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please help..percocet predicament

I am so disgusted and mentally over taking percocet. But physically it isn't that easy. Have been taking about 12-14 5/325's for about 10 months. Lesser amounts before that. Have legitimate spine issues but would rather feel that pain than feel like garbage after taking all these pills. It may not be as much as others but its more than enough for me. no easy answer, i know. but ive had enough. suggest telling pcp?
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617347 tn?1331293081
I am doing great, thanksss :) and i can see you too.... so good reading those words from you, Jessie.... keep on working on rebuilding yourself and having a better life, you are doing it !! keep walking, jessie... merry christmas to you too and let me knw how you are doing from time , ok ? :) wish you the best cause you deserve it !! :)
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Avatar universal
Thank you laurel.  I'm doing okay now. I'm still in weekly counseling, and that has helped me so much. I'm Still CLEAN!! And that has actually become less of a struggle for me. I guess when other things happen in life, things you cannot control, it makes you want to do better, be better, and I have control of my choice to stay clean. So I'm not looking back, and I can't dwell on the past. I'm going to move forward and leave that part of my life, the pills, behind.
i feel strong and just had to come to terms witj the fact that pills will not be an option anymore. its the "real life, good life" im after. im thankful for all the help ive recieved on here. it means the world to me. and for anyone who feels like they cant win this battle, with drugs alcohol or whatever, just remember that your life and choices are YOURS. its never easy, but it does begin to fade if you are patient  and willing to start over. happy holidays to all my friends on here, and everyone else for that matter. i hope everyone is well.   :)
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617347 tn?1331293081
Having been around lately and i didn't read your last post, ... i am truly sorry, Jessie. I was just wondering about you yesterday and tried to find your thread... i am so proud of you also that you are going through evrything without those devil pills. You sound quite serenate and this speaks of you, wish you the best ... it may be hard and tough staying clean sometimes but this the way to go through life,  through the bad and good and whatsmore you are going through grief now... talk about  if you feel like it with someone you love, with us if you want... this is your forum and your fellow people.
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Avatar universal
Still clean...... its been rough lately. But I'm feeling better and my commitment to staying clean is just getting stronger as well as easier.  I wake up without feeling like I'm a better person. I find that thoughts of pills and the struggle as a whole doesn't consume me anymore. I hope all my friends, and everyone on here is doing well. Hope you all have happy holidays, and continue to stay strong.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
First it is nice to have somewhere to check out how everybody copes with the perc issue. I am going on 2.5 days perc free and I am sitting here at work just waiting to go home and sleep. I had tore my petaller tendon on Aug 7th and started taking 10-325 (six a day) They made me feel great and I was actually back to work two days after my surgery where they put two steel cables thru my tibia and knee cap. Now Feel worse then the actual tearing of my tendon. hopefully it gets better soon.
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1510084 tn?1291824940
Wow, i have read and re-read your posts, they have been an inspiration! I'm on day 6, one day from day 7, 4 days from double digits!!! My wife had a miscarriage and the emotions involved are so so hard to deal with, emotionally tramatizing to say the least. My heart and prayers go out to you- We are blessed with 9 children, love every one of them to pieces, and by far the most trying time in our 16 year marriage was at that time. god be with you...
Helpful - 0
1304379 tn?1376567437
Oh... I am so sorry you had a miscarriage. I have lost a baby at 10 days old, and it's horrible. Yes, you do have to say it out loud. It doesn't matter if you were 6 weeks or 6 months pregnant -- losing a child is a very sad thing. I am proud you are still able to clean... me... I slipped... I've been through a lot lately. I will talk more later.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I haven't been on here in a little bit. Not bc I didn't want to or wasn't thinking about it.  On November 12 i got some terrible news after an awful night. ive been struggling ever since and am really depressed. and no, i havent relapsed. ive just not been ready to talk or do much for that matter. all my energy has gone into my boy. and now im being told im too dependent on my son. which i dont understand.  sounds ridiculous to me. maybe  if i just say it outloud, or type it actually, i can begin to face it.  so, i had a miscarriage. i know this forum is about addiction so i wont talk about it much. but thats what im dealing with. thats why i havent been on here. im still clean, but boy do i think about it now. i guess if my being sober is all i can control right now im just moving forward. i know its  not worth it to go back. I'm just sad, but I guess ill survive.
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617347 tn?1331293081
Jessie, don't feel like a loser... you didn't want to become an addict, none of us... it is a disease, pain meds do change our brain receptors but living sober and working on our issues make a real difference, it might be a condition for life but things do get much, much better with time and working on ourselves...besides, many of this work should be done no matter if we were addicts or nor, all the people have issues and we'd better work on them... I feel much stronger knowing who i am and being an addict is not the end of the world, don't worry, you will be happy and enjoy life , of course !!! :) Besides, there is a time soon after detoxing that we go through a lot of emotions, those like blame and shame are on the way... don't dwell on them nor in the past, stay being positive and living the present the best you can... this is the best way to work also on the future, learnt from the past but don't beat yourself, please..:)
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Avatar universal
I just wanted to tell you - you are an inspiration to me. I recently (Sept 21) had surgery to repair 2 herniated discs in my neck. I've been taking 8-15 5/325 perc's since Feb of this year. I have begun a taper schedule, with the guidance of my Dr. I'm doing 11 pills a day for a week, then 10, then 9, etc. My worse w/d symptoms have always been RLS. That's the worst.
I know I can do it though and I want you know that reading your story gives me hope.

Here you thought you had a problem and you were all alone - but you are not! You will help a married man, father of 2, get through this. All because you had the courage and strength to help yourself. You are helping others! Keep it up! Don't look back and remember you are not alone. As I struggle and fight I will remember the people like you that have done the same and it will help me to push through the pain and discomfort.

Thank you for your help. May God bless you and your wonderful family!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So I've made it another day. Ive done lots to keep busy today, but I was pretty anxious. I can say I didn't want pills, I think it finally hit home after my counseling appt that its a permanent fight. all day every day.
i feel angry that i did this to myself. living used to be easy, effortless. not so much work. i feel like a loser again today.. except im clean. i dont know, that counselor really made me think. but, not much i can do now . just look forward and be better to myself. hope everyone has a great night.
Helpful - 0
617347 tn?1331293081
this is the way with your counseling sessions, Jessie...well done, the first thing i promised myself when i started with my therapy was that i was not going to question any of her suggestions... this was not the time to question her but to follow her guidance, i said to myself. I am really happy that you are going to counseling because addressing our addictive behaviour is a must,... NA, therapy or counseling are different ways of addressing those issues.. they all work on cognitive behavioural therapy under different shapes... You are now living the pink cloud, be ready to face the time when life is life , no pink cloud, being clean is just not enough and those counseling sessions will help you find the tools to deal with life on life's terms and this is great, some days are good, some days are bad and some days s u c k :) but we can pull through all of them with a little help and working on ourselves, have no doubt :)  Hey, a leaf blower sounds fun , hahaha... i have always wanted to use one :) enjoy it !!
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Avatar universal
Hey curlygirl! How are you? Thanks again for checking up on me. I've found Such wonderful and supportive friends on here. You are definitely a source of encouragement. i appreciate you and your enthusiasm for my recovery.  hope all is well with you! :)

And Laurel, once again I feel like you know just what to say and how to say it. Thanks so much for everything. I will continue to work on ME, and I actually had my first counseling session today. it went great. i didnt hold back. i figured this is my chance to say all i want without  worrying about others reactions, like on here. i might as well take advantage of it. i am doing all i can to stay positive and move on. and honestly 95%of the time has been just fine.. im excited for tomorrow. literally. i bought a leaf blower and cant wait to use it! pretty exciting, i know. .. but it keeps me busy and i feel like ive accomplished something at home!  take care my friend. and thanks a million!  :)
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617347 tn?1331293081
You see ? people are supporting you and are watching your evolution and progression, Jessie... it is a matter of time, people here are fantastic ..... and your commitment is so important :)  Congrats on your 1o days ... one day of each month of addiction :) Keep working your frame of mind, on a healthy lifestyle and never let your guard down... whenever you feel something weird, come here and post about it , ok ? :) keep walking as you are doing, Jessie !!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You have done it....you can definitely pat yourself on the shoulder and jump up and down and say "Yes!" at the top of your voice........You should take your knowledge and be a mentor for others in the same boat!.....
Way to go !!!
love, curlygirl
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Congrats on 10 days! That is amazing! I can really relate to your story. I have set friday to be my quit date. I am scared but excited about getting my life back. I wish you well in your recovery!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
To day to try: thanks so much! And you're absolutely right, I wonder why I didn't do this sooner. But maybe I wouldn't have gotten this far, maybe I wasn't ready then. I certainly thought  about it before now, but didn't feel like I could do it. I honest to god came across this site by accident. I started reading others posts, and thought to myself, " I need this. I need a place like this." And it just went from there. Reading how everyone else was in the same situation, in some form or other, was so comforting. I didn't have to be alone and I didn't have to lie. It gave me strength. And, hearing about ways to help with wds made them seem bearable. I knew life didn't have to be the way it was anymore...and all the people on here were my proof. I didn't get too many responses in the beginning. Janet certainly got my wheels turning. But I didn't care about the number of responses. I just kept posting, kept reading. Dark eyed Creature was incredibly helpful and helped me so much while I was struggling with how I  would begin the process. And then Laurel, she's been so positive and reminds me just about every day that I can do this.  So I've been lucky. Everyone who's said anything to me has really been so helpful in this whole process. I have so much to live for. And being clean makes me realize just how much I have. I won't be naive and think I'm out of the woods yet. I know ill have days where I'm tempted or just be "blah", but I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything. I'm just happier. I don't wake up feeling like I got hit by a truck. So, I'm on day 10 today, DOUBLE DIGITS! And it keeps getting better! I cant wait for the holidays this year.
So thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it so much!  Have a good day!
Helpful - 0
1148241 tn?1294052796
Wow, I can't believe I've missed this whole thread.  Wonderful readynow81.  I'm so proud of you.  You are doing so good.  So how many days clean does that make now?    It just keeps getting better and better from here on out.  You'll look back and go, "Why in the heck didn't I do this sooner?"

Good job!!!
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Avatar universal
Thanks Brian.
I used to look forward to that prescription. Now I look forward to not seeing it again.  I feel 50 pounds lighter!!! I wish you lots of luck too ! This place and the members have made this so much easier on me! Thanks again. Good night.
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
I was a nervous wreck before I decided to fill my doctor in on everything but boy am I glad I did! It is such an amazing feeling walking out of the office knowing what you did especially compared to the feeling and thoughts that were going through my head as I was walking in!
I happy you can relate!
Congrats on working up the nerve to make one of the best decisions you could make! Your life will continue to get better and better from here on out! I'm promise!
Best of luck to you!

Brian
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Avatar universal
roSo I did it. I told my doctor everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. And I said I was done with these garbage pills! I cried a little bc it was pretty emotional, facing everything and coming clean. But I can assure you, it was the best feeling ever. I was proud of myself, I felt strong, and I was relieved. No more tempting prescription. And i have to say thetes also a shameful feeling that seems to have vanished. i know im doing what im supposed to be doing, just the right way.  It's nearly a week later and I laugh more. I'm nicer to the people i love. i wake up feeling better and better every day.  i dont think of taking pills, however I am REALIZING HOW OFTEN  I would of taken them before. Before doing any activity, I took them. It's crazy to think of. But I am just grateful I had it in me to stop. I really was liking myself less and less bc I knew I could do better, my son deserves better.  I'm starting one on one drug counseling  next week  I'm looking forward to it, believe it or not. I spend too much time sugar coating, people pleasing ,and keeping everything in. i need this. i need unedited, free speech.like ive found on here!  Have a good night everyone, and thanks for the support.
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Avatar universal
OMG!  I am so proud of you!  I can't believe your story is so similar to mine. I am on day 8 of stopping vicodin, percocet, tramadol, darvocet (whatever I could get a hold of).  The last thing I took was tramadol Oct. 27.  I did not have any more of anything so I had to stop.  I decided to do it for good this time.  Everyday, I got outside for exercise or to the gym.  I did sit-ups, took a few imodium, and drank lots of water.  Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad after the first couple of days.  The legs cramps and restlessness was bad. I have had a headache everyday but not too bad.  The anxiety and fatigued passed after the 6th day.  My appetite is fine and I feel amazing!  I too have a 2 year old that I need to be there for.  I did this all on my own.  I never told anyone, not even my husband.  Life is great without wondering where my next pill was coming from.  Just wanted to share my story and congratulate you.
Helpful - 0
1310633 tn?1430224091
I agree with Laurel.

Screw the water supply. If I've got some of my DOC on-hand, and I'm looking for a quick way to get rid of them, I have 2 choices:

1) They go into my belly
2) They go into the toilet

Hmmmm... lets see. Which one should I pick.

(For those of you that don't know me and don't know which one I'd pick... it's #2)
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617347 tn?1331293081
sorry.... *and it is a matter of our lives involved in this issue that we are talking about here.
Helpful - 0
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