omg its been 12 days clean for me this is HUGH for me, Please don't let me relapse

[StayingClean25]

i started off almost 5 years ago on percocets 10s   all down hill from there upto 2 30 mg roxys aday.. anyway i am on day 12 from this vicious roller coaster and im doing better, this is big for me becuase the past 3 months i would go 5 days only then (chip)  use a day out of the week and that lasted ohh maybe 2 months before i was right back into full blown withdrawal.. during my use i have lost 2 new cars, and almost my home,  i still have my home and am buying a new car this up coming weekend, im so happy  also im getting my passport to go to Colombia in the beginning of july, i met somebody and im going out there for a week, also i have a photo shoot in Atlanta july 20th    i am so close to ******* all this up... god i hope i dont put myself through this again..  i really just want to get high  but i have so much going for me..  i feel as though becuase i stopped using  i am givin the oppertunity to do these things, this all happend after coming off of pills   could this be a sign that i need to stop??  please advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rush2112]

if you like who you are now, with so little clean time, i can tell you...if you allow yourself to have months and beyond of clean time, you will like who you are, the life you live etc...so much more...

on the other hand, if you continue your cycle here...you will eventually fall down the rabbit hole...

[msdelight]

I'm so glad you came here to talk this out and totally agree with shell of me's response. Don't forget to change your playmates and playgrounds, and avoid people who are using. To answer your question, I truly believe that the fates come together sometimes to pull us in the right direction. I used for 5 years too. I had no desire or intention to quit, only the nagging feeling that it probably couldn't go on forever. Well suddenly it got more expensive, less available and my connection was fading.My job was in danger of closing.  God dropped a new job in my lap where I could sit down and not have to kill myself like usual. It was an executive opportunity (or so they said ) so I quit ct on the day after starting that job because it didn't seem right using in that situation. I spent 8 months there and even though it didn't work out it was a tremendous gift for my sobriety.  Now I'm back at the old place, working hard, having fun, and not using!

[StayingClean25]

hey!!  your not pestering me, in fact  i love to hear things like this, its very encouraging to me (even in my darkest hours)  i can feel some love..  yes i went to 2 meetings and they we amazing, i havent had a car for almost 2 months becuase of my choices, i also live in the country sort of and honestly have no way to get to a meeting maybe by taxi but its 20 bucks just to go 2 miles, and the nearest meetings are 30 min from me, not an excuse but yes as soon as i get my car this week, im going agin, it really helps!!!

[meegWpaw]

sc, I am still rooting for you!  please take care of yourself, do the right thing, and stay clean!  you have so much enthusiasm and strength inside of you!!!

[AShellof_Me]

" the reasion i posted today was becuase i wanted to use, i wanted the euforia and i thought it was a craving that will pass and insted of obsessing on it, i came here to talk. "

GREAT JOB!!! This is exactly what WE addicts have to do. The MOMENT we begin to feel that craving or there's a trigger... we get to a meeting - or we all a sponsor -- or go work out --- or COME HERE to talk it OUT! Woo hoo!!  So dang proud of YOU right now I can hardly sit still!! :)

You keep at it - you keep applying THAT kind of determination... and KNOW that you know that you know... YOU can't do it alone... I can't but WE CAN!

In the Big Book... there are the Promises of working a recovery program :) I highly recommend you read them... so good. I think perhaps what you are seeing in your life - some of the positive changes are precisely what the promises talk about.  I love it.

You're doing great! One LAST thing...and then i'll stop pestering you. Get to meetings. I've read many of your posts, but I can't remember if you go to meetings. It IS true... Meeting Makers Make it. Sounds silly... cliché... but It's TRUE!
Keep coming back!! KEEP choosing YOU!

[StayingClean25]

thanks for your im put, i know exactly what you said, i understand completely ;)

[slomedz805]

I just had a quick comment.. first congrats on your sober time!!i just wanted to say ive done some research into spiritualism and other maybe you could say esoteric ideologys (im not a expert tho) and yes I do believe when making a hard choice as to using vs fighting and being sober is a situation when making the Right choice is alining with natural law and universal law in return giving you a possitive life experience vs a negative one. I hope that makes sense and i also hope you make the Right choice :) if you dont i can assure you somewhere down the line you will pay the pipper if you know what i mean and that is just my humble opinion. wish you luck much love

[StayingClean25]

dont get me wrong, PAWS is nothing to play with, i know this.. but i guess what im seeing now is something differnt to help me quite all together, and its amazing to me, i never had goals, or ambitions like i have now.. and its sorta scary, the reasion i posted today was becuase i wanted to use, i wanted the euforia and i thought it was a craving that will pass and insted of obsessing on it, i came here to talk.

[StayingClean25]

to be honest, so many times i have tryed to quit, but had nothing to look forward to.. today is so new to me, i just turned 28 on my 17th and i can honestly say, this is me, the sober and clean ME  i have something to hold onto, my life, and now i have things going on that i only could dream about before, now its right in front of me..  the 2nd day i was clean, i got a call from somebody that i havent talked to in 3 years.. 3 YEARS, offering me to go shoot some photos with his team under a waterfall,, then i met somebody new and have plans to vacation in Colombia next month.. so yes i would say the universe is trying to help me stay on the right path? i guess im looking for answers asking if this helps me stay clean, why didnt these things come up when i was firs trying to get clean 3 YEARS ago.. why now? anyway  yes i believe this is my time to shine and fufill my dreams.. this is enough to focus myself on the right  path..  

[ariley13]

I absolutely believe there is something to the whole put good things out there and the universe will reward you. It sounds like you have a lot of positivity and new and exciting opportunities in your life right now. You need to focus on your recovery and put as much into yourself and staying clean as you possibly can. You are the only on who can prevent a relapse. You are doing great, 12 days is something to be proud of. Now, keep up the hard work and let's make this stick so you can reap all of the rewards that life is giving you.

[lild713]

Congrats

[lulu747]

Honey I would say yes, these things are happening for you because you've made positive changes in taking your life back- and the Universe supports that.  I would also say that yes, you are in danger of relapse.  Get your butt to a meeting.  You need to be accountable to real life people at the moment.  Do not go down this road.  Keep moving forward.
Keep posting...
Lu