Need help yall

[Imoverit23]

Hello...this is my first time posting on any of these sites, I am hoping that people who have been in my shoes can give a little advice. I am very dependent on pain Meds. I do not take a lot as most people I've seen. I take maybe 4 1000mg a day tops. Typically less. One 500mg gets me feeling good. I've been taking this amount for close to 2 yrs. I've gone thru periods when I cannot get them & feel crappy for a couple days. But I always go back as soon as I can get more. They make me in a better mood at work & I have energy to get things done around the house. I want to be done though. I'm sick of always worrying about that next pill & wasting my money.
My big thing when quitting is I become so damn lazy. I hate my job every day but when I'm not high im miserable. I'm a bartender. I want my old energy back & positive outlook on life. I also have problems sleeping at night & get restless legs.
My fiancé does not know I have a problem. He thinks I just take occasionally for fun (he does too) so taking days off work & resting is not a option
I want to get my **** together & get healthy ..go to gym quit smoking eat right & quit spending money on these damn things. Any advice will be helpful

[Cricketk92]

Hi and welcome!  You have gotten some good advice so far!  It sure would be good if you could have a few days off but if thats not possible then you just have to trudge through!  The first 5 days are rough and you probably wont feel like doing too much!  Being at work feeling sick wont be much fun but it will keep your mind occupied and off of how sick you feel!!!!  Its going to take a few more days of feeling like not moving in the morning but hang in there cause it does get better!!!  For me after day 4 I was better everyday!  Ive only been clean for 3 weeks but I feel really good except for the nausea at times!  Hang in there....it WILL get worse but then so much better!!!  Just a few more days!!!!  Then start thinking what you can do for aftercare....a therapist, NA/AA meetings, Celebrate Recovery etc....  From what I hear it was keeps all the people with lots of clean time clean!!!!  I have been going to meetings and have found that it really does help!!!!  Keep posting as much as you need to!  We are all routing for you!!!!

[Imoverit23]

Ugh..how long until mornings get easier. They are always the hardest to get moving. I'm on about 17 hrs without. First morning day 1

[jugglin]

It takes a lot of strength and help from a close friend or loved one to taper. If you are able, that is always easier on your body than CT. However, only a slow taper over a longer period of time is going to help.  A few 7.5's are not going to help you and are not a true taper.  

Do you have a few days off in a row?  If so, maybe add a sick day or two on top of that and deal with the rest.  I had 3 days off in a row (mind you, at home taking care of 3 kiddos), and went to work on day 4.  It was not easy, but I made it through with the help of Imodium, Gatorade, Ibuprofen. And truthfully, was happy to get out of my head for awhile.

If the regular offers, just tell him no thanks and that you are done with pills - with your nicest bartender smile.:)  You might be surprised with his response.  If he becomes persistent, then you will have to deal with it.

Folks from all ages and walks of life are on this site and have managed to get clean. Every one of them will tell you that it is so worth it!  Every one of them will also tell you that they are no better, no stronger, no more special than you.  You just have to want to be clean more than you want to be living a life of pill counting.

You can do this!

[jifmoc]

Flush em!!! It's scary but empowering!

If you can work thru detox, do it. People do it. The mental and the STAYING clean is the hard part. All the peeps that stay clean are in aftercare.

Keep posting and let us know how we can help. You can post as often as you want.

[Imoverit23]

In the past few months..I've quit a few times....mostly because I cou get anything.  my only symptoms are bad mood.. A generally crappy feeling & no moviation. I have a little rls & trouble sleeping but nothing some zzzquil won't fix. It's mostly mental for me.
My bf does not buy, the only time he takes is if I give to him. A regular at the bar gives as tips sometimes & I share occasionally with the bf. So not taking with him will not a a issue. Avoiding the regular at the bar may be a problem. What to do if he offers.
I want my money back & to get healthy
I have a few 7.5's left. Debating on flushing or tapering the next couple days to get me threw this week at work
I cannot take any time off. Finically or work will not allow. However I only work 4 nights a week.. About 25 hrs. I also work nights while bf works days so I have all day to get thru it alone. Just being a huge bi**ch at work will be my problem
I plan on chugging water & waking up & going to gym everyday this week

[jifmoc]

Okay. Gotta tell you some things that may sound a bit tough. Firstly, you HAVE to take the time off. We all want the easy, private way out of this but the nature of healing from active addiction means the opposite. You won't stay clean if you keep this a secret.

Your feelings and behavior is the same as any other addict. It's what we do. Go read some of the first posts of people, they are the same as yours. Notice how you didn't start out at 4 per day but now, 2 years later you are? Well, trust me, it only increases. In 4 years you'll be at 10 a day and on and on.

So, to quit you need to cut ALL your contacts, street, dr etc. Since your bf uses, you will HAVE to come clean or you will not get/stay clean. You need to get the stuff from the Thomas recipe (on here) to aid in detox. Detox blows but it's unavoidable.  

Respond back and stay close:)

[nownlater]

I can say that whatever your choice is when using any type of drug that alters your thought process in any way, like making you believe without the drug you are miserable. We have to remember that are brain can be taught to think and feel what we want to feel and think. Even if you stop for a couple days you feel lazy, not in the mood for any thng positive. You have been using for 2yrs so remember if you stop doing the drug you have to know that tt will take maybe a few weeks or a few months to get the toxins out of your body. First tell yourself everyday that God loves me and so do I.
and do this everyday and believe in yourself and the want to be clean and
pure at heart. Take each day as it comes WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!!!!