Where do I start? What do I do?

[BigDaddy727]

Stumbled upon this web site today to do some research.  My wife appearantly has a problem with some perscription drugs.  Adding to the problem, she is a paramedic.  I have been finding small vials of diphenhydromine and promethazine here and there for about a year.  Also promethazine pill bottles.  And recently LOTS of hydrocodone pill bottles.  While snooping through her closet the other day I found a significant amount of these items that had been used along with needles, rubber strap, and also a portion of a straw that had a residue inside.  I am extremely naive with this sort of thing - never had any addictions whatsoever.  Don't drink, don't smoke, etc...  We have been having marriage troubles for a couple of years.  She has an on-going affair with a co-worker (also a paramedic) in another town.  Her b/f is also abusing perscription drugs, drinking, smoking pot, etc.  I am not her biggest fan but she is my boys' mother and I am concerned about her.   She used to be the perfect mom and wife.  She started changing dramatically -negatively-  when she got into the emergancy medicine field.  When we first started having marital troubles, she got hooked on alcohol for about a year, but she got past that.  I suspect that some of the drugs are coming from her work place.
So is she in trouble?  How worried should I be?  Should I do something?  ....what?

[BigDaddy727]

thank you all for your responses.  i am new to all of this and it’s helpful and encouraging to hear your input.  

Answers to a couple of your questions:

10356 - "I do not know who takes care of the kids"........... We both do; me a little more than her.  And I agree with everything you said especially about our kids.


ZJILLIAN:  i'm intrigued by your entry.  i'm not sure i understand where you're coming from.  there seems an underlying message that i'm not seeing.  i don't want anything for myself; i just want my kids' mother to not be a drug addict.  she used to be such a GREAT mom -not saying she's terrible now- but compared to how she was before all of this, not even close.  how i want to live and raise my children: i'm not concerned about me.  i just want what's best for my kids.  i want them to have as normal a childhood as they can.  i want them to be healthy and happy.  i don't want their mother to pass her habits on to them later in life.  Fixing her addiction would solve.... her addiction....wouldn't it?  And it would improve the quality of my children's life.  I'm not looking for any personal gain here however I do consider anything positive about my childrens lives my own personal gain.  

the deck is stacked against me (and her).  she is extremely stubborn AND defensive.  a confrontation would be ugly.  I would be the bad guy.  this is something her and her b/f share.  i'm sure she doesn't even think she has a problem.  i'm afraid it’s going to take something drastic for her to get some help.

[Holliee]

the two vials you found are allergy meds not sure why she would be injecting them but anywho I am so sorry for what your going thru must be he11. I also agree w/exoxy and zjillian. You do need to do something before it gets worse and something happens.

[ZJILLIAN]

Good advice from above answers to your post. I would add one other consideration: What do YOU WANT for yourself? How do You want to live and raise your children? Will "fixing" her addiction really solve anything?

[ExOxy]

Hi, - Im a recovering opiate addict, was hooked on about 15 pills- of 80 mgs of ooxycontin a day. It almost destroyed my relationship with my wife as it altered and made me miserable and self-centered spending long amounts of time in the garage just watching TV and smoking. I would "nod out" alot too. It took me getting arrested to get off of it all. But I did do it and did not go to rehab. I used a 2 week taper on Subutex, which my Dr wanted me to take 24 mgs a day of. I did not. I took 8mg a day, for 3 days, then went to 4 mgs for 3, then 2 for 3 and so on until I "jumped off" - it was difficult and uncomfortable, NA also helped and some xanax for anxiety. It depends how bad you want it - you have to want to be unchained from the "unforgiving mistress".
You will have to confront her - but she will also have to admit to having a problem, which she undoubtedly does. Remember, addiction always ends in Institutions, Hospitals, or worse.... I pray all the best for you and your wife. people do recover every day, - I have now been opiate three for over 4 months. Never give in or give up.

[10356]

Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to read of what you your wife and family are going through.. Yes she could be in big trouble if caught and with addiction we usually become very obvious to those closest to us. most do not drink and do opiates together as is screws with the high this may explain the stopping drinking.. I would gather up her stuff and confront her with it and give her the option of rehab counseling.. I do not know who takes care of the kids but having their mom slamming dope in the back room is not productive to their well being.. she needs support and firm encouragement.. We do change drastically with our addictions and fortunately we change back to who we once were once we get clean.. I wish you and yours well.. lesa