Are you going to NA or AA or some type of consuling? If not you should be. You can not do this on your own, it just is not gonna happen, not if you want to be successfull. Have you talked to GOD lately and ask him for help? Again you can not do this alone, if you can not find a 12 step meething or if that is not your thing, just hang out here. There are a lot of good people here with a whole lot of clean time, that have been in your exact postition. Keep posting, Keep reading and others will walk you thru it here. Do you have some one in your life that knows what is going on and can hold your pills and dose them out to you? Then maybe you can get your does down to a level where the wd will be minumal. Others will comments soon and you will get a lot of good advice and support here.
Sending my thoughts and prayers your way
If the mental addiction is what got you into this you need to deal with that. Are you trying to stop emotional pain? Are you doing anything to not feel or remember stuff? I know that counseling as been very helpful for me so I always recommend it to those who acknowledge that their addiction is mental and not physical.
I am not off completely yet but I have been reading in here for weeks now and have read hundreds of posts about people getting off opiates successfully. That means you can do it too. I know its the hardest thing ever but find those reserves of strength and do whatever you need to do.
Good luck and God bless
Please know that it can be overcome.Lisa is right you cannot do it on your own.You have to seek help from others with a plan of aftercare. But Please believe me that if I can do it I know you can too. I'm on Day 8 of C/T from a 2 year binge on OXY.
You have come to one of the Best places in the world. Keep posting.Keep Praying
I hate it too. I hope you come back to this site. I know exactly what hell you are going through. Myself I was hooked on about 15 pills- of 80 mgs of oxycontin a day. It almost completely destroyed my relationship with my wife and kids as it altered me and made me miserable and self-centered, spending long amounts of time in the garage just watching TV and smoking. I would "nod out" alot too. It took me getting arrested to get off of it all. But I did do it and did not go to rehab, (not that there's anything wrong with rehab, if you have the means available then I would highly recommend it). My method for getting clean was I used a 2 week (or so) taper on Subutex, which my Dr wanted me to take 24 mgs a day of. I did not. I took 8mg a day, for 3 days, then went to 4 mgs for 3, then 2 mgs for 3 days and so on until I "jumped off" - it was difficult and uncomfortable, NA also helped tremendously and some occasional xanax for anxiety. Immodium for the runs. Alka Seltzer cold & flu helped with body aches. It depends how bad you want it - you have to want to be unchained from the "unforgiving mistress" that is running you and dominating your life. It was hard, very hard at times. I tried to keep mentally and physically busy, sleep was not easy with the restless legs either. BUT everyday got a little better and slowly, (patience is a beeyotch for us addicts) I felt less and less craving and symptoms. Everytime I felt weak and would crave, I prayed to my Heavenly Father, - you may not want to hear it, but He was what got me through. You'd be shocked and amazed at how much prayer really does work. - I wouldn't lie to you. I never, EVER thought I could do it, - just like you may not right now, but I did and so can you. Believe that. You can have what I now treasure, that is the freedom from addiction, but you have to want it and work for it. I pray you will find strength, courage and finally serenity....
Keep us all posted and let us know how it's going.....
I wanted to say that I will pray for you. Prayers have always helped me and surrending completely to God has helped me immensely. Good luck with your recovery.
you need to see an assiction specailist so that they can lead you in the right direction..with your past it seems that "quiting" alone isnt going to be enough, you need help to learn to live life clean, its hard but with the right help you will be on your way to a new beginninng