Hi Jedman Welcome to the forum. I have reread your post a couple of times. The problem I can see is you relying on drugs for energy and that you are a active addict. Our addictions turn on us. Like you I'm a addict. In the past I was also up to 20 to 30 pills a day Keeping them in supply is mentally exhausting much less what your body is going thru. Once they gave me energy then I found the only thing I was doing was sitting, the energy leaves us and in its place is malice discontent and a desire for a high we will never achieve again. My advice to you would be to taper and let your body and mind heal.. Your Natural energy will come back as well as a feeling of wellness with your body. Pain subsides, as you bounce around the drugs your body has rebound pain This means the pain levels go up trying to get you to take more opiates. You need to be patient but the pain does diminish. You say you are going to end this one way our another.. I pray it is by tapering and claiming you life back from these soul sucking drugs.. I wish you well. lesa