slipped up...

[nottobright]

sorry everyone....I'm trying, but I hate the way I am when going trough withdrawals and got myself 3 5mg oxycodones, or as I like to call them "pumpkins".  I now it sounds rediculus, but I can't stand the way I am towards my wife and 4 year old son when going through withdrawals.  I really want to stop...really....I want to be able to play baseball w/ my son after work again and not have to eat a few to get through it.....I'm just so tired after work.....pills or not.  what can I do?  My wife doesn't know....only 2 peole in my life know.....my best friend and my brother in law.....I won't take sub because I don't want to go through w/d from them when the time comes......any advise?  what will make my w/d less hellish.....does tapering work?  can it really be done?  sory for sounding like such a crybaby, but I feel so defeated.  thanks...

[ladyboop]

I was married 18yrs. The one big thing that destroyed us was my ex husbands lies!!!
I say tell her, Most women are very understanding. If you tell her and let her know you need her, and need her help. I do not think she would trun you away. You know your wife better than anyone. She could also help you with your tapper. If you go slow and steady. you can do it. and the w/d's will not be that bad. mild, doable...

          Good luck and god bless you both. we are here for you.

[beenthere125]

You know the best thing I ever did was my tell my hubby about my problem. I consider myself extremely lucky to have such an amazing relationship with him and there's nothing I hadn't told him in the 10 yrs we'd been together...except this. I was a couple years into my addiction before it finally came out. Long story how that came about...but essentially when it did, I just broke down in tears and told him everything...including how much I was taking. I was so ashamed and embarassed and expected him to be mad. I was surprised to find that he was soo supportive and I felt this HUGE weight lifted off of me. I no longer had to hide it and when I went to quit...he understood how I was feeling and why and was able to support me. When I got upset...he told me not to worry...'cause he understood that it was my addiction...and it kept me from feeling as guilty.

Think of it this way...if you were her...wouldn't you want her to tell you? If she truly has no idea...can you imagine how confused she must be by all your mood swings? If you're honest with her...she'll be able to help you through the withdrawals and understand that your anger isn't because of her or your child...but your addiction. When you do decide enough is enough...tell her what she's in for during your withdrawals and have her be the only one looking after your son so that he doesn't get the brunt of it. Support is key to success and if you love your wife and she loves you...you have no reason to hide it and you may save your wife and son a world of pain. Regardless of how you go about quitting...you'll probably experience some withdrawals...but I'm a strong believer in tapering 'cause for me...it's been the only way that I could avoid the majority of the withdrawals. Try taking one or two less per day...OR...if you're feeling anxious to get this over, try taking 3 or 4 less per day.

I hope this helps...keep us posted and stay strong. The best thing you can do for your family is to quit. I wish you all the best no matter what you decide.

Melanie :)

[worried878]

great post!  I hope he came back and read it

[opi]

here is my opi nion..........i was hiding stuff from wife....that was my main scare...what if she knew i was a pill head junkie........i decided not to tell her and try to deal with it alone......wow,,,,did things go wrong....so wrong.....i wish there was a time machine because i would go back and sit her down,,,tell her how it is and do what ever it was that needed doing......she is aware of addiction,,,my wife was to but i still did not have the balls to say something.....she is not an addiction virgin,,,this is good for you.....sit her down....tell her how it is...ask her for advice(this will make her feel better)...knowing that in your time of need you asked her for help will make her feel like the chosen one.....do it man,,,,,that is step 2...you know you have a problem so step one is done....trust me when i say TELL HER....ASK HER FOR HELP.....if it goes badly i will send you 100 bucks....and i'm broke,,,,that's how possitive i am that it is the right thing to do...the bottom does fall out eventually and this is not when you want her to find out.....oh the lies....the lies....(they hate that).....all the lies add up and when they find out the hard way the ripple effect of lies runs through their mind...they pull out the lie calculator and then you're foooked

[worried878]

If you feel u can tell her, I would ..if you plan to taper you will need support..if u CT you will also need support..tapering is very hard for an addict but can be done..I was at your dose 6-8 a day/could squeeze 10 in a day at times...I tried tapering by myself but would cave and take them if they were there...I ended up giving mine to someone I trust who gave then to me each day...I counted up what I needed and flushed the rest...I did a quick taper/10 days but I felt I had to seize the moment as I was ready...I planned it and took a long weekend off of work...gotta pick a clean day/a quit day and the number of pills you have to work with and go from there...keep posting

[nottobright]

my daily dose was anywhere from 6-14, depending on the day...so lets say an average of 10. Can tapering off work?  How can I tell my wife?  I don't know how she'll react.  She has known plenty of people hat have had problems, including my brother inlaw...he used heroin for 9 years before getting into the meth clinic 10 years ago.  I don't want to lose her, but I have this overwhelming felling that I need to tell her.....maybe for the support?  I have the 2 people I spoke of in my first post...is that enough...I am really confused....

[CleanUpTime]

Hey, i'm kind of in your boat (except no kids); i am usually a nice, funny and cheerful person. With the meds, when i'm having the feeling, i'm fine, but when the "high" is gone, man, i'm cranky, rude and short. So, i've just told myself, hang in there and one day at a time. I get the feeling as if nothing is going to help and this "helpless and depressed" feeling will never go away, but if you read all the postings on this site, there are plenty of people similar to us that have gone through this and are ok.

Hang in there; it's only been barely 24 hours for me and i'm not giving up this time. Just stick out the horrible feelings and cravings...do it for yourself and your family.

[little_bit]

I am so sorry to hear, i am also an addict.  i am 3 days now in the clear.  you dont sound like cry baby.  it is something to cry over its really sad.  you really need to just deal with the withdrawals they dont last that long.  you family needs you.  i know what its like to have to take a "few" to feel normal.  you know what helped me though, God!!!!  Pray and he will deliever you.  Good Luck!!!!

[worried878]

What is your daily dose?  There is really no pin free way to quit...but it is doable if u really want it