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self-rehab help!!!1

USER FOR 11 YEARS. FIRST PERK 10 WAS THE MOST WONDER FEELING IN THE WORLD!!! 11 YEARS I HAVE QUALIFYED TO 1OO FENTEAAL PATCHES AND 8-10 10mg LTABS, PERKES. 8-10 VALUM, XANAX ETC.  THE DAYS WITHOUT PATCHES I TAKE ENOUGH PILLS TO KILL A HOURSE!!! 4 AGO MONTHS FAMILY DOC DETOXED ME ( CUT MEDS TO 4 10MG A DAY) THEN 3, THEN 2, TOO NOTHIN. ITS BEEN 19 DAYS, NO WITHDRAYLS, BUT I JUST DONT THINK I CAN FUNCTION IN PUBLIC. I HAVE BECOME A RECLUSE!! I AM A SINGLE FARTHER OF 3 BOYS , I DOTEXED FOR THEM!  BUT THE STRESS IS SOO GREAT!  NO CHILD SUPPORT OR ANY HELP!!! I DONT WANT TO BE A PILLHEAD!! BUT THE DRUGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR FOR ME. IT STARTED WHEN I GOT DEVORCED FROM A HUSBAND-SHOPPING WIVE (LONG HORROR STORY!!)SHE TOOK EVERYTHING INCLUDING MY SANITY!! MY 3 BOYS DESERVE BETTER. BUT I AM STILL CLEAN. ITS JUST THE TEMPTATION IS SO GREAT!!!! HELP ANYONE!??    
5 Responses
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401095 tn?1351391770
You will slowly fee like getting out more and more as time goes on....I am single and have just started to get out more...for a while I was very content just to stay home...the urge is coming back to get out and I do, I just come home earlier than I used to right now...has been 7 weeks tomorrow for me..I think my body kinda was in the shut down mode so I would get the rest I needed...also, u need some time behind you before you start the going out scene again...still dont think i am there yet...but more and more social as time goes by...hang in there
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Congrats on being clean...not only for your boys--but for you as well! It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing & you should be proud of yourself! Like GTMI said--what you're going through is normal. Maybe you could start by taking quick walks around the block. I know how you feel about not wanting to go out. At first, the thought of even going to the grocery store seemed a bit daunting...but you know?--it wasn't that bad. I think it helped that I didn't have any down time. I picked a Monday to start & went to work as usual (of course I was still taking 2 pills a day at that time), but I lived through it. I know my situation is different, but I think its paramount that you get out of the house.It may be a terrifying thought at this point but I think your reclusiveness will only worsen with each day you stay in. It will take time--- do it slowly....baby steps. I really think it will make you feel better. GOOD LUCK CHOPS!....keep posting.
Helpful - 0
217599 tn?1202850952
i remember how i felt about going out.i just wanted to hide away in my bedroom.  the first few times i couldn't even get out of the car.  now i love to be around people.it took a couple of weeks of forcing myself to go out and to talt to someone, which is really strange as i am a people person, but that is what the drugs will do to you.  keep it up, it will get better, and soon.  just force yourself, remembering the kids.  you and they are worth it.

Lucy
Helpful - 0
306455 tn?1288862071
Welcome to the forum, and sorry someone didn't respond before now.
Congrats on 19 days!  Be patien and stay strong. 19 days is not a long time compared to the amount of time useing. You will be able to function in public, it will take time and you may have to force yourself out the first few times. I understand how you feel though, I felt the same way. I even had anxiaty attacks the first few times going out, just the simplest places. But once I realized I was OK, and no one knew I was freaking out inside, I quickly became comfortable dealing with the outside world again. You need to start makeing little trips out and talk to people. Short, small talk, like at the grocery store. Just say Hi to someone, talk about the weather...whatever.   This is not unusual to feel this way. Alot of people isolate themselves for awhile. But the sooner you push yourself out in public, the better off you'll be. Just remember this will pass. Don't use this as an excuse to relapse. You'll be fine, even though you scared of it now. YOU WILL BE FINE.
Keep posting. We're here to help.
Magi
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
What you are feeling is very normal. It takes time for things to come back together. slowly venture out. Take walks and pretty soon it won't be so bad.
Helpful - 0
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