mistake. Yeh, I know. It's our secrets that hurt us or whatever. So will having opiate addiction available to any dr who ever treats you in the future. JMO.

I know clonodine helps a lot with the symptoms but took my BP which runs low and it was 103/70. Normal for me is 90/60. If I took clonodine, I'd be crawling on the floor. I wish I could take it.

I've always been an early riser. 5am is a little ridiculous but it's not too much earlier than I would normally get up.

I'm more concerned right now with the OCD thing. I'm still looking for the witch ball. It's making me crazy. It couldn't have disappeared into space. I even went for a Sunday Drive into the country and then back to town and stopped at a tourist center to try to buy another one but they didn't carry Appalachian Glass who make them.

They were all "We're like Tamarack.We have Fenton and Ron Hinkle."  Whatever.

I went to the website. They wanted $11 to ship something that doesn't cost much more than that. I sent them an email about that.

I've got one more place locally to check that might have some.

I think I'm losing my mind to tell you the truth. But as I type this I am LMBO so that's a good sign.

[Texanaddict]

Hey hook the first time I quit back in june I was just like you. 20 mg valium didn't faze me. I took Melatonin on top of that. Drank warm hot chocolate. Still I never slept more than 3 hours at a time if I was lucky. Several nights I moved from 2 beds to the sofa only to wake before dawn in a Lay-Z- boy  
Well I got clean for about 50 days and all was well except for energy levels. Mid August a college friend shows up at my condo and he has a bottle of hydro and oxy and we party hard for 2 weeks and when he leaves I am buying again hooked all over again.
Let me say the first time I quit was a bich because I had abused hydro and oxy for 6 years so it took 2 weeks of hell to feel normal.
I don't have that kind of time now so I went to a doc in the box clinic that didn't know me and confessed to an opiate addiction
I was prescribed Clonidine .1mg 4 a day for 3 days, 3 aday for 3 days and 1 a day for 3 days. plus some mild Klonopine .25. thats about equal to 2.5 mg valium.
Klonopine was a waste but that freakin Clonidine is a blood pressure med also used to help alcohol. opiate, and benzo withdrawels. Call it what you want but I just finished 2 days starting 3 and I feel pretty good this morning. That stuff knocks me out like a light.
I slept 10 hours last night after a 4 hour nap in the afternoon yesterday. It's starting to scare me. I woke at 5 and this time only took a half with some tylanol and It's 10 AM and I just woke up. and I feel pretty good. I can't take this as directed or I sleep all the time.
Clonidine eases body aches and anxiety. I thought how can you have anxiety if your passed out. All our body chemistry are different but go to a 24 hour clinic and confess to opiate addiction. Clinic was 50 bucks and pills were 10 from insurence
Good luck with the sleep as it helps you heal faster

[salsinator]

I went through about two weeks of waking up at about 4 am just wired for sound after my detox - this is PAWS kicking in.  Just know that it does get better.  I tried taking some otc sleeping meds, but they did not do much for me.  Exercise did help and as the days went by, I eventually started sleeping better.  The big one for me was waking up so early and no matter what I did, there was no going back to sleep.  It ***** during the time you are not sleeping, but it will return to normal - I can sleep until 9:30 on weekends again - thank God!  Hang in there.

[hooklineandsinker]

I slept 6 hours last night. I did take 10 mgs valium. That's down from 20 I was taking which wasn't working at all.

I actually fell asleep watching TV and then went to bed. Woke up several times during the night and up again at 5 am.

Here's the latest thing though. I was looking for a piece of blown glass called a witch ball which I had put back in it's box because the cat was using for a toy.

I remember putting it away and where I put it and it wasn't there.

I became totally obsessive/compulsive about this. I tore the place apart and looked in every closet and cabinet. I mean I spent hours doing this. Probably why I slept. I wore myself out.

I could not put it out of my mind. I'd sit down on the couch and start watching a movie and then get up and start hunting all over again.

I mean this thing is not expensive and I can always buy another one.

When I got up this morning and realized what I'd done I felt like I was losing my mind.

I just hope this symptom goes away. I don't want to become one of those people who leaves and has to keep coming back home to make sure they locked the door or something.

[hooklineandsinker]

Okay, I tried that and I ran into a wall. At least it doesn't require eye/hand coordination. Just eyes in the back of your head.

[Kevin_Bacon]

"Back ... and to the left ... Back ... and to the left ..."

[hooklineandsinker]

Trust me, I have no intention of taking ADs. They seem to be the new cure all. I was been given a script for Lexapro some time ago which I reluctantly tried. It didn't make me sleep. It made so hyper I felt like I was climbing the walls.

I mean what if you already have enough serotonin and aren't depressed? Don't you just go into serotonin overload? I think I did. Just my theory on my reaction to it.

No, I will just tough it out. I figure eventually I'll be so exhausted, I'll sleep.

[BIKERDAD1963]

Do not listen about taking anti deppresent to get to sleep unless you want to be addicted to something else. Try some otc sleep aids. If you take a script at this point your body wont get use to your new physical body and you will be relying on something to get you to sleep for a long time. The worst thing to do now is to get another script for something you dont need. Just hang in there. Get sleep when you can at this point

[hooklineandsinker]

Yes, I've been eating a lot of ice cream. It doesn't upset my stomach.

Know about the benzos and tapering and all that. I went CT off 20 mgs valium a day that I took for years. Not as bad as opiates. I was warned I would have seizures, etc, etc, but just a week of no sleep, anxiety and panic attacks.

I'm not taking them any more. Just the first few days per the Thomas recipe.

As for caffeine, I need my daily Pepsi. :)

Will exercise.

[SophieShine]

I'm sorry if valerian roots or melatonine doesn't work on you...Watch out with the valium tho, you really don't wanna get addicted to benzos, you can't stop them CT, you have to taper them off.
For the food, did you try shakes? You can make them yourself with milk and ice cream, add bananas to it, delicious and full of long sugar. Perfect if you exercise.
Best of luck. sophie.

[avisg]

I know exersise will really help so even if its a short walk its does help,Stay away from caffine or limt it to very little .

[hooklineandsinker]

No, I need to work FT. I managed to get off until Tues now. I'm still pretty sick. But better than I was.

The way I was eating those pills at work, you don't have to tell me it will be a big trigger. But if I don't have them, and I don't, at least that is one place I can't get them.

I'm taking valium to sleep right now. Works so so. Have to take 20 mgs. Then still wake up 15 times a night seems like. Have horrible nightmares.

I know, the danger or another addiction. But it is a buzz free drug for me and I normally wouldn't take it at all and will probably not even take any tonight because then I'm just setting myself up for rebound insomnia from it.

I've never had any of those herbs work for me re insomnia. I'll just have to wait to heal or until I get so tired I sleep.

I'm planning on going for a walk today. The problem is I haven't been eating very much and I worry about expending calories I don't have. The drug made me lose weight and I wasn't heavy to begin with.

[SophieShine]

Hi and welcome to the forum. Congrats on your 6 days of freedom!!! Have you tried melatonine or valerian roots for the sleep? They are both natural, cheap, non addictive and seem to work pretty good. Exercise as much as you can, it brings back the natural endorphins and has been a life savior for a lot of us.
Best of luck to you.
xoxoxo. sophie.

[buprenex]

I pretty well suspected that, I was saying you would be nice too, if finances and some support where around to take advantage of it. Only if you could get support it would be better to heal. I agree if you where going into debt etc it would be worse than working. I was hoping if you could. But the stress is of working while still healing is a relapse trigger. Yes we all need some luck. Believe me I do understand where you are. Could you start back part time, if that helps or could work it something to consider.

[hooklineandsinker]

I am going to have to go back to work to survive. That's just the way it is and nothing I can do about it. It's not going to help me to sit here for weeks with no income. I think that will push my stress level even higher than working.

And in a way, it's a deterrent against relapse since I took a week off to go through this and can't take off another one.

So wish me luck. I'm going to need it. :)

[whitie]

it all depends on what you used,  how much and how long. if you used more than a few years, then its going to take a while to get back to normal. sleep will come( 5-10 days to get normal)sooner than other things. fatigue and mental stuff is the hardest to get back. some times that can take a month or two.

not uncommon for some to think that the wd's are not that bad, then suddenly in a day or two get blind sided. best to mentally prepare yourself for a long battle. zero tollerance is the only way to get the job done too.

[buprenex]

You guys are on the mark. It sounds like you maybe you are doing very well. It is true their is much more stuff to come, and I am sure you will have sleeping troubles. I really do not understand this 7 days and w/d are over. There is also PAWS. I have been here before. Having to go to work to SURVIVE is pushing towards relapse. You will want to use to feel better and to get sleep so you can work. I hope you can find a way to take it easy for a while longer. Get stabilized. That is a luxury in this world. Maybe you can borrow money AND GET SUPPORT FROM FAMILY TO HELP NOT TO RELAPSE.

[hooklineandsinker]

Thanks for the support.

I can't tolerate ADs. They make me very hyper. Something wrong with my brain chemistry. :)

Yes, I am getting some sleep. In bits and pieces. I just can't even think about going back to work tomorrow. I feel brain dead.

I can't even imagine two weeks without sleeping. But then again, I might be facing that. You never know with wd.

[corey411]

Hi, I'm up too and thought I'd check on....not much else to do right now lol. The sleep will come back. I had only 2 short relapses after 10 months clean so even though I am up....I will fall back to sleep soon. There are a couple anti depressants that work quickly to help with sleep. I was on Celexa but I think it's Lexipro as well. Instead of taking a month they peak at 2 weeks so I was sleeping better in 5 days after getting on them. Sometimes getting up is better than fighting it in bed. At least your sleeping some. Once when I was detoxing it was 2 weeks of no sleep to 2 hours so it's good your grtting some