triggers

Question

So its Friday. The day i loved to party it up. Lol. And Friday and Saturday are big trigger days for me. Here i am over 60 days clean and those dang pills are calling. Hard. My husband is coming home this Sunday. And my dumb brain is playing tricks on me. Im romancing my drug. I know i can't but this feeling is brutal. No Im not gonna relapse. I don't have any sources. 

My question is... When will.those go away? Or will it be something i have to always contend with?

texaslady68 · Answer

Thanks Sarah!  I will keep that in mind and promise to be careful.

dominosarah · Answer

Be very careful with clubbing and alcohol.  We had a guy on here that used to say the drink bone is connected to the drug bone.  It is very easy to switch up addictions.

texaslady68 · Answer

I am going out clubbing tonight for the first time but no pills, just booze lol.  I drink only a few times a year...And I have a designated driver!!!

lulu747 · Answer

Hey Bamma...
Why aren't you shopping?  Listen-I know you said it's the Friday night thing...But maybe the stress of your husband coming home...the HUGE change that you've both gone through...That would scare me!  A definite trigger.  I'm sure you are feeling MANY things and those emotions can be overwhelming.  Why not treat yourself to an extra special Bamma night....Hot bath, good food, great movie....Give yourself a lot of love and care...You deserve it.

Or we could have the medhelp forum friday night posting party(:

You can and WILL get through this....
Love Lu...

bama88 · Answer

I know the weekends are so.danger hard. And i just wanted to bring up.triggers. I've learned Alot of mine. I had to.go in to.the office today. I've never entered it clean. Trigger. Then the meeting. Trigger. Then scheduling  change trigger. Then talked to husband. Trigger. Everything was a trigger. Im headed to the pool. Gonna swim it off. That seems to help me clear my mind. 

The hardest part for me is the lifestyle change. Its a commitment.

bama88 · Answer

There you are my dragon slayer. Im so proud of you. Ill be sending ya a post later tonight.

Addicted2long · Answer

I love ya bama I know you have the strength to pull through because uve helped me thru my darkest times. I am always here for you and i know how hard it is trust me. I Have had the hardest week of my life as you know and I have not once failed. Like you said we are in this together and I will not let my friend fail as i know you would do for me. Get out of your head girl! Message me if you need to talk I should be available later tonite. Stay positive! We can do this!!! I wouldnt be here without you.

london_man · Answer

Weekends are also hard for me as its when I used to mainly use cocaine.

I have spent the majority of weekend nights at home watching tv as I know thta if I go out I may be tempted 

I am trying to get involved in new activities but they take place during the day and this leaves my friday and saturday nights empty.  Hopefully I'll make some new friends soon so this will reduce the problem

bama88 · Answer

I still have the dream. Im snorting a fat line. Lol. Im gonna buy a new outfit. Its just addiction talking. I know that now

ricart70 · Answer

Hi bama congrats on staying clean.Cravings will happen but like Sarah said,a plan is a good thing.They will go away like everything else does.
I think one thing that helps me is I no longer live a mon.-fri. lifestyle.I try to make every day the same elementally and not try to seperate the weekend so much.Also I don't eat meat I guess mostly for atonement reasons but if I get to where I am feeling too crazy I will go carnivorous and eat a bunch of meat.It is so good and usually tranquilizes me lol
You are doing great just keep it up and it will get easier  ok    ok

selfinduced · Answer

Way to go !!! You will be better equipt to deal with your man with a clear head. I give you credit for posting your fears before they happen. Think how proud you will be when you wake tomorrow and didn't fail. Oh Kyle505, I had those dreams for weeks. They had me waking in a cold sweat. They will pass....promise.

vicki595 · Answer

First, think of something else to do on these big trigger days. You need a new routine!  Now, take yourself out and buy a new lipstick!  It's all about distraction!!

bama88 · Answer

Thanks guys. Yes i still.go.to.therapy and na. Guess i was wanting one before my husband came.home.lol. But Im not gonna use. No.way.

kyle505 · Answer

bama:
I'm right there with you. And to top it off, I've started having the pill dreams. Man, did I mess myself up. You're doing great; and will do fine. Keep posting. I always look forward to your comments. You've helped a lot of people.

dominosarah · Answer

I had a big craving right before Christmas. I got out the Grandmas molasses and had a couple spoonfuls, works everytime for me!! The point i am making here is cravings happen, we just dont have to act on them.

selfinduced · Answer

haha....medhelp posting party....love it. Bama, I know what you mean, but you have worked wayyy to hard for a half a-- high that will weigh heavy on your soul and mentally wreck you. Eat chocolate, have sex, buy a new outfit........DON'T USE! :)

theaddict · Answer

i crave a lot.

my friday night? medhelp forum posting party? hehe!
much better than the pill party i used to throw myself everyday, it got old

dominosarah · Answer

The cravings will always be with us, they just lessen with time but we always have to have a plan in place and our guard up.  Are you still going to your outpatient counseling?  Identify your triggers and then you can deal with them.  Using is not an option here.  Get yourself busy, turn up the music, you will get thru this.