relapse

[xanna03x]

yes, im on pills again i feel so bad i work so hard on keepin clean and here i am again im so depressed i cant even look at myself in the mirror help

[Cassie415]

Hey, I know how you are feeling, I just relapsed as well after 4months clean. I spoke at a meeting about it and got amazing amounts of support though. It is so hard to live in this vicious cycle, relapsing and detoxing, and going through all the shame and guilt and depression and mental beatings you give yourself. In my experience, I start to get to a point where the disease has really taken over and I start to convince myself that this is all my life will ever amount to, all I know how to do is take drugs and then go through detoxs and then relapse. It's sick thinking but it's the addict part of me trying to convince me to just keep doing it. For me personally, I think I relapse because I am so stubborn, and I don't do what i'm told by sponsor or anyone. While you are getting back up on your feet, maybe go to meetings and do the things suggested that you refused to do in the past. Just take all the suggestions given to you, especially the ones that seem uncomfortable. I have a lot of trouble myself taking that advice, so I hope this isn't coming across the wrong way. Just some things i've learned in my own experiences. After a relapse, for me, I can't get the thoughts of using out of my head, it's so often and so strong, but I know it's bad when I start to massage the idea in my head, plan out the relapse, etc, but if I can call someone before that happens it can totally change my thinking and help so much. I try to accept these cravings as a thought passing through my head, it's only when I start to massage those thoughts and give them the attention that they want, that I get myself in trouble. There is more to life than waking up sick and spending your day either trying to get drugs, or using the drugs once you get them. There is so much more out there, but it's so hard to see that sometimes, I understand where you are at right now. I hope you can get back on track after your relapse, i hope the best for you!

[gnarly_1]

Hey im so sorry to here of your relapse but on a brighter note you have picked yourself up and are moving forward again congrads on 10days you know what you got to do and get on the phone with someone dont let the cravings bring you down...a lot of us get them it what you do with them that counts ....you did good by reaching out here but im with Ga Guy get to a meeting and share....god luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[GA Guy]

When you crave you pick up the phone and call your sponsor or someone else who has given you their number. That's what the fellowship is for. Don't sit alone in agony..speak up. Go to a meeting and share. Work the program, dear.

[vicki595]

Hey~  What is the drug?   10 days is great!!!
post back
Vicki

[want2bme]

Do things to take your mind off of it.  Keep busy if this helps.  I quit smoking a while back and I would have good days and then bad days.  I am personally trying to live without norco and am on day 2..You are very far ahead of me and dream about being where you are.  Pick yourself up and be proud of your accomplishment!

[xanna03x]

no ive been clean 10 days but i want tu use so bad i can taste thats y im here my body cant take much more i kw so i dont kw what to do

[IBKleen]

I know. I did the same thing. I had 5-1/2 years at one time. I was very active and I moved, stopped going and relapsed soon after.

So, now you learned what I learned. It is so important to engage in some form of aftercare.

So, you are still using? If so, what are your plans to quit and get back on track?

[xanna03x]

i was going to na /aa but i stopped now im paying for it

[IBKleen]

Hi,

I am sorry to hear about the relapse. If you don't mind me asking, what were you doing in terms of aftercare before you relapsed?