Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
7689249 tn?1408018598

soul searching

ok so i have taken my first sub this morning 4 mg I'm hoping this will be enough for me i have been thinking and searching i really want a different life i don't want drugs in my life anymore many changes are coming my way for the good my hubby is starting up his own business well partnering with a friend very exciting and a big step in our lives he has been out of work for a long time and this makes me very happy and hopeful but back to me i have realized in the last 24 hours that i really want a clean and sober life i did a list of the pros and cons someone suggested that and it really made me realize what  i already knew but it just seems different on paper in black and white right in front of my face my only fear is i really don't want to become addicted to subs but i know i can wean off them as i did without any difficulty 2 years ago i am terrified of the w/d i hate them as everyone else does i know.  what I'm wondering is this i want to take enough subs to get rid of the cravings which would probably mean 8mg but i don't want to take that much but I'm worried that if i don't i will have cravings and act on them i am struggling with what i want if i want to go on subs for like 10 days then wean off or go back on for a while to get some clean time under my belt I'm not really trusting myself at this moment but i want to do whats best for my recovery and I'm just not sure at this moment what that is my sub doctor already told me at my last appt that she thinks i need to be on them for a few years (i did NOT like that) so i know what her answer will be .....maybe i will have to do trial and error or should i just dive in with a whole strip everyday  god idk idk idk i guess either way i will become addicted to them thats just the way it is and i HAVE to go back on them cuz i know myself and i just don't trust myself to detox off the roxys then only have my meetings and therapy i have never done meetings so I'm not sure what to expect for myself I've heard they are really helpful i don't even know what my question is i guess i just wanted to share i just love hearing your opinions  they are all very helpful this forum has given me so much support and strength and i thank you all for that
11 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I had a good relationship with the doctor that was prescribing me Suboxone, so I came right out and asked if he made more money for prescribing Sub or got kickbacks from Big Pharma for prescribing it.

He said at the place he worked he was on a flat rate salary no matter how many people he saw or what medications he prescribed, and if doctors were getting money or free vacations for prescribing Suboxone it was news to him.

I went on to ask him if anybody in his practice ever got off Suboxone and he told me some had, some were tapering off, and some would probably never get off due to their lengthy drug history. I have no dog in his fight and had no reason not to believe him or lie for him.

With Suboxone, less is more. There's no reason IMO for people to be on 32mg a day when they could probably be getting by on far less. Only you can make that call on what it takes to stave off cravings for you..

I have a history of opiate abuse and addiction going back over 30 years, so it took me a long time years on Suboxone to get my mind right and my life together. I was actually on Sub for 4 years, and a little over 2 years ago came to the point I felt I had to make the decision if I had been on Sub long enough that I could manage without it, or if I was going to stay on Suboxone for the rest of my life. The latter didn't appeal to me so I decided to taper myself, and do so successfully at a slow rate with very minor discomfort.

However, in no time at all, merely a matter of a couple weeks after the drug cleared my system, the thoughts of going out to score opiates came back and I was fixated on getting high again. Rather than go back to that lifestyle, I thought it best to go back on Suboxone, and have been on it the past 2 years, doing real work to cut the ties with the people I bought drugs from, got high with, or hung out when I was getting high that I didn't do the first 2 years I was on it.

I finished my taper and this is my 5th day off Suboxone or any drugs. I had an easier time tapering this time than I did the last time and am feeling a lot better about my situation now than I did before. I've had an additional 2 years to get used to a lifestyle that doesn't involve getting high and for the first time in my life thing are going my way and I'm actually happy with the life I have now.

You're the one who has to live your life, so the decisions you make will only effect you and your family. If you don't think you need to be on it for years like the doctor recommended, and can make it without being on it that long, more power to you.

If not, a lot hangs in the balance and you better give it serious thought if you think there's a chance of you going back to using if you don't stay on it, because you could lose it all.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Never heard anything good about subs. They may help for awhile, but you get addicted to them too. And because they are a synthetic opiate, they are 100 times worse to get off of the real stuff. Methadone too...really hard to get off.  You should just jump before you get too many of these subs inside you. This is just my humble opinion. Good Luck and God Bless.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
She's already been on Subs for a while, so that concern isn't really valid in her case.

Kelly...you REALLY need to do your induction (re-induction really) properly, with your doc.  Don't try to wing it yourself.  Your addict brain will convince you that you need FAR more than you do.

I agree with kuku's post completely...with sub less is more BIG time.  Even those with heavy habits can usually be comfortably maintained, with cravings held at bay at doses lower than even 4mg.  

Please try to get into see your sub doctor.  

Will be watching for your updates!!
Helpful - 0
7689249 tn?1408018598
i got an appt the 24th I'm sticking to the 4mg for now she will want me on 8mg cuz thats what she thinks i have been taking but i don't want to take that much i will stick to the 4mg i think and then just tell her i dropped it down to 4mg
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Very good info Kuku & NG..
Can you see about taking a 2mg in the morning and a 2mg toward the later day?? From my Research and talking to a Specialist Dr Friend in this..I have to agree that the less is better..I hear that from people who are on it too. Short Term and Less..I wish you the Best.
Bless
Helpful - 0
6808710 tn?1384993739
hey girl, just wondering how you're doing today? You've been on my mind =)
Helpful - 0
7689249 tn?1408018598
hi joy im doin ok no withdrawals cuz I'm on subs how are you doing??
Helpful - 0
7808984 tn?1406680965
I had a super high tolerence to opiates like most of us do 8-10 years into our nightmare addictions and ive never in my life ate a whole 8mg sub at once  or more than 8 mg in a 24 hr peroid i never needed to for sum reason i always wonderened how these ppl think they need or even do eat 16-32 mg of sub a day idda pry collapsed if i did that and i could do more hard stuff than the best of them (not glamourising ) just making a point that less is way better than more..... that burp grabs your brain recepters way harder than most opiates do and thats why ppl still feelin like crap 90 days into soberiety and ppl doin pills and heroin feel great much sooner proof is in the pudding do the reasearch read testimonals its staggering how much longet detox takes
Helpful - 0
7808984 tn?1406680965
but i will say plenty of ppl have got their lives back on subs and without them they would pry be dead so im not saying there a horrible thing but its short term or life with subs in my eyes
Helpful - 0
7689249 tn?1408018598
when i started subs first time around i was on 16 mg a day and i was doing 210mg of roxys a day this time around she started me back on 8 mg a year ago yesterday i started myself back on 4mg I'm afraid if i go lower i will have cravings and relapse cuz I've been on 2mg the past 6 months and have been using like crazy believe me I HATE TAKING THIS $&!%
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
Suboxone is not just a pill to take away the withdrawal. It is a program to be followed under a doctor's supervision along with counseling, meetings, etc. So many people take it just to avoid the withdrawal and few make it. I hope you get yourself on the right path girl and get clean this go round. you CANNOT do this alone..it's a WE thing, not an I thing.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.