Please can someone help me..

[Elliemell]

My boyfriend of 2 years is addicted to weed, i know that some say it isnt an addictive drug but it really can be, it took me a good long year to get off of it. We have just moved in together, officially, and i didnt realise how much he smoked it untill now, its like he completly relys on it. He doesnt have a job, and hasnt since christmas. He just spends everyday smoking it and being lazy, and when he doesnt have the strong stuff for a few days (even though he has hash everyday)  he gets insanely cranky and really horrible to me.  Its so annoying because when i get back from work hese just sitting there, he hasnt done anything all day, hese maybe had the munchies and raided to kitchen but thats it.

I know i cant make him stop because he has to want to stop himself, but it just feels as if hese living in some alternative reality to me. I honestly dont know what to do, because i really love him but hese not doing anything with his life other than getting flippin high.

I dont know what to do about it all, Help..

[freakedoutmom51]

I can speak as a mother of a 21 year old who thinks smoking weed every day of his life is "no big deal"...I ge tthe lecture that it's o.k....and should be legalized, etc. He moved out of my home 3 years ago to live on his own because he didn't want to follow my rules. He did alright for the past 3 years, but now, life isn't so great for him. He asked to return home and my husband and I said no. While you are smoking weed every day, it will NOT be in my home! I will NOT enable you and allow youto do this while living here! I have an 18 year old daughter who is a heroin addict, and going through treatment, and him moving back in would be dangerous to her recovery! He does not speak to me or my husband anymore because of this decision. While I die a little bit each day because of that, I refuse to enable him and allow a dangerous situation to be in front of my daughter. She is in detox and rehab right now, and if she refuses to stay clean and abide by our drug free home rule, ...she too will have to leave and find somewhere else to live. As it is right now, she will probably be going to a halfway house to continue recovering before she will be allowed to return home.
   My advice?...stay strong. Tough love is a difficult thing to do, but wil lhelp him in the long run. If it doesn't help, then this relationship of yours was not meant to be. SO NOT ENABLE HIM!!! You will never help him if you do! Sometimes letting go is what is needed to set them on the right path.
I wish you luck

[Flip4910]

Hows it goin everyone good I hope.  I'm 23 and I've been hooked on every drug out there but I have a big heroin problem which currently is goin good been sober almost 6 months.  Anyways about the weed problem its funny I smoked for like 6 years every day.  Its funny how big of a tolerance you get from smokin dank right.  Anyways one day I don't know why but it hit me and I just started not to smoke as much and eventually I stopped haven't smoked for like 2 years.  It is a hard drug to stop and it is addicting even know some say its not.  I can say this if you don't wanna stop using then you won't thats just how it works.  But I think that using drugs is a cycle which eventually goes like this Using=Arrest=Prison/getting DT'd= a change in your mind when you have to say do I want to keep doin this and risk goin to prison or getting in trouble/court and probabtion all the time.  It seems for most people getting caught is the way they stop but it doesn't have to be so try to think about that.  If you don't agree with me thats fine but I really think it works like that for most.  If you can make money support family and stay out of trouble then smoke weed, all the power to you.  If you don't work or do anything you should not be smoking get your sh*t together.

[yeah0right]

Sara is right. I was in your shoes many years ago. I would not make it easy for him thats for sure. Pot is a mental addiction not physical. It does relax some people and I feel it is a wonderful med used properly. BUT in your situation, I would not enable him at all. I hope you are not buying it for him.If so, use that as leverage and tell him when he has his own money after a long hard day of work he can buy a bag. The "good stuff" is so expensive now a days I would discourage, because of the financial burden but also that will help lower what he feels he needs to consume. g/l to you!!!

[dominosarah]

You are in a tough spot right now.  Seems that with you working it is easy for him to sit back and do nothing.  Is he able to work??  No physical disabilities??  You need to take care of yourself.  Dont enable him in anyway.  Check out alanon in your area.  Your anger will only get worse if something doesnt change.  I wish you the best        sara