quitting trams AGAIN. need some help ASAP :(

[ThisIsntMe]

quitting tramadol for the like 5th time it feels like. its 12:06am here and my last tramadol was taken around 7-9 last night. well, today sucked needless to say, mainly just cold sweats and dizziness,sadness, a little emergency bathroom visits lol. not terrible but pretty sure its gonna get worse. anyways...

I caved and took 2 30mg adderal XR to feel better. I still honestly felt pretty crappy, not quite as good as I usually do when I take addy,(usually take 3 in a day). so I took those at 7:40, almost 5 hrs ago...

now my mom(who really is trying to not enable me) felt bad and gave me 2 of her trams to take the edge off WD(she doesn't know I took the addy) and my question is... should I try to save these 2 for tomorrow? I usually take 9-10 trams . I know it probably wasn't a good idea to take the Adderall on my first day of WD, BUT I have not yet taken the 2 trams and I REALLY want to. Coming down from the Adderall and im starting to feel worse.. should I take the 2 tramadols?
---so my actual questions...

1. Should I wait to take the tramadols till tomorrow? I'm sure the WDs will be worse...
2. Did taking the Adderall add MORE time to my WDS or make them worse?
3. Will taking just 2 tramadols tomorrow, and maybe 1 the next bring me more suffering than its worse in the end?

[brownvelvet]

hi there...just wanted to write to you ...been there on the tramadol relapse issue...doing the same thing myself...i dont have any great insight but I wanted you to know you arent alone

[dominosarah]

Continuing to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the meaning of insanity.  Until you are really ready to change things up this will continue.  There is nothing glamorous about this addiction and no happy ending.  None of us are exempt.  I hope you get this figured out as you are worth fighting for~

[kyle505]

The old saying "when you dance with the devil, the devil always wins" applies.
jifmoc hit it - no matter how you reason with yourself, or us, you are still using until you either set up a taper plan, or just quit.
You probably don't want to hear this - I know I didn't when I was "quitting". But that's how it is. You either quit or you don't - you know if you've had enough; you know if this is it. Good luck - K

[Danny111]

If you're serious about quitting don't take any tramadol at all.  You're going to feel like crap for a while.  Your mind will try to make you think you can't do it but you can.  

Obviously taking your sobriety seriously will give you a much better chance of success.  Taking it seriously means not taking any and letting those around you know that you don't want any at all and don't want to be around them.  For most people getting into some form of aftercare, NA, AA, addiction counseling, etc is extremely helpful.

[jifmoc]

Gonna answer 3 questions w/ one answer: it doesn't matter. Until you get into recovery, you'll just continue w/ this sh!tty cycle again and again and then who knows where you'll be.  

First rule of success: you must have ZERO access to pills. Your mom giving you some is enabling. How bad do you want this? Are you living w/ your mom? If not, that's easier. If you are, you are going to have to put your foot down or I promise you, the next time you are feeling weak, you'll beg her for more. I'm not too sure about effects of stopping adderall, someone on here can answer that.  Cut out all your dealers now. Block ph #s, cancel scripts etc.

Withdrawl from opiates sux. There is no getting around it. Sorry. We all have to pay the piper. I suggest you look up the Thomas recipe for help w/ wd. But, obviously you know what to expect. What you don't know how to do is STAY clean. That's the work, as you can see. Get yourself into meetings asap, NA or AA. Putting the drugs down is only the first step. We have addict brains that need a complete overhaul.We learn that the drugs are only a mere symptom of our real issues. And those issues don't just go away on their own.

Stay close and people will start chiming in.